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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to invite folk to my wedding and not have sit down meal

79 replies

doublethetrouble · 25/03/2008 16:27

I got engaged on Sunday and have decided that I would rather have nice ring but other than that wedding on a shoe string budget. I can justify getting nice ring as its something I'll have forever and be able to pass onto my daughter but I can't justify paying a fortune on anything else and as such haven't told anyone we're engaged (as I can't be bothered getting pressured into something i can't afford. We plan just to get everyone together under false pretences and then get married and have a big party and buffet. Do you think its seems a bit tight not having sit down meal?. We won't be expecting wedding presents as noone will be aware we're gettig married and if we do use our childrens christening as an excuse to get everyone together we are going to stress we don't want presents and ask if folk really insist on giving something just make small donation to charity.

Thoughts and ideas appreciated please.

OP posts:

Original poster

doublethetrouble · 25/03/2008 16:29

Sorry about the bad english by the way I didn't read it back before posting!

OP posts:

TheArmadillo · 25/03/2008 16:29

Sounds lovely

You don't have to have anything you don't want ('cept the legal stuff ).

Stick to your guns and have what you want, what will make you happy and what is within your budget.

TheOldestCat · 25/03/2008 16:29

Nope - lovely idea. We had a buffet and everyone said how much they enjoyed it.

But to be honest, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. It's your wedding and it should be true to you and your intended (and that's all!)

Good luck with the planning.

Iota · 25/03/2008 16:30

it sounds great to me .

big weddings are a waste of money IMHO

bozza · 25/03/2008 16:30

Sounds reasonable to me. Someone will no doubt object though. But even if you did the big caboodle the same would apply.

sallystrawberry · 25/03/2008 16:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BrownSuga · 25/03/2008 16:30

My mum had a canape, standup do for hers. It was fine.

Another friend, said he'd been invited to a cocktail party at his friends house, everyone dressed up. Then partway through it the hosts disappeared, came out in wedding finery and got married. Surprise for everyone. He said it was the best wedding he'd been to, and what he would do when his time came.

No1ErmaBombeckfan · 25/03/2008 16:31

YANBU - it is your celebration and if the invitees are true friends, wouldn't be put out at all...

codhotbod · 25/03/2008 16:32

well do you really need such an expensive ring?

CoteDAzur · 25/03/2008 16:32

Sounds great. Just have some chairs on the side anyway for the elderly.

jetgirl · 25/03/2008 16:32

That sounds lovely, I love the idea of your guests not knowing that they're coming to a wedding, what a brilliant surprise for them!

collision · 25/03/2008 16:32

Brilliant idea!

Chequers · 25/03/2008 16:34

Message withdrawn

Charlster77 · 25/03/2008 16:35

I think that if you WANT to go down the surpise route, do it. But, if you are only doing that so as not to feel pressured, you should have a re-think. It is your wedding and it seems a bit of a shame not to enjoy the excitement in the run up to the big day. If you want to get married and have no food at all, let alone a buffet, that is your perogative! Its your day and you should do it however you want. No one will have a problem with that and anyone who does, shouldn't really be considered as a friend!

FourPlusOne · 25/03/2008 16:35

Sounds lovely. Wish I hadn't told people and had just had a 'surprise' wedding for just the family. The more people who know about it the more out of hand it gets! I kept mine quite small and low key, but my parents kept pushing for more and more and it ended up being a bit more of a 'thing' than I really wanted. We did the charity gifts too.

EffiePerine · 25/03/2008 16:35

Buffet sounds great . I prefer informal food to big sit-down affairs anyway - no worrying about table plans and all that guff.

mylittlepudding · 25/03/2008 16:36

Sounds great.

And many many congratulations!!! I hope you have a wonderful day.

Agree that someone always moans. Usually the same someone

Chequers · 25/03/2008 16:37

Message withdrawn

FluffyMummy123 · 25/03/2008 16:37

Message withdrawn

GreatAuntieWurly · 25/03/2008 16:37

we opted for a buffet at our wedding rather then a sit down meal.

FluffyMummy123 · 25/03/2008 16:38

Message withdrawn

Kewcumber · 25/03/2008 16:38

and it lets people sit where they want to

beansontoast · 25/03/2008 16:38

yeah, i think that is a great idea...if you do it though, dont feel you have to justify it to anyone...think and talk only in terms of 'party' and 'celebration' etc

FluffyMummy123 · 25/03/2008 16:39

Message withdrawn

EffiePerine · 25/03/2008 16:40

We had a buffet but tables so people could sit down and eat - people just sat where they wanted, much nicer. We didn't to go down the top table route anyway, as divorced families and new partners were a tad tricky. My family would have complained if they were asked to eat while standing up, hence the tables (epidemic of bad knees and dodgy ankles).

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