To ask for non-medication based ADHD tips

[scatteredgreymatter]

Posting for traffic, sorry.

I am basically pretty sure I have ADHD but I don't want to commit to a life time of medication, don't want to wait 3 years to find out for sure, and don't have a grand to spend on an only semi useful private diagnosis.

So - has anyone seen a private therapist online that they would recommend? I think CBT could really help.

What about these apps, Inflow, etc? Are they any good?

I am looking for something a bit more of a commitment than other coping mechanisms, like write lists. I've tried a lot of different lists app. I think I need something at least partially therapy based.

It was CBT through my work so I’m not sure which organisation the therapist was actually from. The coaching is online through Access to Work and provided by the Neurodivergent Coach. (1st result on google). TBH it’s taken a lot of the CBT to get to a point where the coaching is helpful so I’d def recommend CBT first.

i was diagnosed through the Owl Therapy centre who are based in cheltenham but provide services uk-wide online. They were incredible for assessment so I’m sure their CBT would be equally as good.

Over five years wait where I am.

For clarity, I don't know if I have ADHD, filling in online questionnaires I come out very borderline. I certainly have some executive function difficulties around forgetfulness and organization that look like ADHD.

I like 'How to ADHD on YouTube'. I find exercise very helpful. Accepting that just because other people can do things, doesn't mean I can, if I work harder, and it's ok to employ coping mechanisms. Coping mechanisms need to be easily implemented, and not rely on essentially being a better person. So 'always put things in their place' not a good mechanism. I'm not going to do that.

Some things that do work include keeping essentials at work, having a Tile (bluetooth tracker) on my keys, and not listening to audio books while driving.

Because they are 30 ish years old, no idea where they are, don't really want to ask my probably ND mum what she thinks about me being ND as she will take it as a personal affront.

THANKS! Hadn't heard of DBT - I knew I would learn things.

I'm a shit show too. :(

I self-reported on my childhood and my long-suffering DH who has known me all my adult life completed the questions that might otherwise be answered by a parent. I've not told my parents about my diagnosis for various reasons.

Why don’t you want to go back through school reports….

Off topic, but I’m now fascinated. People keep their school reports? Why? Do they have a school report review day once a year, or decade or something?

My school reports were never kept. In several decades I’ve never once been asked for them (why?). I never kept my kids. The last one got thrown out when the new one was received. Then, at the end of school they went to uni so what good would reports do? Even if they hadn’t gone to uni they would have received leaving certificates with subjects and levels achieved. As each kid graduates, as part of the clean up process, leaving cert also goes as why would they need this when they have a degree? Where do people keep all this shit?

Any diagnoses my kids have had were made while they were at school, and even then the teachers were given realms of targeted questionnaires, we never had to provide school reports as they did their own educational testing as part of the path to diagnosis. How is the fact you got a B in maths at 10yo or a bunch of subjective criteria relevant?

I'm not diagnosed but pretty certain I have ADHD- I score high on online tests, I have some school reports that are like tick boxes. I think had I not moved schools a lot in early years I might have been diagnosed back then.

I found L-Tyrosine and 5 htp really helped- but the 5htp was giving me palpitations so I stopped.

Excercise, low carb, vit b and d and omegas make a big difference but it's hard to remember/stick to for long.

I'm the same though- wouldn't be keen on going on medication long term.

@scatteredgreymatter
@HBGKC
@Comingupriver
@PollyRuby

So when it was obvious that ADHD meds weren’t going to work out for me I spent some time looking into various supplements and tried a few different things.

I’ll stress that these are very much just the things that work for me and it’s important for people both to do their own research before trying something and to listen to their own body’s reaction if they do try it.

The supplements I take are the following, I take one of each once a day with my breakfast:
5-HTP 100mg this is a serotonin precursor and iI find that it makes me calmer
Phosphatidylserine 100mg - I find this helps me with cognitive function generally, especially memory and attention
Omega supplement with 425mg EPA and 270mg DHA- just generally support cognitive function but especially memory

I find that the effects are helpful and supportive but not a magic wand. I have found that combined with a higher protein diet, specially in the morning and staying more active, I have much more capacity and am more steadily focused taking these.

I also autistic so ADHD meds (Elvanse) just led to me being very overstimulated within a couple of weeks and so I couldn’t sleep.

When I was first trialling supplements as an alternative I tried GABA, which produced a similar clear, direct focus as Elvanse had, but soon similarly made me unable to sleep. I mention it because I was very disappointed it didn’t work out for me because it was so helpful for the short time I was able to take it.

I also take bacillus subtilis 3.1 billion CFU daily, as there is some evidence that it is protective against Parkinson’s Disease (people with ADHD have a higher incidence than general population).

I take ADHD meds because at my point of diagnosis and prescription, I had tried everything to improve myself and work through my struggles and nothing was helping. After multiple misdiagnosis I was diagnosed with severe combined ADHD two years ago. My body isn't hyperactive but my brain is both hyperactive and impulsive.

I tried CBT and it didn't work for me at all, so I did normal counselling to help offload any stressors and help build routines that worked for me. I plan to do DBT next, as that focusses more on emotional regulation than behaviours and thought processes but we're relocating soon, so I'm delaying until then. I'm hoping that DBT will allow me to reduce my medication.

Meds help but they're not a magic cure all. I do a lot every day to help bridge the deficits I have :

Supplements: I take a high dose of omega 3 and a high dose of vitamin D. I also use a magnesium moisturiser most nights.

Diet:
I eat regularly. I aim for 3 meals and two snacks a day because I struggle with interoception and often don't recognise I'm hungry until I'm at the point I feel nauseous or dizzy with hunger.

I try to eat as balanced a diet as possible, and try to include all food groups in the majority of my meals.

I've found massively reducing the amount of sugar and ultra processed foods I consume really helps (although it takes a while to see results).

I also don't drink alcohol, or caffeine as I find those make my ADHD worse.

Routine:
I try to go to bed at the same time and I have an alarm to get me up at the same time every morning.

I write down all major tasks that will need doing the night before. I will also list a few small, easily achievable tasks as well. That means that even on really bad days I can look at the list and see I've achieved something which means I'm more likely to be able to push through the more difficult tasks I need to do.

After my daughter is ready for school, I put a load of washing in and dry it.

I try to cook dinner so that it's ready for between 5.30 and 6 every evening.

I have alarms set on my phone to remind me to shower and brush my teeth because otherwise there are some days I just get distracted and forget or endlessly procrastinate because I know I should do it but my brain won't let me.

I always feel a lot better if I get up and dressed in the morning. It helps me feel more motivated and makes a clear line between "rest" and "productivity"

I aim to go out at least once a day for some fresh air and exercise, as this massively helps with being able to complete tasks.

I ditch all screens for an hour before bed. I usually read or colour to wind down.

I also have an hour a night to myself to just "be" and re regulate. When I go through periods of high stress, my sleep goes out of the window, and I often won't sleep until after 2am, so my husband will take our daughter out for a few hours at the weekend so that I can catch up on sleep.

Written down everything probably sounds really extreme and OTT. And it probably sounds quite restrictive. But my routine just fits into every day life. I'm happy to break routine if anything comes up or if we're doing something else, like going on holiday or eating out etc.

Ultimately though, I need the structure to be able to function properly, and I need the medication to function properly. They go hand in hand with each other and you can tell when either of them are missing.

Following.

This is all so helpful. Thank you for taking the time. It makes a lot of sense that some of the benefits of medication can be achieved through diet and supplementation, I am going to try some things.

@Fruitystones this all makes a lot of sense and a lot of it rings bells. My DH basically ensures that most of this is in place for us, as he is a very disciplined person. But he doesn't brush my teeth for me... and yeah those are the types of things that sometimes just don't get done left to me.

I write lists with some easy wins too. My problem is specifically with work. I don't seem to have a conscientiousness side to me at all so if I have a personal to do list that will often get done. It's work that I just slip and slide around with.

I tried L-Tryosine and it was also very helpful but again made me unable to sleep.

Some people keep them for sentimental reasons and like to go back through them with their own children. Most of the women I know with school age kids have kept all their school records and have them stored away with other things they keep from school. I have dds and they were looked at by gp before referring her for an asd assesment.

My mum chucked my reports when she found out I was being referred for asd and adhd as she doesn't believe they exist and thinks some of the questions that get asked are criticisms of her, she's the type of person who thinks adhd is just bad parenting so she probably feels like she's being called a bad parent

I was told one of the most important criteria for nhs diagnosis is evidence of the adhd traits present in childhood so school reports and/or speaking to someone who knew you well during childhood, (usually a parent) or older family member is essential but then I've seen other people in here say they didn't anything like that.

I've been told my aunts and uncles and also my older sibling can do that part of the nhs assessment if my Mum won't. My friend who was diagnosed through Psychiatry UK a couple of years or so ago, similar story with unsupportive family and psychiatriy U.K. just told her to have a close friend or partner of six years fill in the surgery. I'm not for one second saying she doesn't have adhd, I fully believe she does and can see what a difference meds have made to her life, but we've both been amazed at how much less thorough, especially RE childhood the psychiatry U.K. diagnosis seemed to be. It was an online self report filled by an hour long video call and that's it. Her dd is 19 and had an nhs assessment last summer and it was much much more in depth, several hours long and very thorough at looking school reports etc, it's made my friend doubt her private diagnosis was thorough enough.

I have ADHD and Im actually pretty good at balancing everything.

I make a list every night before bed. It's more so that I can info dump everything I need to do tomorrow and stop worrying or thinking about it. It helps me sleep, I won't forget because it's all written down and I feel I processed it and can leave it until the time comes. I actually just do it on a chat with myself on my phone (duel sim I message my other number).

I'm bad for starting tasks and not finishing them. I've found it's a bit like a muscle. You have to start small and flex your ability to finish what you start. I started with getting to the end of 10 minutes yoga sessions and I it's culminated in a finished book (writing one not reading) earlier this year.

The same thing is true of attention span you can improve it with a bit of practice, it is frustrating though.

Yoga is really helpful. I've done running as well but I detest it and it's boring, the yoga took me around a year to fully learn to contain my thoughts to the present and be present on the mat but when I got it down I was so grateful I'd stuck at it.

Sometimes I let myself be as distractable and indecisive as I want. I take a day to myself and let the ADHD run rampant. It's hard containing it all the time, if you try you will burn out. You can't punish yourself for being you and you will waste energy trying, and then feel like you failed, of course you didn't, but it will feel like that. Instead, giving yourself time to decompress and be yourself will give you balance.

Is there anything in particular you are struggling with?

I know you havnt asked but are you taking vitamins?

I have ADHD and magnesium helps me with my attention/sleep l, I take other vitamins aswell as their shown to have benefits too

Haven’t read all the replies (because I have adhd lol)…but l-theanine & caffeine in the morning, lots and lots of protien, lots and lots of water and plenty of sleep.
Anything that makes your life easier is a must. Robovac, auto pet feeders, tumble dryer, cupboards to shove things in etc etc.

Also give yourself and your funky brain a big ol’ break. Neurodiverse people are not built to participate in modern society and doing so is bloody exhausting.

oh and join the women with adhd Facebook group you’ll get LOADS of tips and advice over there.

CBT was life changing for me (diagnosed ADHD)

THANK YOU for posting this ! My Ds (19) was NHS dx ASD, Clinical Anxiety & Dyslexia aged 12 (all are quite severe but we lived in an area that 'didn't diagnosed in Primary'). I am quite clear he also has ADHD but GP won't refer. I am looking for what I can do to support him without ADHD meds. He doesn't sleep well either.

Thank you, your message is really encouraging! Well done. Are you on meds?

I am particularly struggling with work atm. But if it wasn't that it would be my personal life (young kids, 2 x full time jobs). I can't do both really. I wfh and should be able to but I spend a lot of days staring at my screen not able to start anything. It's currently quite a self directed role with not much accountability which is terrible for me.

I've found a couple of groups? Which is it please ?

Following! 💖

Hey sorry for the delay replying.

It's going to sound cliche but just start the thing. Honestly just jump in and force yourself to start it. Once you do it will be much easier. I find with exercise the dread of doing it and build up is worse than just starting! It's another really good thing to practice because eventually you procrastinate less and just jump in to get things over and done with.

Don't be too hard on yourself with two kids and a full time job. Could you try slowing things down and just spending time being present? I often have to remind myself to just slow down and breath and that the world won't end if I'm not going at 110 percent. I try to practice some simple living things as well, walks in the park, cheap snacks and a TV show etc. but really stay present for them and enjoy the moment, otherwise it feels like another thing thats rushed past me or taken for granted. I find my mood improves a lot if I actually take time for these things instead of distractedly thinking about other things I need to do or feeling bad about what I haven't done etc.

I don't take any daytime medication I do take prescription sleeping pills as I really struggle with insomnia and switching off. If I don't sleep I'm utterly useless too. Obviously I've had to have a specialist prescribe these as I'm on them long term.