To be annoyed that I’m the only one in the office?

[Nolarbear]

Woke up this morning at 4am and couldn’t get back to sleep because I had a banging headache. Thought to myself I really cba going into the office today but got to just get on with it. We are only in the office 2 days a week.

Got to the office and everyone else is working from home. I got in at 8 and by 9am I’m wondering where everyone is and I get a teams message from my manager saying himself and the others are WFH because they don’t feel great. I feel really annoyed that I made the effort to come in when I also don’t feel great, when the rest of them haven’t. How is it that every single member of the team can’t come in??

I know that my colleagues take the piss. They work from home over the slightest inconvenience. The slightest flurry of snow and they don’t come in even though the rest of us can get in and we live in the same place. Maybe it’s just me, I have only been here 6 months and I’m not used to such a relaxed team. In my old office you’re either well enough to work or you’re not. And if you WFH too many times or your reasons aren’t acceptable, manager would just simply say no. I do enjoy being part of a more relaxed team but I feel like I always make the effort to come in (it’s TWO days a week ffs) and the others can’t even get through one whole month without an excuse to wfh.

I feel like I should be more like them and be like well if this is the way it is then maybe i’ll do the same. But I frankly find it embarrassing calling in asking to work from home because I’ve got a bit of a cold or “sinus pressure” as one person said today. I get it if you’ve got a really bad cold and you can’t get out of bed. But my colleagues aren’t getting bed bounding illnesses at least once a month surely?! My colleague messaged me saying “why don’t you ask manager if you can leave as you’re the only one in the office? I would do” but again, I just find it wet and pathetic at my adult age asking if I can go home because I’m on my own. So what? It’s not like I can’t work on my own. I’d be on my own at home too. I just find it baffling.

The reason why it annoys me is because I always make the effort to come in and I just wonder why I bother if I don’t need to. Maybe I need to just relax and do what the rest of them do but I don’t actually want to take the piss!

Be more like them!

Just do what they do

You’re annoyed because you know you should have made the same decision that they did. Be annoyed at yourself and take a leaf out of their book

You’re just annoyed that you’ve been a martyr

If your managers aren't that bothered if you come in or not, then don't come in. Everyone else seems to have realised that nobody cares, so you might as well follow suit. I don't think you can blame your colleagues for simply doing something the company clearly must think is OK.

Get rid of the office, if nobody’s there it’s a total waste. And then it’s clear too.

Always a shame when self-imposed martyrdom has no audience.

To be honest, I'm getting fed up of colleagues who come into the office while not feeling well and then spreading it around everyone else when you have the ability to work from home 🤷‍♀️

Meh. What’s the point of being in the office if no-one else is? I would go home.

Much better if people feel unwell and wfh anyway.

Yes tbh I think you’re right. I’m annoyed at myself for constantly being a mug and coming in. Once, there was snow and the buses weren’t running bus Ubers were. So I got an Uber to work instead. Got into the office to find my colleague had posted “wfh today because the buses weren’t running” and I’d just spent money on an Uber to get in. Again, it’s my fault for just not saying I can’t get in. But I’m not used to it, in every single other place I’ve ever worked they would’ve told me to find another way to get in

wfh allows more people to work when they would struggle to get into the office (disability, caring responsibilities etc) so yes YABU to be annoyed that your colleagues are utilising this option.

I work in a similarly relaxed environment and I think it's great. I haven't had a cold for a year because every time someone has a cold they WFH instead of bringing it in and spreading it around to everyone. I don't have to worry if something goes wrong at home, car breaks down, daughter's sick or whatever, because my boss is very chill and happy for me to WFH or take a few hours off and work them back whenever. It's amazing. "The grind" is becoming a thing of the past and I for one am embracing it.

Why didn't you just stay home today if you have a headache? What would've been the benefit of all your colleagues coming in and snotting all over the place if they have colds? You're being a martyr and pissed off that no one else is. Seems a bit backwards. Lots of people would give their left arm to work somewhere laid back and flexible!

It’s not that though is it. I’ve got a headache because I didn’t sleep well. How is going in being a marty? I thought it was just normal? If everyone stayed off over the slightest thing no one would ever be in (which in my place, they’re not). Once when I had a cold my manager said to me “still come in. It’s just a cold, if anyone has a problem with it tell them to see me” so idk

I think you need to adapt to the culture in your new company, rather than get annoyed that its not the same culture as your previous companies. In my view neither approach (strict company vs relaxed company) is right or wrong, there's pros and cons to either culture.

Well your job obviously can be done from home so I don't see the problem with people working from home. Surely the policy of making people come in more than they need to is the issue rather than the staff.

This new company clearly has a more relaxed culture than other company and treats staff more like adults who can decide where they want to work. Why don't you take advantage of it rather than being bitter about what your colleagues are doing?

YABU

Im not sure why it’s so hard for you to understand different workplaces have different cultures.

Because they don’t have colds. They are off ALL THE TIME. They do not have colds every single month, I don’t buy it. The purpose in me coming in with a headache is because I get headaches when I don’t sleep well… and we just carry on surely? I have headaches a few times a week due to sleep problems. I can’t just ask to WFH every week. Wait actually, maybe I can. This is the problem I think I’m just not used to it. It’s been a shock to come into such a relaxed environment and it’s my own fault

Do what they do. I'm wfh today because I have a cold. No-one else wants it. Why on earth did you go into the office when you hadn't had enough sleep, have a headache, and you don't need to?

ETA - I've worked in an office that's relaxed about WFH for 15 years, so it's very normal to me. Pointless going in if you're just going to feel shit and infect everyone. We're hybrid post-Covid but previously I did one or two days WFH and always when I was ill.

Presumably you can do the job from home, and coming in is about being together as a team the other days?

Instead of being annoyed (or lame, like them!), is there a way the team could communicate before work starts if people intend to come in? Your manager could have let you know. I can see it’s annoying to turn up and then find out no one else has.

Tbh it’s made me feel better than most seem to say I am BU. Because I’ll think of this next time I have a headache or something to reassure myself it’s ok to call in.

I don’t mean to be some sort of hero. I just always cringe thinking my manager will think I’m taking the piss? Maybe I’ve just worked in awful places previously so it’s strange having to try and make myself realise that I CAN wfh over tiny things and everyone else does and it’s ok.

thanks everyone for the head wobble

dont get me wrong I DO wfh when I need to. When I’m actually unwell. I’m not unwell, I have a headache from not sleeping great but I have insomnia and have regular headaches from lack of sleep and I just have to get on with my life

But you can just carry on. From home. Like they do. They're still working! It's not like they've all phoned in sick. You could've worked from home today and that still would've been "carrying on". You seem to have the attitude that working from home is somehow lazy and "wet". Why? What actual difference does it make?

I see where you're coming from OP. You sound like you have a good work ethic, but the culture of your new workplace just takes some getting used to.

Many moons ago I moved from a job where attendance was strictly controlled - you had to raise your hand in order to go to the toilet, and breaks were strictly monitored - to a job where no one cared what you did as long as you got the job done. I remember thinking people being able to leave their desks whenever they wanted for a cup of tea was crazy! It took me quite a while to get used to it tbh. As others have said, take the lead from your colleagues 👍

It sorta sounds like you don't agree with people WFH, and you think less of them for doing so, like you are a better employee for being on site.

You know the culture of your work place, and yet you still went in today.

Well, you know what to do now. Do whatever you feel like but DON'T judge your colleagues for their decisions.

I'd be miffed - we were encouraged to go in on the same days as each other so that we could collaborate better with colleagues.

It's acknowledged that seeing people face-to-face has a value that only meeting by video call doesn't quite manage (though as a global company, there were still loads of those because it's many years since there was budget to travel to Amsterdam for an hours meeting.) It means you get the incidental conversations in the kitchen, "oh you're working on that project? Have you spoken to Dave? He's doing a similar thing in his department, you should share ideas."

One guy comes in most days because he finds the office easier to work in than home, a couple come in on gym days, others on the designated day only. That sort of flexibility seems to work.