Ex partner talking to new girlfriend in front of me

[Blueeiffel]

For some context, been together eight years, father of my son. I ended our cohabitating arrangement owing to his alcoholism and fact he didn't lift a finger to help with housework and made me anxious on a daily basis. House is mine, we're not married so he's on notice to get out (3 weeks hopefully will be gone). I've asked him not to speak to his girlfriend in the house, they go on for hours and I find it really disrespectful as I can hear them even when in another room, especially so since I don't want him under my roof. My anxiety levels are really high. AIBU in asking him to take his conversations with her outside my home? I'm quite triggered now by anything he does, so will be good to get opinions as for obvious reasons I'm struggling to be objective. Thanks

I think if you ask him not to do this, then you’re letting him know that it bothers you so he might do it more to try and get under your skin.

Ignore as best you can, and kick him out sooner if possible.

Honestly? YABU
Its none of your business who he speaks to in "his home", even if its just for another 3 weeks.

If it’s your house I’d just chuck him out. Can’t be bothered with this sort of song and dance.

It's her house!

Which is why i said him home, not his house.

He’s there solely at her good will and would do well to remember that

If you rented you wouldnt expect your landlord to dictate how you live your life int your home/their house.
It's the same thing

I’m not sure why it’s making you anxious but if it’s that bad just kick him out immediately? It’s your house.

Can you get him out earlier. He's being passive aggressive and trying to make you jealous

She should chuck him out now then, if she doesnt like his behaviour

Right, just ignore the opinions you dont like.
What is the point of yabu if you cant disagree with the op?

The problem is him living there, if it wasn't the talking to the girlfriend it would be something else. I wouldn't let him know it bothers you but I would suggest he can go and stay with her for the next 3 weeks as you're sick to death of the sight of him.

I'd grit your teeth and not say anything because he'll probably do it more if he thinks it's getting to you.

He can make himself at home elsewhere imo

Anxiety can't be used for endless excuses, he has every right to speak to her

Saying anything will only ensure he keeps doing it. What would you do then? If you’ve agreed he’s moving out in three weeks and you kick him out sooner because you don’t like him talking to his girlfriend that will just be framed as you be “crazy” and “jealous” or “controlling”. As hard as it is you just need to suck it up as best you can until he’s gone and you can finally relax again. Don’t give him the satisfaction of knowing he’s getting to you or you even care anymore.
Maybe find a distraction. Listen to music or podcast or audiobook.

In fact, I'd mention how lovely it is she never seems to get bored of the sound of his voice like you did.

I agree with pp, of he thinks you're bothered he will ramp it up even more as it seems rather performative and designed to make you jealous. Also any interest in his relationship is going to blur boundaries and make it look like you're still interested in him. You have been assertive and decisive and ended a relationship that would have brought you a great deal of misery. Grit your teeth, say nothing and keep your distance. You're nearly over the finish line, and soon you'll be free.

Do you have children together? If not I'd tell him in the morning that the agreement is off and he has to leave. It sounds as though he wouldn't be able to stay with her, otherwise he'd be there.

If you're allowing him to live there then sorry yabu.

I agree with this. I don't know this man obviously but if I am to take a guess, this would be mine

Do you mean he is on the phone to her all the time? Either get yourself an airhorn or a vuvuzela and let it off at regular intervals, or sit quite close to him and join in the conversation

Him: oh baby you're so cute, I can't wait to see you...
You: (loudly) oh remember when you used to say that to me, you used to say,I'm dying to see you - why have you changed the narrative, Dave?

At the very least, he'll go and have his stupid conversations in the garden...

Stop being your own worst enemy and kick the fucker right out the door. He can shack up with his new girlfriend. Why you still allow this loser to stay is beyond me.

@missmollygreen

He's there as a(s a unwanted)guest. He bloidy wouldn't be if he was behaving like this in MY house.

@Blueeiffel why are you continuing to let him stay.?? Why can't he move to family/friends? Shop doorway if he wants to be this disrespectful?