To be annoyed that I’m the only one in the office?

[Nolarbear]

Woke up this morning at 4am and couldn’t get back to sleep because I had a banging headache. Thought to myself I really cba going into the office today but got to just get on with it. We are only in the office 2 days a week.

Got to the office and everyone else is working from home. I got in at 8 and by 9am I’m wondering where everyone is and I get a teams message from my manager saying himself and the others are WFH because they don’t feel great. I feel really annoyed that I made the effort to come in when I also don’t feel great, when the rest of them haven’t. How is it that every single member of the team can’t come in??

I know that my colleagues take the piss. They work from home over the slightest inconvenience. The slightest flurry of snow and they don’t come in even though the rest of us can get in and we live in the same place. Maybe it’s just me, I have only been here 6 months and I’m not used to such a relaxed team. In my old office you’re either well enough to work or you’re not. And if you WFH too many times or your reasons aren’t acceptable, manager would just simply say no. I do enjoy being part of a more relaxed team but I feel like I always make the effort to come in (it’s TWO days a week ffs) and the others can’t even get through one whole month without an excuse to wfh.

I feel like I should be more like them and be like well if this is the way it is then maybe i’ll do the same. But I frankly find it embarrassing calling in asking to work from home because I’ve got a bit of a cold or “sinus pressure” as one person said today. I get it if you’ve got a really bad cold and you can’t get out of bed. But my colleagues aren’t getting bed bounding illnesses at least once a month surely?! My colleague messaged me saying “why don’t you ask manager if you can leave as you’re the only one in the office? I would do” but again, I just find it wet and pathetic at my adult age asking if I can go home because I’m on my own. So what? It’s not like I can’t work on my own. I’d be on my own at home too. I just find it baffling.

The reason why it annoys me is because I always make the effort to come in and I just wonder why I bother if I don’t need to. Maybe I need to just relax and do what the rest of them do but I don’t actually want to take the piss!

You are new to the job and want to do your best which is good.I think in future just do what they all do ,you are unlikely to get into trouble if everyone else is doing likewise

Play the game OP. Leave now and go home, go to the shops, have a long lunch, chip off an hour early, play Candy Crush, browse ASOS, literally the others don’t give a F, you should do the same.

Just leave and go home. You're an adult, use your autonomy.

I can understand how you feel, I have complete flexibility in my role , I can choose to work from home, in the office or hybrid. This flexible working was put in place during covid , prior to this everyone was expected to be in the office but could WFH occasionally.

Our manager has tried to get people back in to the office more, suggesting one day a week to increase collaboration, especially as we have a new member of staff who has come in from external and needs help with training. I have made an effort to go in every week and I still do, but there is barely anyone else who goes in now. It's just much easier to WFH, and I am genuinely more productive at home.

Could you not find out who is going into the office the next day before deciding if to go in. We use Teams at work, and someone normally says if they are heading into the office should anyone wants to join. If i was you i would just embrace what everyone is doing and enjoy the flexibility.

I wfh but I go in twice a month.

I get different things from working in the office than I do at home… I get to know colleagues I don’t normally work with, I strengthen my relationships with my team. I don’t actually get much ‘done’ in terms of paperwork etc, but it’s still very much part of my overall productivity.

I would be very annoyed to schlep in to the office on one of those days to discover no-one was there!

But that’s not what her colleagues are doing. They are working from home. Working. Same work, same need to produce results, just a different location.

I don’t understand why people still don’t get this.

Presenteeism was a very strong force for a very long time. Some people will never let it go.

It’s not supposed to be that flexible though. We HAVE to go in on Mondays and Thursdays. It’s not optional. It’s just that a certain two people find excuses not to come in almost every single week. I was on a teams call with one of them earlier and he was fine. I asked him if he’s ok and he said he’s alright he just has a bit of sinus pressure and doesn’t want to be in the office in case it develops into a cold. To me this IS taking the piss because it happens SO frequently. It’s not just now and again. I spend money and time getting to and from work, following the rules that I agreed to when I signed the contract, and it’s annoying when people are allowed to take the piss. why should I make the effort to come in?? We hardly EVER have a full team in on office days. I can’t remember the last time we had a full team in. And it’s been noticed and commented on by my managers boss.

If you had planned to have a conversation that is better face to face, then I can understand being annoyed. However, use it as a reason to work from home more in future.

Anyone who wants an office should have access to one if working from home is difficult for some reason, but there should not be presenteeism. Most people outside London and a few other places travel to and from work in a car, and so more wfh can be a step to reducing carbon emissions.

?? I did leave and go home

Just take ownership. I have a couple of young kids, it’s not unusual for me to message my manager if I don’t need to be in saying ‘DC had me up half the night so going to WFH’. She’s never had an issue with it. I deliver a great job so why should she care where I do it from? Judge yourself on results. It sounds like you’re infantilising yourself, do you ask to go to the loo at work?

Given the higher ups are commenting on it negatively, this seems more like weak management than a relaxed company culture. If the managers want the rule followed, it's their job to enforce it. Is it part of a wider pattern of weak management?

So ‘everyone’ is actually 2 people?!

My workplace is similarly slack on the supposed requirement for hybrid office work I dislike it. Reasons: it’s crap being in the office with only v few people; too many people are taking the piss and only very rarely or even never coming in; and IMO some of the ones who’r never in and the team overall isn’t doing a very good job.

little I can do about it so I wfh if feel like it.

Yeah we are only a team of 4 haha. One of those people only works in the office 1 day as she is part time. And then it’s the other two that are always at home on office days

There's no point in making yourself miserable by getting wound up over what others choose to do.

You can only change your own behaviour, not theirs.

But do you say “the little ones have had me up all night” 4 times out of 8 a month? Even if you do, this is understandable as you have young kids. As I mentioned in an earlier post, one of their reasons for not coming in a few weeks ago was because their water wasn’t running so they couldn’t brush their teeth. Then a week later it was because of something else. Two weeks later something else. All daft reasons tbh. We actually aren’t allowed to do this, which is why I don’t. My manager is just very laid back but his boss is noticing and commenting on it which is why I feel like I need to go in if I have a little headache. It’s just a headache! A couple of paracetamol sorted it out.

and you say “if I don’t need to be in” but we do need to be in. We have to be in the office two days a week as per the contract. These are the days we have our team meetings and things.

I would say infantilising myself would be saying I can’t go to the office because I have a headache. It’s not a migraine, I’m not sick. It’s a bloody headache, as an adult you just get on with things surely?! I ended up going home in the afternoon on my lunch break

Until you factor in them all hearing their homes rather than one office (which is still being heated for fewer people).

I absolutely love coming into the office on days that everyone else is WFH. I get so much done. No home distractions and no colleagues!

Are you ND op?

If your whole team, plus the manager, are WFH then why are you being a martyr? Forget what the contract says, the culture says differently. If suddenly manager or someone above them starts to take issue with it then the whole team will be made to come in as per contract. Until then do as everyone else does.

I can’t understand the post about paying for an Uber when it was snowing. Why would you make yourself out of pocket on a day when you can bet your butt no one would make it in?

And I really don’t mean this in a horrible way, but it sounds like you are just an employee. Unless you’re a director or CEO, you aren’t important enough to be out of pocket for a company that would replace you within weeks. “Act your wage” as they say. You’ll be much happier and less annoyed by those around you if you do.

The work from home because you have mild cold symptoms makes sense. Don't spread the germs around. The headache isn't contagious, so that's a little different.

The any excuse thing is annoying, though. In such a small team it defeats the purpose of working from the office if people don't stick to it.

I was thinking the same, fair enough to enjoy going into the office yourself and wishing your office culture was perhaps different so you could enjoy face to face team work.

But to not understand, why people simply are different and have different preferences and be "baffled" by it so much is..........baffling.

@SeemsSoUnfair OP has a workplace that has clear expectations about office days. It's a team of 3 on half the office days, and 2 aren't turning up. Management is commenting on the lack of attendance. It actually puts OP in a pretty tricky position.

It sounds like this culture isn't a office - wide thing, it's just OP's immediate team. And it's starting to be noticed. There is the possibility of repercussions that affect OP. I think the frustration is reasonable!

WFH is just part of normal life now surely? As long as everyone does their work, does it matter where they do it? Don't go in if nobody else does.