Mother's Day dilemma

[sunlover1123]

It seems my partner has forgotten Mother's Day. He's mentioned that his brother might be coming over which in itself is fine but it's my first Mother's Day....

I feel like I constantly remind him of so many things, like he is another child....

AIBU for not mentioning it at all and then going off to the pub on my own early for a celebratory drink with baby?

I can't sadly be with my own mum as she lives away but I've seen her today and will send her some lovely flowers and a card to mark the occasion.

It's been a hard year and I'd like recognition for all the stuff I do to keep our family
Going...

Tell him you're busy that day

When he asks why, tell him it's your first Mother's Day and you've made plans as he clearly forgot

When is it?

Next Sunday...

How do you know he's forgotten? It's not until next week is it?

Tell him.

Make it clear you’d like a card/gift or lunch out etc. We’ve always set expectations and that way, no one has ever felt like they’ve been forgotten or ignored.

Hope you have a lovely day 💐

Would you not be better pointing it out to him & ask him to change the plans with his brother. He's probably just overlooked it.

If you want to do something to mark your first Mothers Day don't be a martyr. Give him the heads up now & plan a nice day for the 3 of you.

But if it's your first then your child is only a baby? I think that's fine. It is sooooo much more nicer and special when the kids are actually able to remember themselves and just make you things.

Don't mention it if you prefer. But don't be all huffy with him. Go to the pub on your own if you want but surely that's just, well not the point is it?

You've got loads of mothers days ahead of you.

Just be honest with him. Tell him to cancel his DB coming over and you're expecting him to get up with the baby, have a lie-in. You need to be clear on what you want.

Or yes just tell him

That’s called cutting your nose off to spite your face. If you want to do something that day tell him you’d like it to be just you three and for him to see his brother a different day. Ask him to plan something you’ll enjoy - book lunch, cook a nice lunch, whatever floats your boat - and that you’d like something from him to keep as reminder of your first Mother’s Day.

If he then can’t be arsed with any of it by all means be annoyed but be specific about what would mean something to you, set good traditions in place now, and don’t play silly games.

Can't see your life together lasting long if you refuse to communicate your needs OP! Tell him what you would like, then moan if he doesn't do it, but expecting him to mind read, is ridiculous and childish.

I don't understand this need for 'recognition'

What is it you are actually wanting?

The key to a good lasting relationship is communication. Sulking and expecting your partner to read your mind won't get you far.

This exactly what I was going to say. Don't ruin your first Mother's Day by trying to make some kind of point.

Just remind him of the event, and say that you'd really like to do something special.

Don't go down the road of game playing... just say to him that he does realise that it's mothers day and is his brother coming over so they can do something together with their Mum? only it's your 1st mothers day and was hoping he'd mark that in some way for you.

Oh goodness I'd completely forgotten the MN anguish over a manufactured day.

If Mother's Day is important to you then don't play silly games. Tell him it's important to you and you want to celebrate the occasion as a family. It would be nice if he thought of this on his own, but he genuinely may not have even registered it in his brain yet, especially if this is the first child for both of you. He's also not a mind reader, so instead of silently stewing and expecting to be disappointed, talk to him. Tell him what your expectations are.

Well get ready....this is the start of it....we have a week of pre angst and then weeks of moaning afterwards

Not to forget the actual day when active convos will be full of whinging

And if you're fine for his DB to come over, point out that it's upto your DH to do all of the cleaning and hosting.

He might have just not realised yet seeing as it's your first one. My DH didn't really think about it on my first one, his mum sadly passed away when he was younger so it's never really been something he's thought about, and he's hopeless with dates anyway. I was upset and he's never forgotten again!

Just tell him, he's had probably not realised its next weekend? If he does know it is next weekend and he's arranged plans anyway then tell him the day is important to you and you wanted to do something just the three of you?

Agree totally with this. Lie-ins are very precious with a baby so make sure this is asked for! Also explicitly state he is cooking dinner too.

"You haven't forgotten that it's Mother's Day DH? I'd appreciate the chance to lie in and be spoilt! Can do come the week after?"

Mother's Day used to be for DC to show their appreciation to their mother. It may not have occurred to him that while DC are too young to show appreciation he's supposed to do it instead.

He might be getting you a lovely card and gift and breakfast in bed. Not everyone does days out or lunches. The restaurants get packed out!