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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is this cheeky?

82 replies

Isthischeek · 01/03/2024 22:19

Acquaintance I don’t know very well but trying to become friendly with asked me to go to an activity today - just us two no one else. When I got there she told me she has a two vouchers which will expire Sunday so used them to buy ticket. No cost at all to her so basically free. I said she didn’t need to do that and I could have brought my own ticket she said I can just put the amount I would have paid in her bank account. I didn’t think much about it. Got home and she messaged me her bank details.

I’ve transferred the £31.50 into her account. She got the tickets free from work btw and has had them for 6 months, some I think she said she used up but didn’t use her last 2 which she did today. They expire Sunday. It’s an activity I would never had done but I messaged her last week to get lunch/dinner today as she’s been asking me to let her know some dates I’m free and she suggested this activity. No mention of vouchers at that time for context. I didn’t want to appear rude so just said sounds good.

Do you think this is cheeky or just makes sense?

OP posts:
betterangels · 01/03/2024 22:37

BeADinosaur · 01/03/2024 22:32

I said she didn’t need to do that and I could have brought my own ticket

You offered to pay for your ticket. She accepted. I don't see how you can now complain about her taking the money you offered to her.

Agree. This is on you. Why didn't you just say thank you?

CheshireCat1 · 01/03/2024 22:38

She sold you something that you didn’t want and would have no use for it herself if she didn’t sell it.

Original poster
Isthischeek · 01/03/2024 22:40

I work with her. Work offer many incentives for free at Xmas time. You can have vouchers such as free cinema tickets, restaurant money off etc. you have 3 months to use. I usually pass mine onto my DC as they use often.

when I got there I didn’t realise she paid using her voucher, I thought she paid with her own money that’s why I offered to pay her back. She told me then she had 2 vouchers left and it’s expiring Sunday (that part was accurate!).

OP posts:
Scaffoldingisugly · 01/03/2024 22:41

I would report her...

Original poster
Isthischeek · 01/03/2024 22:42

thank you for the replies. I’m going to give her the benefit of the doubt and think positive not jump to conclusions. If she didn’t have the voucher I would have paid anyway so I’m going to just clear it out of my head and not judge her.

OP posts:
Candleabra · 01/03/2024 22:44

She got the tickets, you thought she’d paid, and you naturally offered to pay for yours.
Later you found out they were free to her.
She is cheeky. Very much so.
At several points in this transaction she had the chance to say they were free - but she let you believe they were and accepted your money. So she has a free activity AND the full face value. Some people are just takers in life!

Toddlerteaplease · 01/03/2024 22:47

I'd have just said thanks. I'd have appreciated her using something like that on me.

Saz12 · 01/03/2024 22:48

I'd assume she'd invited me because she wanted to spend time wirh me... like op I would expect to pay for my ticket, not have her pay. But the ticket was going spare!

The nice/normal/non-grabby thing to do would be to invite friend, say "i've already got the ticket, how about you buy coffee afterwards?"

catscalledbeanz · 01/03/2024 22:49

Scaffoldingisugly · 01/03/2024 22:41

I would report her...

But what if she hasn't got nefarious intent but rather needs the money? There but for the grace of god and all that?

HoneyWogan · 01/03/2024 22:53

Picklestop · 01/03/2024 22:26

I am inclined to think she was cheeky, but you did say that she didn’t need to use her free about to expire ticket on you. I am not sure why you said that really.

But that's just something you say to be polite: "You don't need to use your ticket for me, I don't mind paying".

To which every non-CF person in this situation would reply "Oh, don't be silly - it didn't cost me anything and it expires today, so it's just nice that it can be enjoyed instead of going to waste".

FictionalCharacter · 01/03/2024 22:55

Isthischeek · 01/03/2024 22:26

i’m trying to see it from her point of view, I’m really trying as don’t want to judge too harshly! But could she have a point in doing this? Maybe she thought it would be a nice way to get to know each other and maybe she thought I would have paid anyway so she might as well use her voucher and I pay her instead?

Nope, she got the ticket free so you’re not paying her back for money she paid out. She’s basically made a profit out of you.

Tel12 · 01/03/2024 22:57

She's definitely not behaved in the way you would expect a potential friend to behave.

ChimneySweepLiverpool · 01/03/2024 23:02

That is very cheeky and would annoy me to be honest. Some people are like that but it's a trait I really dislike in people

Codlingmoths · 01/03/2024 23:02

user1492757084 · 01/03/2024 22:30

She sent them once she had access to them and only after you insisted that you would have preferred to have paid rather than take her free ticket.

There are some people who do not like to be beholden unto another and perhaps she now thinks you are one of those.

Edited

This- you basically said I’d rather pay! So she said ok.

PattySpringsteen · 01/03/2024 23:10

Isthischeek · 01/03/2024 22:42

thank you for the replies. I’m going to give her the benefit of the doubt and think positive not jump to conclusions. If she didn’t have the voucher I would have paid anyway so I’m going to just clear it out of my head and not judge her.

But she did have vouchers. Why would any decent person charge a work colleague for vouchers they got free from work? That’s bizarre and cheeky fucker behaviour. She’s profited from a friend and work colleague, that’s stingy and tight.

easylikeasundaymorn · 01/03/2024 23:12

Toddlerteaplease · 01/03/2024 22:47

I'd have just said thanks. I'd have appreciated her using something like that on me.

but she didn't really use them on OP because OP paid her money, so OP essentially bought her own ticket and colleague made a profit!

While I can sort of see her POV, exactly as you've explained it OP - she thought you were happy to go to and pay for this activity anyway, so in your mind the money was already spent, so what did it matter to you if it went to the [activity place] directly or to her, if anything it would be nicer for it to go to a friend than a big corporation - personally I can't imagine ever doing the same to someone, even if the tickets weren't going to expire, but particularly if they were!

But nice of you to give her the benefit of the doubt if she's otherwise a decent person.

PattySpringsteen · 01/03/2024 23:15

ChimneySweepLiverpool · 01/03/2024 23:02

That is very cheeky and would annoy me to be honest. Some people are like that but it's a trait I really dislike in people

I agree, I couldn’t be friends with someone like this.

wurlycurly · 01/03/2024 23:19

So cheeky!

pensione · 01/03/2024 23:43

She used you to offload a ticket she didn’t even pay for and to make money from you.

You have been warned of the type of person she is.. if you continue this ‘friendship’ , be prepared to be exploited.

Mothership4two · 01/03/2024 23:52

That's not how friends treat each other.

TraitorRoundTable · 01/03/2024 23:58

Wow it’s like she used you to launder the money from the voucher

shenandoahvalley · 02/03/2024 00:44

When people do this, their thought process is “I don’t want her to get something for free”, not “I don’t want to be out of pocket”.

It’s very telling because it speaks to how they see you, and whether you’re “disposable” to them (in that you’re not even worth £31.50, that she didn’t even have to pay out, to her).

SilverTay · 02/03/2024 00:52

I'd love to know how you got to the event. Please don't say you drove too!!

NoOrdinaryMorning · 02/03/2024 00:57

I cannot believe you sent the money!

2021x · 02/03/2024 01:19

My understanding is that you thought she had paid and offered to pay her. THEN she told you it was a voucher, but still sent the bank details. So you paid knowing she had vouchers but still expected payment for something that was free?

Bit weird she didnt say hey I have these vouchers for x that I have to use by Sunday are you free? Also did you know the cost of the ticket or did she charge you for 2?