Salary drop for less boring job

[MalmuteMaggie]

I'll try to keep this short.
DH and I have no children, we have both always worked full-time, but he has historically earned about double what I do, in a much more stressful job, with expected long hours of unpaid overtime. He paid a bigger share of bills etc in line with our salary differences. Because we both worked full-time we have taken equal responsibility for household tasks (though he is more fussy than me so chooses to clean a lot mire than I deem necessary, he also loves to cook).

Last year we moved to a more affordable area so that he could change career as he was getting burnout. This meant he could reduce his salary and we now both work full-time, earn roughly the same (40k ish each), take equal responsibilty for bills, and his stress is far better.

However (here is my aibu) - my job is really dull and I've seen something I think I'd like to try. But, the salary is a drop of about 14k (still full-time) - which would mean dh being the main earner again.

I've spoken to my sister and she thinks aibu because dh wouldn't be able to afford the "luxury" of dropping his salary for a job he liked more as we would be relying on him maintaining his earnings. She also thinks it is unfair of me to decide to "throwaway" our chance to save for a better retirement. But I think DH has had a chance to take a salary drop, so why shouldn't I?
We would have to forfeit foreign holidays and treats , but I'm happy to do so for a chance at doing something new. But aibu and am I (as my sister says) being selfish?

@TeaKitten unless OP is 18-20 that's not really relevant is it.

It is entirely relevant when the poster I was answering was saying 26k was an entry level teenager wage.

Yes. Min wage will be £11.44. I am not talking about 18-20 year olds. You said its hardly minimum wage or kid salary. I was just pointing out that it's £2.2k above min wage.

I didnt say that. I said what min wage is.

I wasn’t referring to you, I was referring to the person I was replying to who said OP would be earning a teenager entry level wage.

Again, go back and read what I was actually replying to before you came along.

Given that I was the first person to actually comment on the thread I dont think I "came along" somehow.

Copied and pasted word for word you said:
but it’s hardly minimum wage

I replied stating what minimum wage was, I wasn't commenting on the rest of your post I was commenting that it's not much above min wage, as you were making out that it's way above min wage.

Anyway.

So you'll be earning £66k between you without any dependents, and you'll both be in jobs that make you happy and fulfilled and aren't boring?

Sounds like a no brainer to me. Though not sure why you'd be unable to have holidays given you've moved to a (presumably cheaper?) area; our household income is less than that with 4 kids and we go abroad most years.

@TeaKitten I did miss your initial comment and only saw between you and LoubieLoo so u apologise. But it is a starter wage now for someone who isn't a teenager. Or should be if companies weren't taking the piss.

It's great minimum wage is rising but salaries just above are not rising in the same way. That's a massive problem that isn't being addressed quickly enough by employers.

I not u haha 🤦🏼‍♀️

You sound so selfish and entitled

Step up

Oooo well suit you, first to reply to the thread 👏👏👏

Yeah obviously I was referring to the fact that I was replying to someone, and you came along and said about minimum wage. 2.2k above minimum wage is more than two thousand pounds MORE than minimum wage for one thing. Might be peanuts to you but 2.2k is plenty to others. Also Op hasn’t specified hours etc. But if you read THE COMMENT I WAS REPLYING TO it was about teenagers wage. Anyway we are going round in circles. Time to move on.

I agree with that. 26k is perfectly respectable as a starter wage but it seems like a crazy drop from 40k. I think OP is better off looking around a bit more first, crappy paid retail jobs will always be around.

Yeah cheers for the grown up claps. I'll sleep well now.

I didnt say its peanuts, but in comparison to a £40k salary its not much more than min wage.

I read the comment you were replying to, it didn't make it change in any way because you USED CAPITALS. So yeah yawn.

Yeah exactly it's a starter wage for someone 21+

Not much I can do if you choose to ignore what I was replying to then. And the claps suited you, you are very welcome.

I'd love to know why you love retail, it always seems the worst of jobs! (I've done it)

I believe the absolute main benefit of not having children is so you have the freedom to make your life enjoyable. No way would I work in a job I hated if I didn't have kids.

Ask him, it will start a conversation about your quality of life because it does sound like he has had the benefit of being able to address his horrible work life, so why can't you discuss yours with him?

There might also be a way of you earning more than £26k and still having an enjoyable career. Or maybe you need to go back to Uni or retrain, it's worth starting the discussion IMHO

£26k is a huge drop from £40k, and posters above are right saying this isn't much more than minimum wage. But if your DH is happy with that I don't see the issue. However, not everyone would be happy with that. I wouldnt.

Honestly I'd be really unhappy if my partner wanted to drop to such a low wage . It's really unfair to ask him as his was a totally different scenario .

Honestly if you're bored, maybe take the time to upskill and then look for a more interesting comparable role .

I don't think you are being unreasonable or selfish to raise this. At the end of the day it will be a joint decision. I would just put it on the table and see what DP says.

I'm an outlier it seems but I'd say it's never unreasonable to want a happy life. I can't imagine my partner or myself ever expecting the other to be miserable for the sake of money- the huge caveat is will this drop mean you introduce a new kind of misery, stress over money? You can't really see it tit for tat IMO, it's not 'you dropped salary so now its my turn', its 'what changes do we need to make for both of us to be happy?'. You're a team.

• Will the drop be long term, or is it something where there's a clear progression path? Likewise what are DH's options for progression that he'd be happy with?
• How do things like pension, job stability, any other benefits compare in both jobs?
• Is there a midway option - do you think you could hold out for something slightly better paid and interesting to you?
• Are you ever planning to have children?
• Are there any other long term money things that factor in (eg if you know you're almost certain to inherit millions before retirement it changes the equation; likewise if you expect to be funding support for elderly parents through retirement or you both want to move to a pricier area)
• Do you have an emergency fund and would you both be OK with the lifestyle sacrifices a salary drop would mean?

What did you love about retail?

would you consider something like Business to Business sales? It’s a very people oriented role (which I’m assuming is what extroverts enjoy about working retail). Base salary in an entry role would likely be under your current salary but commission could raise it and there’s lots of room to grow. It is typically seen as a graduate thing but for most sectors you don’t need a degree. You’ll be paid better in a less ‘sexy’ industry- think selling plastic or metal or concrete over booze or beauty products.

Or if it’s the hands on aspect you might enjoy retraining in a trade. You’d take a pay drop while you train but then you can go self employed and easily match your current earnings.

This new job could turn out to be worse. Sometimes boredom is better than untold stress/ unpleasant colleagues/ culture etc. You won't know till you start, if you even get the job...It's a big risk. Are there other jobs in a similar field that pay more? But obviously broach the subject with him of wanting to leave.

Boredom is stress.

@BIossomtoes I guess that's true. The boredom I'm familiar with can range from working in a factory production line, doing one task repeatedly (this could be data entry or something else in an office setting), to literally just sitting there for 85% of the time doing nothing, staring into space. Wishing, hoping, that someone will ask you to do something. So it depends on the job I suppose.