To wonder if he was trying to hint to me last night

[Ifyoubelieve]

I've liked a colleague for quite a few weeks, we get on really well and I thought there was a mutual attraction. I took the plunge and asked him for a coffee yesterday, and we got on great.
We got into past relationship history and he started talking about how he 'keeps it outside of work now ' because of past experiences, and doesn't get involved with colleagues anymore.
Not heard from him today. I guess that was his polite way of saying he isn't interested? I need to just move on.
I've never seen him dating anyone from our workplace but there are more men than women.

I'm so bad at misreading signals :/

He doesn't get involved with colleagues. You're his colleague. That's not a signal or a hint it's a statement.

He's told you he's not interested

True, but I never told him I was interested or said we should date, or even raised the subject. He just came out with this of his own accord.
He probably accepted the coffee to be polite.

I did feel a little awkward whilst he was saying it, I was just kinda sitting there like hmmm ok?

He knew you were interested and that's why he's turned you down gently before you even said anything.

Ask him if he's got any nice single mates instead.

True, though he accepted the coffee, he could've just said no? When I asked for the coffee he said he'd love to. I don't get why he accepted it just to come and tell me he's not interested in me?

Stay well clear. He has stated very clearly that what you want is not going to happen.

If he was interested, you would know it.

Don't be desperate - you'll regret it.

He'll know. Only 7% of communication is verbal.

Work relationships are dodgy ground.

Just tell him you only wanted friendship if you want to save face. Or just don't worry about it and put it down to experience.

Oh don't worry I will be. It's probably just an excuse anyway.

I can't even remember what I said when he told me, just something like I would in certain circumstances, not in others.
I'm sure it's for the best.
I hope I wasn't too obvious :/ that said I have seen him looking at me several times, I honestly thought he might've liked me?

I'm not desperate 😂 I'm not asking him again

He either didn’t realise you were interested when you asked him for a coffee or else thought going along and making it clear he wasn’t interested in a less blunt conversation was the best option.

At least you now know.

You were quite right to take the initiative and ask him for a coffee. Unfortunately I think he’s let you know gently that he’s not interested. So now, having gained this information, you know where you stand and can move on, with no loss of friendship or face x

So you believe it's an excuse?
The coffee was ambiguous, it could've been either tbh. I tried to say it very casually.

Because in a mixed working environment you don't have to have coffee only with people of your own sex?

It could be a load of BS for all I know, I just can't believe I misread the signs. I thought I was good at telling if someone was interested.

In the event that he is interested the ball is firmly in his court now. You’ve done all you can.

I think it was quite nice of him actually. He said yes to a coffee to you face so you didn't feel rejected or humiliated.

He went for the coffee and told you politely, to save you both any further awkwardness, that he doesn't date colleagues.

I can see why you like him. He sounds like a nice person.

True, I will be steering clear now 😂

Are you the same poster who keeps repetitively asking this?! Very familiar same last threads…

It was via messages, I obviously mistook him talking to me lots as being interested, he genuinely seemed keen and as I say I saw him looking at me a lot. Ahh well.

No I haven't posted before? We just went out last night

Why would he need an excuse? He isn't due you a relationship.

You really do sound like another poster who keeps posting about a colleague looking at her etc.

Bit gutted but ahh well, hopefully there'll be someone else.