To be annoyed that I’m the only one in the office?

[Nolarbear]

Woke up this morning at 4am and couldn’t get back to sleep because I had a banging headache. Thought to myself I really cba going into the office today but got to just get on with it. We are only in the office 2 days a week.

Got to the office and everyone else is working from home. I got in at 8 and by 9am I’m wondering where everyone is and I get a teams message from my manager saying himself and the others are WFH because they don’t feel great. I feel really annoyed that I made the effort to come in when I also don’t feel great, when the rest of them haven’t. How is it that every single member of the team can’t come in??

I know that my colleagues take the piss. They work from home over the slightest inconvenience. The slightest flurry of snow and they don’t come in even though the rest of us can get in and we live in the same place. Maybe it’s just me, I have only been here 6 months and I’m not used to such a relaxed team. In my old office you’re either well enough to work or you’re not. And if you WFH too many times or your reasons aren’t acceptable, manager would just simply say no. I do enjoy being part of a more relaxed team but I feel like I always make the effort to come in (it’s TWO days a week ffs) and the others can’t even get through one whole month without an excuse to wfh.

I feel like I should be more like them and be like well if this is the way it is then maybe i’ll do the same. But I frankly find it embarrassing calling in asking to work from home because I’ve got a bit of a cold or “sinus pressure” as one person said today. I get it if you’ve got a really bad cold and you can’t get out of bed. But my colleagues aren’t getting bed bounding illnesses at least once a month surely?! My colleague messaged me saying “why don’t you ask manager if you can leave as you’re the only one in the office? I would do” but again, I just find it wet and pathetic at my adult age asking if I can go home because I’m on my own. So what? It’s not like I can’t work on my own. I’d be on my own at home too. I just find it baffling.

The reason why it annoys me is because I always make the effort to come in and I just wonder why I bother if I don’t need to. Maybe I need to just relax and do what the rest of them do but I don’t actually want to take the piss!

I think your office culture sounds great. It’s awful when people are expected to go in when they’re not well. Even a lack of sleep, if you drive into work, could have very dangerous consequences. I used to worry so much about my DH, who suffered from insomnia, being forced to do a long commute on no sleep, because his boss didn’t see insomnia as a good excuse to WFH.

You have no idea about their health its so grim when people police others health. I have a cold every other week thanks to my kida, but I couldn't possibly according to you? They're not OFF all the time are they? They're just working from home, which your organisation clearly doesn't have an issue with. It's been 6 months, I'm surprised you've not worked this out yet tbh. It's a bit worrying, have you been this slow picking up other aspects of your job? You seem more pissed off about the fact your colleagues don't value Presenteeism as much as you do.

Ive always worked in retail. This WFH sounds amazing. I'm off sick today cos loads of people at work have this awful virus. I guess if we could WFH it wouldn't spread so easily!

Op, relax and do as they do.

You want them to breathe their germs all over you?

I agree that if there are set days to go in, people should. But the new idea that you don’t have to cough over everyone to prove how dedicated you are is a good one.

YABU

If WFH is accepted in your company and the managers have no objection, you have no right to be annoyed with the colleagues who do it. I work remotely full time and I've never been so productive. It's not your colleagues 's fault that you felt obliged to go to the office with a headache. You would have probably been much more productive if you had stayed at home, and not added the extra stress of travelling

No no I don’t think this at all! I love wfh and think it’s amazing that we have that option for when we aren’t well etc. I don’t think anyone should come in when they aren’t feeling well. And frankly, it’s none of my business.

I was just feeling annoyed this morning because it happens so frequently. But really I hold my hands up and say that is on me and I was really just annoyed at myself.

I think my post has been a bit misconstrued. Which is fair enough because I did waffle on a bit.

I don’t expect ANYONE to come in when they’re not well. I absolutely do not have an issue with WFH, I love it! And I ask to work from home myself when I’m not well. I think if people are too unwell to travel in but can manage the work from home and they want to, they should.

my issue was that a couple of my colleagues do this every single month. There’s so way that they are so ill every month. That’s why I’m saying I feel like they take the piss. Because who gets a cold every month? They need to go to the doctors if that is the case. Some people have health issues which is completely understandable but my colleagues come in saying “yeah I feel fine now, just had a bit of a scratchy throat” and then do the same thing a few weeks later. Is this not taking the piss? I mean it’s none of my business anyway, if I read this post made my someone else I’d probably vote YABU because I know that I am. I’m not the manager so I shouldn’t care. I hold my hands up for this one

You have to meld yourself to the culture of the workplace. In my industry, wfh has long been the norm. I've been doing it regularly at least since 2009! And in fact, in every role I've been in since 2016 it's been built into my contract as I live a long way (3 hours) from the office (different offices, but they're all generally in/around London, and I am not). I don't think you need to be in the office to be productive, though I do think, if you aren't feeling well enough to come in, the solution is to take sick leave, not wfh (because really, doesn't that just mean, taking the day off, but I'm home so no one will notice I'm not working?). But if your team often has impromptu wfh days, then plan some in yourself - unless you like being in the office more (me personally, I prefer to be in the office, but logistically, it's not possible).

But honestly, I don't think you can take an issue with people being ill - people truly are ill at least once a month at the moment. Everyone around me has been falling like flies, with COVID, the (actual) flu, half my dc's school is out with scarlet fever at the moment, vomiting bugs, etc.

I think people think I have a problem with WFH and I don’t. I’m saying we are contracted to work in the office two days a week, but people ask to WFH more than this over little things. I’m not saying people can’t WFH if they are unwell. They absolutely should! But calling asking to WFH every few weeks because you have a scratchy throat or you have ear ache or you can feel a bit of a cough coming on seems a bit like taking the piss to me. How do people catch colds every single month?

But I admit that I am in the wrong here. I was actually just angry at myself this morning. It’s not their fault I didn’t call in. My manager is very laid back and I need to just get it out of my mindset that he’s going to call me into a meeting if I call in sick (like my old place would). When you’ve worked in a certain culture for 20 years it’s hard for me to not get the fear when calling in sick. But again, that’s my own problem, no one else’s. So I admit I have been unreasonable here. Thank you for the replies ☺️

No I’ve not been this slow picking other things up thankfully. It’s just this one thing that I need to understand. I get that people have health issues, I have endometriosis and insomnia too so most of the time I feel like shit. I get that. But they tell us what’s wrong with them… they literally come back in saying “yeah I’m ok now thanks, just had a little pressure in my sinuses” and I understand that if they feel like they can’t come in because of that then that’s fine, it’s not for me to say. I do agree with you tbh I was unreasonable. I feel bad now because I actually really love my colleagues, I was just angry at myself this morning and misdirecting my anger

You shouldn't WFH when you're unwell OP you should just be off work- thats not what WFH is for.

I understand you feel miffed but you do sound like a bit of martyr.

I understand your perspective. If there's a rule about working I'll abide by it and only push back for substantial reasons rather than niggles. I'm hard wired to be a rule follower - sounds like you might be the same.

When we were mandated via our contracts to be in the office a certain number of days I'd get really stressed about not turning up for whatever reasonable thing had cropped up, and weirdly more stressed when other people 'got away' with not turning up for trivial reasons. Never an issue from my manager, this was all on me.

It's a mindset thing that you can't shift. Having the 2 days a week in your contract is skewing your perception on what your company does in practice for the working in the office/working from home balance.

Speak with your manager about contract vs working practice. It could well be that the contract thing is insurance just in case they really want bums on seats for a specific reason - or a generalised contract term that applies differently depending on your role/team/managerial discretion.

That way you can come to a working agreement on how you and the team are expected to manage office time...including if no one is going to show up sending out a message before people start commuting so they can make a decision about whether they want to commute to an empty office or not.

You’re still conflating two things, though, OP. You’re saying you’re worrying about ‘calling in sick’. That’s when you call in to say you won’t be working. Calling to say you’re working from home, whether or not it’s because you’re unwell, is not the same as saying you’re not working! Just that you’re working from somewhere else. You’re still working! Where I am people work from home because they’ve got a plumber coming, or need to go to the solicitor’s office at lunchtime, or are having a shed delivered, or need to go to the dentist during the day. Working from home = working. Not sick leave. Not something a manager would care about, because the job is still being done.

Free yourself from this fear. WFH is good for everyone - employees are more willing to be flexible for their employer and maybe do an extra half hour to get something done on time rather than having to dash out to get a train home before a job is complete. Employers get fewer illnesses sweeping through the workplace and reducing attendance and productivity because people can WFH if under the weather and feel too shitty to commute, but well enough to get some work done - whereas they’d just be off sick if they had to be in an office. You’re being treated like an adult. Enjoy it!

Yes this is exactly how I feel. I’m not being like this to be a martyr like a few people have said, it comes from worrying about what my manager will think/say and the rules. I feel unwell a lot but it’s not due to being contagious or actually sick. It’s from lack of sleep or my endo pains or something. But I try to save my sick days or asking for extra WFH days for when I actually really need them. So I HAVE to make myself go in with a headache etc otherwise I would never be in the office and then when I actually have a stinking cold and really need the time at home I would feel like I’ve already worked from home too much and have to force myself in. So I spend time worrying about it, only to find that other people do it and I’ve gone to the effort of coming in all the time when I feel like shit.

It’s just part of my life, I have to get on with it. It’s not to be a martyr it’s just to live and hold down a job. BUT I do hold my hands up and understand that I am being totally unreasonable. It’s not anyone else’s issue that I worry about these things or go in with headaches etc. that’s my own problem and has nothing to do with them. It was misdirected anger when really I was just annoyed at myself/the situation

People with colds should wfh if that is available. It’s official policy in my workplace. No one is allowed in the building if they are sick with something contagious.

You can only be annoyed with yourself! There is no way - unless there was a big meeting or event I was expected at - I would go into work if I'd woken at 4am with a headache and couldn't get back to sleep. If you choose to be a martyr, then don't be annoyed with those that aren't!

That's good. It's quite clear what the working culture in your organisation is, so going forward just adhere to that. Work remotely when you want to, it's evidently fine.

I think this is about work culture… and your management are possibly setting themselves up for trouble if it gets so bad that there is hardly anyone in the office when there should be, and they have to rein everything back in a few months down the line.

Meanwhile you have the opportunity to stand out here as the one who sticks to the contract and can be relied on.

Well at least you’ve got the chance to get loads of work done in peace, eh OP?

My new job states 40% of the time in the office. It’s 200 miles away so I’m paying for hotels and the number of times I’m the only one there is a joke. One person does 2 days a month. So I’m not doing it anymore.

Just go home and embrace the culture.

Having a good work ethic doesn’t make you a martyr.

I’ve had this happen to me too.

I love much further than my colleagues 45 minute train journey. One day I got to work about 30-40 minutes later than normal because the trains were delayed and I was really stressed getting there because it was our team “anchor day” so all the team was expected to be in.

I arrived and got a WhatsApp from a team member saying they couldn’t make it in… followed by the rest of the team saying “me too can’t make it today” I was so annoyed as I travel the furtherest out of the whole team. So I spent the day in the office with no team around me… pretty pointless me being there.

That's just ridiculous though isn't it. If you use public transport to get to work and it wasn't running but the option to wfh was available I would say most people would wfh.

Use your lunch break to go home.