To ask for non-medication based ADHD tips

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Posting for traffic, sorry.

I am basically pretty sure I have ADHD but I don't want to commit to a life time of medication, don't want to wait 3 years to find out for sure, and don't have a grand to spend on an only semi useful private diagnosis.

So - has anyone seen a private therapist online that they would recommend? I think CBT could really help.

What about these apps, Inflow, etc? Are they any good?

I am looking for something a bit more of a commitment than other coping mechanisms, like write lists. I've tried a lot of different lists app. I think I need something at least partially therapy based.

Out of interest, do you identify with the hyperactivity bit? I totally don't. I think I would be inattentive if indeed I do have it.

Apparently 1hr of moderate cardio exercise helps reduce ADHD symptoms for 4hrs. Definitely notice a difference in my case. I don‘t really have time for the gym so it‘s just brisk walking (habit started when I was out a lot with toddler DD in the stroller). I feel much better on days with 7000-10000+ step.

This one is contentious but caffeine absolutely makes a positive difference to my ADHD. It‘s a stimulant similar to ADHD meds and anecdotally works the same way in the brain. It calms me down, makes my thoughts clearer and I find it easier to concentrate and complete tasks. Many doctors don‘t advise self medicating with caffeine but I found exactly what works for me and always take care not to overdo it.

The caffeine in tea or coke is too low and I don‘t feel anything. I need 1 shot of strong espresso and feel amazing for 1-2hrs (real espresso, not Nespresso capsules which are weaker). I limit myself to 2 per day, usually 9am and 3-4pm. I add a buffer of 2 more espressos, depending on the workdays (eg travelling, events etc). So I might have a single in the morning and a double in the afternoon. I have no discernible side effects from this at all. Also no problems sleeping if the last espresso is no later than 6pm.

This is so interesting and insightful, thank you.

Exercise - falls by the wayside due to always feeling behind on other more compulsory things.

Diet I'm not too bad.

James Clear - started it a million times. I love his weekly email but i've struggled to get on with the book so far. I did start putting my car keys down in the same place every time I walk through the door. Interestingly DH who is as far from ADHD as possible to be, does everything I read in Atomic Habits by nature.

You have made me more determined to keep looking at CBT. Thanks.

That's helpful! Then I should just get my exercise done in the morning rather than put it off until I've done my work, and then not do it.

You could listen to the podcast We need to Talk About ADHD from March 4th. Joseph Pack the founder of Drug Free ADHD was the guest. It wasn't an approach I could see working for me, but it's a place to start.

Don’t underestimate the power of nutrition.

Low carb helps massively.

@HoppingPavlova Sorry you are right. I missed a crucial word there. It should have read potential side effects, that's a typo on my part.

Thanks. I tend to eat quite a bit of pasta and bread when I'm alone because I wfh and it's easy, plus I like to limit meat. I sort of know it's not ideal but I'm slim and have no external motivator to eat differently. However I should give it a try perhaps.

I would add, I have done A LOT of CBT over the years and it simply didn't work for me. I now realise that it was never going to work because I wasn't diagnosed and I needed therapy that was designed for a ND brain. But I also needed the medication to enable me to engage with therapy (I am only just now beginning to look for an ADHD coach after a year of medication).

So CBT might work, but it has to be designed to take account of ADHD - and the things you possibly just can't do.

Thanks for all the posts. I really appreciate them.

Does anyone who is diagnosed have any insight into how borderline they thought they were, if that makes sense. I struggle so much but I don't know if I'm actually just lazy..

Please could you let me know. Thanks

Partner has inattentive ADHD, and things that definitely help are regular exercise, meditation, good sleep and diet. The exercise makes a dramatic difference to his mood and focus. He cycles as his commute, so doesn't have to find extra time to do it, otherwise it would probably be hit and miss. Meditation also seems to help, and he seems calmer and more aware when he is meditating regularly.
He is also on meds, I have personally not noticed much benefit from the meds, but he feels that they help more with his focus at work and they have worn off by the time he gets home anyway due to the way they work.
I think eating regularly and healthily makes a difference, and also having good sleep routines/going to bed early etc.
DP has had lots of different types of counselling over the years and IMHO none has made a difference, I think this might be because his ADHD gets in the way of him setting new habits and he doesn't really seem able to engage with it long term.

This is really interesting - I think I am hitting peri and am mildly anaemic and am coping badly at the moment.

Am talking to the GP but their approach to whether I am peri or not didn’t extend much beyond “are you having hot flushes?” (I’m not).

Just to add something useful - I find “bodydoubling” (e.g focusmate) really helpful.

Please could you share with me?

I think a good definer will be commit to the therapy….if you make every appointment on time and are able to follow through PROPERLY hand on heart with all the exercises set after the sessions and are fully able to engage for the whole session….then I think that will go some way to telling you that you may not actually have ADHD.

As someone who has ADHD the thought of adding something extra into my life on a weekly basis, which I have to fully engage with, show up on time for and be able remember the sessions to implement anything helpful I might gain from the therapy so much that it becomes habit - is hilarious to me!! And if you have what you think is the inattentive format then you will probably agree.

I missed your further posts first time. They are v useful. I have a feeling I could be peri. I've had terribly heavy periods lately which wouldn't have improved iron levels. I am struggling more at the moment than usual. I also need to get vit d and thyroid checks. Have been meaning to since my last pregnancy 2 years ago but have procrastinated on it :-/

Why don’t you want to go back through school reports….you can’t pick and choose how it is diagnosed 🙄

Thanks Mayor, you're probably right! Are you on medication and does it help?

How to ADHD on Facebook has a lot if tips. Look back on some of those posts.

How does coffee effect you? Caffeine should have a calming effect on you if you have ADHD. Self medicating with a strong coffee each morning is quite a popular alternative to stimulant meditation.

I'm prescribed meds but I only take them 2-3 days a week because they give me a horrible dry mouth.

I've found the best way to manage things is habit stacking, and practicing forming habits one at a time. It's hard work but eventually one clicks, and then you can add another to it. And obviously systems for everything (I have a basket for my keys and headphones etc, a hook that's in a weird place but it means I will definitely hang my coat up etc)

Also if there's something I really struggle with I sit down and analyse why - ie I'm bad at dealing with emails, so I've made it as easy as possible - the laptop lives in the kitchen next to the table and a plug, I flag emails as they come in and then block off the time to do it 3 days a week. Because I've flagged them I know I only have to deal with them and it's more manageable.

Body doubling helps too - I have a friend with ADHD and we'll set up a WhatsApp video call and just work away, has the added benefit that I can't check my phone because it's occupied!

And all the other stuff - rest, exercise, not just eating hot cross buns all day every day etc 😂

I went to a talk by a guy with adhd. The one think I remember was he said he could never remember if he had scanned in an Oyster card - so he used to have it in one picked and put it in the other after he had scanned it. Therefore he knew by where it was if he had done it.

I don't have ashd but I do have lists and alarms in my phone for everything!

I spent a lot of time pre-diagnosis vacilating between "oh my god this explains EVERYTHING, I definitely have ADHD" and "I'm just lazy, I am making excuses for myself, I just need to try harder". I'd like to say that being formally diagnosed put an end to this but it hasn't entirely (all the negative reporting around 'anyone can get an ADHD diagnosis' hasn't helped this a great deal).

Understanding hyperfocus helped me a lot with understanding myself.

Not everyone gets side effects. For example there's a lot of chat about sleep problems - I'm lucky enough that it's improved my sleep overall, because my anxiety is reduced so I'm not lying awake panicking constantly.

Plus the evidence for the efficacy of ADHD medication (simulant types)is actually stronger than that for anti depressants and many other medications. They're some of the most studied medications. So that's a bit unfair to write it off based on those ideas.

As previous posters mentioned, it can help to give you some better functionality to try and get those routines, systems and workarounds in place, it's not necessarily forever for everyone.

There's also the idea that when when we're older our brains still have neuroplasticity and can potentially change with the help of the medication.

TBH I'm still a bit of a shitshow with or without the medication, I find it really hard to get great ideas in place and build new routines before I forget the thing. My biggest gripe is that ADHD medication is designed and prescribed around maybe 8 or 10 hours of your day, just enough to survive work or school. I don't want to have to choose between being functional enough to keep a job and sorting my shit outside work so I don't let people down. :/

I have heard DBT rather than CBT recommended for ADHD, might be worth looking into. 👍

Even if we say let’s forget the side effects and the downsides of not taking insulin vs stimulants (death vs distress) there are many medical conditions that make stimulants impossible. My ADHD is really problematic, I even had to leave university - that level of dysfunction. However, when the psychiatrist tried to TELL my cardiologist he was putting me on stimulants it didn’t go down well….and I didn’t end up on stimulants. In the words of the cardiologist “I don’t tend to find that solutions with a high chance of death are particularly suitable treatment options”

I don't think I would have been diagnosed unless I already had a really good understanding of ADHD and how it can present in high-functioning women and girls. My school reports were not full of red flags by any stretch.