Big Hairy Beard

[Alpacasarefluffy]

My DH of five years (been together 14 years) has grown a great big long bushy beard and I absolutely hate it.
I hate the way it looks, I hate the way it feels and I hate how it gets food in it.

Dont get me wrong he takes care of the thing (it’s a very groomed beard) but I hate the thing. It makes his face look very hard and it feels disgusting when he kisses me. It also gets wet if we are waking out in the cold. He now gets really upset because I avoid kissing and being intimate which I feel bad about but I just had it.

Pre-DC I honestly would’ve considered divorce over it (sounds pathetic but I can’t imagine not being intimate forever).

However I truly do believe he should do what he wishes with his body. I’ve merely told him I’m not the biggest fan of it and he looks better without it. He however is truly attached to it (it’s the work of two years worth of growing and styling) and is saying he’ll never get rid of it.

How do I accept the damn thing? It’s just right there on his face? I know I’m awful but it’s just so hairy and covers up his face (which is a nice face!) but he looks quite hard and bit scary with it.

If dp told me I had to shave my pubes or pits or legs (I do shave my legs and pits in the summer), I'd tell him sod off.

I love a man with a beard looks manly very sexy.
Clean shaved yuk to boyish.

Although i do get beard rash if it touches my face but i dont care.

@K0OLA1D I'm assuming you keep your pubes covered most of the time and don't kiss with them. Your face is not the same as your pubes.
OP hasn't told him what to do but she's allowed not to like his big hairy beard and to let him know it affects the way she feels about him. Communication's a good thing.

Where have I said op shouldn't have an opinion pray tell?

I was responding to coffeemugs

Beards level up every man in the world. No man looks worse with a beard!

My OH looks deeply sexy with a beard. I’m not exaggerating that it gives me major fanny gallops. Sometimes he shaves it all off and it’s nice to see the difference for a while but within a couple of days I’m pining. There’s just something so masculine about a beard.

And it feels nice. Ahem.

Tell him, just tell him. Clearly, no skirting around it, just tell him.

Stick a merkin on your face at bedtime and see if he likes it.

Tell him to take up electric guitar and become a rock god. 🎸 😅

(Sensitive image warning for the pogonophobes!)

(Sorry, OP, no help, I know!)

I'm not a fan or beards especially long ones. Shirt trimmed I could probably tolerate. Luckily for me DH is clean shaven.

DH once tried to grow one years ago, but he said it made his chin feel uncomfortable, so he gave it up. He has enough hair on the rest of his body anyway. 😅

I always remember my uncle (no longer with us) having a big, bushy beard. His younger brother and sons were never tempted to follow suit.

I love a beard!

I appreciate a nice soft seat....

Are you seriously suggesting that having a beard makes all men equally attractive, yet none are less attractive than they are without a beard? In which case surely all men would grow these miracle beards especially the ugly buggars.

I don't understand the comparison to a man demanding a woman shave her leg hair. Legs aren't generally involved in kissing and aren't often in contact with a face. I wouldn't sign up to rub my face against DHs hairy legs.

I like small beards those caveman beards are horrible.

I concur.

Shame my DH is apparently twinned with OP's, however! 😩

have you thought about making friends with the beard?

@pickledandpuzzled, that did make me laugh. Picturing the OP trying to tempt it with dog chews and squeaky toys…

He puts his face near other body parts I mentioned which I don't shave though.

It's totally okay not to like it but never to dictate how they should look.. we hate it when men dictate how we look. But OP you seem sensible and just want to learn to love it. Could he soften it with conditioner somehow?

There's a reason why beard rhymes with weird.

Unless he's a cavemen or has a medical condition or scars that require a beard or even some kind of job (lumberjack) where a beard is necessary than I would absolutely not be able to stay with him.

It's dirty if unwashed. Any body part or body hair is. But if it is washed regularly then in terms of cleanliness, fine.
I can't speak for OPs aesthetic tastes as I quite like beards. Not ones with bits of egg or twigs in though.

Agree to embrace the growth... Let your pubes overgrow until David Bellamy would get lost in there.... See how he appreciates that.

I think I would be tempted to get out the family photos and moon over the beardless DH of old. Maybe a little overboard with the praising of how handsome, how smoooooth, how sexy he looked.
No mention of the beard at all . Just a few well-placed sighs.

I enjoy looking at beards of all description on men, I find them fascinating.
I also like beards on older men as my Dad had one so they remind me of him.

But no way do I want to be snogging a man with a beard -yuck. I guess the Dad thing probably explains why I don’t find them sexually attractive, but I just hate the physical sensation. DH had one for a while during lockdown so I gave it a go but we both agreed it wasn’t working.

It's not just about the cleanliness and feel of it etc, it's also that's a man looks completely different with a beard. OP might not have looked twice at the bloke if he'd had a beard when they first met. If a woman doesn't like beards then she's not likely to be eyeing up a man who has one.