I wish just I'd been honest...

[busy45bee]

Context: I'm a vegetarian. I offer to bring a dish to dinner if I'm invited.

On Sunday we were invited to SIL's house. They are big on their meat dishes and I did my usual of offering to bring something veggie. They said 'no all good!' so we took that as food would be provided.

We arrive and BIL's mum (SIL's MIL) has come along and done some of the cooking. She's made me a salad...with bacon lardons. She said 'I hope that's ok, it's just on top' and instead of saying anything I nodded and thought how the heck am I going to get out of this one.

I had salad wrapped in a napkin in my handbag. I stealthily dropped it in there as I reached to scratch my ankle. I flicked bacon on the floor in the hope that the dog would eat it when no one was looking but that was hard as there were 9 people around the table.

I told my DH that it was amazing and he must try some. He gobbled it up. My MIL realised what was happening and decided to be part of the bacon smuggling. She made a big fuss about how delicious it looked and practically swiped it off my plate which was just too theatrical.

Now we look like weirdos who go crazy for bacon salad. I'm worried it's going to become a staple at family gatherings and I don't know how to get out of a perpetual bacon cycle.

My family are all vegetarian apart from myself and sons and although we cater for them, they don't do the same for us.

You want them to cook you meat?

It’s not ‘sweet’ to openly lie and flick bacon on the floor like a mad person. 🙄

This all reads like some dated Ealing comedy where someone is locked under the stairs and the vicar’s trousers fall down. Goodness me! Not eating meat! What a to do!

yes its funny but can I say that you are a lovely person who did your best not to upset a lady who thought she was being kind? But yes, you are going to have to fess up!

It is tbf 😂what was the point?

Vegetarian food us just food
I love meat
But would never expect s vegetarian to cook meat for me why would they?

It’s a hard one - to be honest to yourselves and yet not offend hosts.

Friends we visit know that we are vegan - no daft business about cutting ham thin etc. We often take our own non dairy milk.

We’ve only had one incident in years - friend had genuinely forgotten. Ironic as her adult daughter is vegan too. We went out and she froze meal for another day.

Would I eat it - no. How would I cope - not sure.

Might be tested next week at the wake of a recently departed friend. There’s usually something and/or chips on the way home.

Super confused why you didnt just remove the bacon and put it on the side?

The easy answer is that you always bring a vegetarian dish that you can eat. Or you can continue this commedia dell'arte, which sounds pretty fun.

I don't really understand what you're asking.

Just use your big girl words next time

Often on MN I read a thread and think "thank fuck I am not British". This is one of them. Why are you all so uncomfortable being honest?!

I’m British and I absolutely agree with you. Irritates the fuck out of me.

This is hilarious! I can’t get the image of you desperately trying to lose the bacon, out of my head

People who don't eat meat generally also don't eat food that has had meat on it.

This has nothing to do with being British .

Calm down or the dog will look at you funny 🤣🤣

I’m actually surprised and impressed that your MIL helped you out. A strange positive MIL moment on mumsnet

I can totally see you serving a friend chicken curry and saying oh it's fiiiine, you can just pick the meat out. Oh you don't want it? Plain rice for you then... and muttering about ungrateful guests

Reminds me of the Royle Family "Can she have wafer thin ham Barbara?"

People having a go.....

The problem stems from someone presenting something that they have spent time and effort on especially for you, being very thoughtful in doing so if a little misguided, and you then in a pickle of rejecting it and therefore potentially really hurting their feelings or doing the "white lie".

My ex husband loves trifle but hates the sponge in it. So every Xmas my mum would make him an individual one without sponge. But eventually he admitted to me that although he appreciated the thought, when the trifle was brought out everyone else could say no if they were too full or just didnt fancy it. He felt he had to eat it, regardless of whether he wanted it, as she had made it especially. So in anticipation we went down the "white lie" route and said that he was avoiding puddings and fattening things as he had put on weight lately (true!).

Everyone was happy.

I genuinely can't tell if this is sarcastic?

lol always take food with you even if the host sounds very enthusiastic about catering for you, especially then - am sick of having nothing to eat at these sorts of things, even without the bacon if it's a leafy salad that's not a proper meal anyway

Agreed..Of course they don't.

Also feeding other people's dogs is a real no no . They could be on a low protein diet for their kidneys .

@FootOnTheGas "My family are all vegetarian apart from myself and sons and although we cater for them, they don't do the same for us."

You mean they don't give you any food? That's awful!

The potential lack of understanding reminds me of a meal I had at my aunts in Ireland .
Beef and dairy farmers.

Their idea of my vegetarian meal was
The cabbage and potatoes from the bacon stew. I’m sure many on here will know the classic dish. Leave a lump of bacon in a pot surrounded by veg and let it stew all day.

Then there was a wedding in France I went to. A 7 course meal of which 4 of my courses were fish, because I am a vegetarian 😳. I just didn’t eat them. Bit embarrassing tbh.
More recently a risotto lovingly cooked for hours by a friend with Parmesan in! I had the kids leftovers on that occasion.

But I didn’t however flick any food at various pets 🤣. I just told them it’s not veggie.
I understand you didn’t want to upset them though but you have dug yourself into a tricky corner now.

I thought OP stated it was her own dog she flicked the bacon at.

This is so hilarious OP