To ask if you have ever grieved for someone who’s passed away who you have never met?

[Acapulco12]

It seems strange, I know. I don’t think this has ever happened to me before, but at the moment, I think I’m feeling all the usual stages of ‘grief’ for someone whose death I read about in the news and who I’ve never met. It’s very strange and unexpected. I just wondered if anyone else has ever had anything like that.

Actual grief is horrific, so no, I’ve never grieved for a public figure who I’ve never met. I’ve felt sadness at some passing, but it’s absolutely not grief.

No, never. I did feel sad when the Queen passed away, not because of the Queen (although it was very sad for those who actually knew her as a person) but because she was the same age as my grandmother who passed away a long time ago. When the Queen died I felt like that was one more part of my grandmothers life gone too.

Yes. Two musicians. But I do think it's because both of them in some way I associated with the death of a family member I loved... so that played into it.
Obviously their music meant alot to me but I think the grieving reaction really came from the links to my relative.. because other celebrities I've greatly admired the work of have died and I've felt quite sad yeah, but I didn't grieve like I would for someone I actually knew... but for these two I did.

I felt both grief and also fury when Sarah Everard was abducted while walking to her home from MY neighbourhood.

I never met her, nor any of her friends. Different generation. But I still find myself tearing up whenever I pass along the major road from which she was taken.

Angry and sad about Nalvany. Had his faults but best chance of change Russia has had for years. Was devastated when Maria Colvin died. Followed her career from the start. Felt that I had lost a good one.

I have, over George Michael. I know it probably sounds dramatic but him and his music (including when with Andrew in Wham!) has been the ‘soundtrack to my life’. Not that his music was the only music I listened to. It’s probably a combination of nostalgia for years gone by and grief combined but it affected me for quite a while. I still tear up thinking about him.

I also got sad and cried when David Bowie and Prince died, for similar reasons but not as intense. And yes, when Matthew Perry died, I was very sad too.

I remembering feeling similar when Sarah Everard was murdered. It was a horrific crime. I’m so sorry it happened near where you lived too 🌺🌺

Grieved? No. Sometimes saddened by the death of one of the “great and the good” I may have admired or angered by the sudden or cruel death of a child or young person but never experienced grief for someone I’d never met.

The whole concept is bizarre. I vividly remember the collective madness over Diana’s death and being bemused and annoyed at one of my most hardhearted friends being hysterical while we watched the funeral on telly. It was interesting from a historical perspective but people’s reactions were insane - it was definitely like a contagion.

Extreme sadness, only for children who have died through neglect or abuse though I’ve never really felt much about adults, maybe a passing sadness for someone who’s died prematurely or in tragic circumstances but with children it lingers.

As you just said you are feeling upset by their death. And it's more by what he is meant to represent and what his death represents than him as an individual. Grief is what his family and friends are feeling.

Being saddened, even deeply saddened or affected, by the death of someone that you do not know is understandable within reason. I think we could all say that we have felt that at some point but grieving is totally different.

Not normally, some sadness for a few but Benjamin Zephaniah’s death really got to me. Wonderfully brave, kind, outspoken human.

Not sure I’d call it grief though.

Navalny was a very brave man. I feel anger in his case more than grief or sadness.

Two MNers. Met them both on here and exchanged contact details. Emailed and messaged for over 15yrs of parenting. Shared hundreds of messages, thoughts, good wishes. Sent photos and gave advice. Laughed. Cried.

I miss both women immensely. Memories of them pop up on FB regularly and it floors me every time to think I knew them but didn't iyswim.

I was very sad when Victoria Wood died and still feel sad when something pops up about her. It’s not grief though in my mind

Completely agree with this sentiment - thanks, Benmac 🌺

Mixed up in my emotion is that feeling that we’ve lost a good human being, with Alexei Navalny. I know he had some very questionable beliefs about immigrants and gay people, which is of course not at all acceptable, but is perhaps a result of the very conservative culture he grew up in, in Russia, and his relative privilege as a straight white man.

The main thing though is that I just feel rage at the fact that Navalny was killed for his resistance to Putin. I know millions of other people have been in that same terrible position of being killed for their beliefs over centuries and I’m sure it will carry on over the next few centuries. It is absolutely despicable though and really infuriates me.

I think I felt particularly connected with Navalny’s situation because of his incredible courage and also because he was a very public symbol of the resistance movement against Putin and he had a very high profile in recent years precisely because of Putin’s previous attempts to kill him.

In a podcast I listened to recently, a Russian journalist compared Navalny to Harry Potter. He said that Navalny’s survival of his assassination attempt with novichok againer all odds was like Harry Potter surviving Voldemort’s attempts to kill him. This really resonated with me. I think it explains why I feel grief at his death because once I’d heard that Navalny had survived that assassination attempt a couple of years ago, I think part of me just thought he was invincible. I know that sounds ridiculous and totally irrational. I felt a bit like that about the Queen - that she would live forever - but it was quite different when she died, I think, as she was very elderly and had lived a very privileged and probably quite enjoyable life.

I remember when George Alagiah died and I was very sad, as he’d always seemed like a very compassionate person and was also a fantastic journalist, who I remember watching on the news as long as I can remember. With his death, i felt very sad but I don’t think I felt grief, because he had been terminally ill for a long time and he was getting older, so his death was more expected but still very sad. I hope that last bit doesn’t sound callous 🌺

An online friend who I never met in person but spoke to a fair bit, absolutely
He committed suicide during lockdown amd quite a lot of us from our talkboard attended his funeral online. I was very sad that while I'd been able to help with some stuff, not enough.

Someone I'd had no personal interaction with? Not since Freddie Mercury when I was a teenager. I don't know them.

I was angry about Navalny, to be fair. Not sad per se, but definitely angry.

No,I've never grieved for someone I didn't personally know.

I do fell say for a lot of people who tragic circumstances or at a young age but it's more of empathy rather than enduring grief.

I don't understand how some people had grief re the Queen. Yes, fantastic & clever lady but she was 96. I don't know what people expected to happen.

I was surprised at how upset I was about Dave the Hairy Biker today.

I didn't know him and I have never met him but he seemed like such a lovely fella.

You can't grieve someone you didn't know, hadn't met (even if online or via written word) and has no direct connection with.

You can of course feel many other emotions, including sad, and the death can still represent a loss to you.

I've made lots of online friends via Facebook who I've never met and known for many years. We have been in the same groups and got to know each other well and when someone dies of course we are all upset, myself included.

Robin Williams

When the popular poster Catthiefkeith died there was a large outpouring of grief on here from people that had never met her. Or perhaps they were all being fake? 🤷🏼‍♀️

You've never met them in person but you've absolutely had a relationship & direct connection - that's very different & grief might be expected there.

I’m really sorry Murasaki ❤️🌺