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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To cancel date

10 replies

Zarahlovesthebeach · 29/02/2024 15:48

Met up with a man 3 daytime dates and one evening date.
The last time I saw him was two weeks ago nearly as I only get every other weekend free for evening dates and one day during the week. Anyway I'm due to see him tomorrow night... something seems off..I'm normally very right when it comes to my instincts and reading situations, however this man is confusing me a little.
His messaging has completely changed.He hasnt ignored me, just really blunt with replies. I also havent heard from him in 3 days now. He hasnt ignored the last msg just blunt answers really. This was Monday morning. I refuse to play games and I refuse to chase or double msg so I'm leaving it now. Out next date is planned for tomorrow evening, something feels wierd and off, my gut feeling is hes changed his mind about me, I havent gone with my gut feelings in the past and then given people the benefit of the doubt ( as I am Normally a really chilled out person) and I've been the one to get hurt.
Now for context, I do not expect someone to msg me all day every day... that's weird, I'm Independent, not at all needy, have a life outside of dating however you feel when something is off right? Anyway I'm thinking of just not going tomorrow night as I feel the minimal contact & effort is a complete turn off if I'm honest & its s child free evening, I could spend with a female friend... who I know wont mess me around or fuck me over! 😂
AIBU to cancel this date tomorrow night?

OP posts:
ZekeZeke · 29/02/2024 16:00

You need to let him know that you won't be there, don't stand him up, it's rude!

Idontjetwashthefucker · 29/02/2024 16:01

Yeah, don't just not turn up

DesignForLife01 · 29/02/2024 16:06

Yes call it off.

MixingPlaydough · 29/02/2024 16:10

Don't just not turn up that's crappy behaviour. Of course you're not unreasonable to want to cancel but at least tell him you're cancelling.

Zarahlovesthebeach · 29/02/2024 17:39

Thank you for your replies... I'm so glad you all agree with me. I've been trying so hard to stay and think positively but yeh hes just not that into me!
I'm going to cancel , just dont really know how to say it, any words of wisdom? .. I am very new to this

OP posts:
Zarahlovesthebeach · 29/02/2024 17:40

MixingPlaydough · 29/02/2024 16:10

Don't just not turn up that's crappy behaviour. Of course you're not unreasonable to want to cancel but at least tell him you're cancelling.

Thank you... yes I agree not turning up would definitely be very crappy behaviour, I will let him know , just trying to find the right thing to msg him right now

OP posts:
neverbeenskiing · 29/02/2024 17:43

Zarahlovesthebeach · 29/02/2024 17:39

Thank you for your replies... I'm so glad you all agree with me. I've been trying so hard to stay and think positively but yeh hes just not that into me!
I'm going to cancel , just dont really know how to say it, any words of wisdom? .. I am very new to this

I think that if you've no intention of seeing him again you might as well be honest and tell him the reason why. No point cobbling together some bullshit excuse.

Zarahlovesthebeach · 29/02/2024 17:52

neverbeenskiing · 29/02/2024 17:43

I think that if you've no intention of seeing him again you might as well be honest and tell him the reason why. No point cobbling together some bullshit excuse.

I agree, I did have every intention of seeing him again, I really liked him, however his recent distant & pulling back behaviour this week has changed my mind unfortunately 😔 I thought I'd wait till the end of today to see if he reached out, but he clearly isnt bothered so I am messaging him when I've sorted my son out and put him to bed

OP posts:
vincettenoir · 29/02/2024 17:56

If you're not keen to see again him that's all there is to it really.

I would go for something vague but honest like "it's been nice to get to know you but I think I'm after something else. All the best".

UpUpUpU · 29/02/2024 17:57

Hi date. I’ve not heard from you in a few days so have made other plans for tomorrow night.

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