I wish just I'd been honest...

[busy45bee]

Context: I'm a vegetarian. I offer to bring a dish to dinner if I'm invited.

On Sunday we were invited to SIL's house. They are big on their meat dishes and I did my usual of offering to bring something veggie. They said 'no all good!' so we took that as food would be provided.

We arrive and BIL's mum (SIL's MIL) has come along and done some of the cooking. She's made me a salad...with bacon lardons. She said 'I hope that's ok, it's just on top' and instead of saying anything I nodded and thought how the heck am I going to get out of this one.

I had salad wrapped in a napkin in my handbag. I stealthily dropped it in there as I reached to scratch my ankle. I flicked bacon on the floor in the hope that the dog would eat it when no one was looking but that was hard as there were 9 people around the table.

I told my DH that it was amazing and he must try some. He gobbled it up. My MIL realised what was happening and decided to be part of the bacon smuggling. She made a big fuss about how delicious it looked and practically swiped it off my plate which was just too theatrical.

Now we look like weirdos who go crazy for bacon salad. I'm worried it's going to become a staple at family gatherings and I don't know how to get out of a perpetual bacon cycle.

Please do. I’ll volunteer in whatever capacity you need me to.

@JackNoMiddleNameReacher i know. But there’s a difference between explaining no meat on Friday which meant you could eat fish to someone’s mum or a friend to people catering a menu. Whilst not that common there was a pretty accepted definition of vegetarian around for at least two decades at that point.

The gelatine, chicken stock, rennet and lard is a little more niche knowledge and people just don’t think about it routinely so I’m sort of fine with that even now and happy to check, but as a main component of the dish, it’s pretty weird to not check. But the insistence that I do eat something which I explain I clearly don’t is the bit I objected to. She took the fish away and then brought it back saying vegetarians do eat fish. It was actually pretty funny if I wasn’t so hungry.

That is quite funny that they told you what you eat.!

After I gave birth and was breastfeeding in hospital there was nothing on the menu for me to eat.
Breastfeeding mums were told not to eat quiche as the eggs aren’t hard boiled and that was all that was on the menu for a vegetarian ( no vegan choice in those days either, not even a salad )
I asked for marmite on toast.

The hospital chef sent a message back saying marmite isn’t vegetarian.!!!! This was 2004 fgs. And he was the main guy doing all the menus for a hospital!

Sometimes it can be hard work

Out of interest did you have anything to eat OP or was every dish meaty??

This was hilarious!
Thanks for cheering up a grey day!

Maybe she had these? They’re vegan

https://www.desertcart.co.uk/products/12021385-mccormickbac-n-pieces-bacon-flavored-bits-4-4-oz?gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAiA6KWvBhAREiwAFPZM7rrvpN2a1hTFPLPTDVZCJNygT586oVp32AhudXljVMN74Z4-22QyxhoCHpUQAvD_BwE

@Starspangledrodeopony how would you have dealt with this particular situation? I've been in similar positions before and never known quite how to react.

Im hearing Nana from the Royal Family "can she have wafer thin ham Barbara?" 😂

Oh have a day off 🙄

I think you’ve handled this terribly.

@Pleiades2020 , I would say 'I don't eat bacon or any other animal product, would it be ok if I rinsed the salad under the tap please?'

Oh it’s a shame for you @busy45bee

Of course you should have just been honest. You could have clarified by picking the bacon off the top and putting it on a plate or tissue openly. They should have respected your wishes, being honest would hopefully help towards them doing so in the future. As for the poster who immediately leaped to “go NC”, FFS get a grip 🙄

I sympathise about the getting into a hole issue. I really dislike runny eggs and I thought DH knew this. A few years ago as part of his learning to cook he made spaghetti carbonara. I gagged it down and politely said it was very nice - it’s now become his specialty to be wheeled out regularly.

@AnnieSnap , that was me. If someone knew that I am a vegetarian and they deliberately chose to put bacon on my food, then I would feel within my rights to not wish to have anything to do with them.

It happens sometimes that people disregard your feelings and reasons for not eating something.

It’s an extreme OTT reaction to an elderly MIL

@AnnieSnap , OP didn't say her MIL is elderly.

She said and I quote “as I said she is quite old and they are a 'meaty' family”!

That came after my original post.

Why Tf would you do that? Just say you are vegetarian! That’s absolutely ridiculous.

Why was the food you had brought in a napkin. Was it not possible to put it in proper container. If it was in a container, then just move the plate you were given aside and replace it with your own dish.its not difficult.

The OP didn't bring any food. She hid the food she was given in a napkin.