To ask if you have ever grieved for someone who’s passed away who you have never met?

[Acapulco12]

It seems strange, I know. I don’t think this has ever happened to me before, but at the moment, I think I’m feeling all the usual stages of ‘grief’ for someone whose death I read about in the news and who I’ve never met. It’s very strange and unexpected. I just wondered if anyone else has ever had anything like that.

This strikes a chord with me because I initially read the OP and thought no I have never experienced this but actually both my parents lost a parent in childhood and their respective absences did cast a shadow - obviously life was very different financially and practically eg for both mum and dad, and that (poverty) does have knock-on effects, plus I just wish I could have known them. I have photos but I'd love to know what their voices sounded like, just sit and have a cup of tea with them in the kitchen like I did with my other grandparents, and I feel sad that there was so much potential life they missed out on including how our family has unfolded.

But even that isn't grief really, it's more wistful regret.

And the kind of "that's a shame" sadness I feel about eg musicians whose work I enjoyed is another notch down from that, for me. That isn't grief at all. I've felt actual mind bending heart gnawing grief on losing people I love and that is nothing like the same.

I certainly wouldn't feel grief about Navalny! Who doesn't even seem like a nice bloke.

@Acapulco12
I've just read the impact statements from Sarah's family within the Angioloni Inquiry.
They are utterly heartbreaking and so powerful.
There is no recovery from such evil.

Yes, I have. It was when I was in my early teens and the person who died was a famous person for whom I'd developed a very strong crush. I felt as though I knew him and I was utterly heartbroken and sort of fell apart when he died. I just couldn't process it in my mind. Nobody understood and I felt very alone. I had suicidal thoughts and felt as though I would never be happy again. It was about 2 years before the feelings of grief and loss subsided.

This will sound absolutely strange but JFK. I've read a lot about him over the years. I've just finished watching a documentary about him too & his death just really got to me.

I'm actually reading another book about him now & know when I get to the end I'll be hit again.

It's very odd I know but there was just something about him that I feel drawn to.

I agree @Noicant
Don't understand the upset and grief around celebrities who die like hundreds other people do every day. Feel sadness for adults who've died tragically, but the crimes against children is what I can never get over (and what has had a profound, lasting effect on my mental health). I rarely read the news anymore.

George Michael.

I never met him but I loved him, grew up with him, appreciated his talent and grieved him.💞

No. I think it’s just sadness. Like if you’ve been a fan of a singer, their music has been a soundtrack to important moments in your life so you feel a connection to them. It’s not the same as grief of someone you actually knew and had contact with though.

I have been upset and I would describe it as deep grief over the death of Freddie Mercury. Even now when I hear him sing I find it hard to believe because his voice sounds so alive. I have marked his anniversary and birthday and even though it's been 33 years I still can't not feel sad.
I have felt really sad about George Michael passing away too and The Queen passing really made me feel a deep loss and brought back memories of my grand parents . I think it was the end of an era feeling. And things haven't felt quite right since.
And when Nelson Mandela died I had to take the day off work. But again I think that was more to do with the end of an era feeling and the history of his life .
Dealing with the emotions of my biological father dieing has never come close to the loss of Freddie.
At the time I wasn't really upset about Princess Diana dieing but since Prince William had his kids I have felt really sad about the void she left in their lives and as the world carries on I have felt sad that she was no longer in it I think as I got to the age she was when she died and then the years I've had since and having time with the grandchildren it has made me feel sad for her but not a grief.

I think PPs nailed it when they said not necessarily grief, but great sadness and a feeling of loss.

I felt this with Robin Williams, David Bowie, Alan Rickman and Matthew Perry. I remember these men for giving me laughs and enjoyment, cheering me up when I’m down or having had family issues for many years.

I already know I’ll be incredibly upset when Julie Andrews goes.

The death of the Queen was something else entirely. I did feel sadness but also found that week very ‘heavy’.

No, never.

Sadness yes but not grief- more nostalgia maybe. Sue Townsend (the writer) - her death made me very sad, but I was partly just strongly reminded of being 10/11 and reading Adrian Mole for the first time. George Michael - also nostalgia but like ST the feeling of injustice that they died too young. Tony Benn, sadness for the loss of his voice and again nostalgia for being really young and seeing him speak.
so I think grief for famous people is more grief for our younger selves or for the loss of a certain time period maybe

Interesting….

Yes, my sons 20 something friend who killed himself 3 years ago. He sounded amazing, a kind gentle soul who everybody loved. It was my sons first loss and hit him hard. I can’t think about this boy and his family, and I do, frequently, without tears. The futility and tragedy haunts me.

Yes. John Peel and Terry Pratchett. Never met either of them, but they were a big part of my life's pleasures.

Terry especially, as I not only grieved for him but also his characters in his books. Sam Vimes is one of my favourite literary characters and I am still sad that I will never read another story with Sam Vimes in it.

I was incredibly moved by George Alagiah dying. I didn't watch him lots but when I came across him in various media, he always seemed genuinely charming, warm, kind and knowledgeable. He just made a very strong, positive inpression, I suppose. Watching newsreaders become emotional breaking the news of his death really touched me and everything I read just showed what a great loss he was. Had a much stronger reaction than I anticipated.

My mum's is Ayrton Senna. Sense of waste of a young life and - outside of racing- a kind man. It is incredibly sad but it surprised her how personally upset she felt.

I can't sleep when I see in the news about young babies and toddlers dieing.

Princess Diana and Robin Williams.

I understand exactly what you mean about George Alagiah. He sounded like a brilliant person and he was a very good journalist too. Although I didn’t grieve, I felt very sad when he died.

Yes, once - Helen McCrory. She was a beautiful soul, the fact she clearly had so much left to give to her art (especially theatre), and the fact she will miss her children growing up, that hit me hard. I saw her a few times and she was mesmerising. I miss seeing her on the stage.

Sad, sometimes angry, but not grief.

Jim Steinman and Meatloaf. Cried my heart out.

Yes, same! Alan Rickman was a total shock and I collapsed into tears in the city centre when I found out.

Sometimes i shed a tear when i hear a queen song, even now!

I've been moved by some celebrity deaths, usually because of their circumstances or what they represented.
These emotions however are completely different to the gut-punching grief I've felt & am feeling with the death of a loved one.

Robin Williams deeply saddened me as I was caring for my Mum who had Alzheimer's.
Watching the decline of my beautiful, clever mother, I can fully imagine his horror at receiving his diagnosis, knowing he was losing his brilliant mind & why he felt there was only one way out.

Matthew Perry's book upset me.
I identified with his 'unaccompanied minor' childhood in particular.
I remember thinking as I read it 'it's only a matter of time, there'll be no happy ending'.

Steve Wright caused a lot of reminiscing between me & my school friends. His afternoon show meant 'home time' - it was played on the school bus, we did our homework listening to him. His voice was the soundtrack of our teenage school days.

I think it’s probably because she’d always just been part of the country’s fabric. I am not even a royalist, particularly. I wouldn’t feel the same way when Charles dies, for example. Maybe it was just the end of a long era, or something.

Definitely not grief but I have felt sadness and shed a tear for some. Jonnie Irwin, Amy Winehouse, George Alagiah and Dave Myers.
I watched or listened to them all.
Children and animals being hurt in the news is the absolute worst though.