Security guard following me

[ColourMeBlue]

I am probably overthinking this, but here goes-i have shopped at my local supermarket for 20 years.Everytime there is a new security guard,I get followed.Without fail .Yesterday there was a new security guard.As soon as I walked in,she walked passed me and brushed into my arm.I imagine this was for me to make sure she had clocked me.When I paid she walked down to the till and stood at the end of the till glaring,and I mean GLARING at me.It was enough to put me off what I was doing.I know everyone will say if you are not shoplifting you have nothing to worry about,but that doesn't warrant me being followed every single time.What would others do?say something?leave it go?email a complaint?I'm so annoyed and a little upset today.She really was intimating.

This even more would cement the idea i need to understand why - and i'd simply ask - when i turned round to grab a lettuce and a security guard was stood there - Oh can i help you?, and then when i turned round to grab sausages and saw them again - Oh hello - is there any reason you're hanging on my shoulder? Can i help you with anything? Why are you following me?

Maybe have some fun with it, keep asking them for advice. When you feel their presence turn round and ask them which milk / shampoo/ toilet roll they recommend. Say your back is sore and would they mind carrying the basket/ pushing the trolley to make themselves useful. Or take the boring option and pop in sometime and ask to speak to the manager.

Knew it would be, the Aldi's I go round to here are all the same, they used to just stand near the entrance, must have been a communication to go round all Aldi's saying to up their game, meanwhile the habitual shoplifters probably still go in an get away with it because the security is busy following around other people..

Are you very aware of your surroundings normally, OP? I have been followed in shops too, and I think it's because I am always very conscious of what's around me and I think maybe that makes me appear shifty. I could never go into a shop and not notice the security guards, for example. It'd be lovely to be able to switch off like some of the PPs, but there you go. It's how I am.

I'd have to ask them if there was a problem.

My partner gets this everywhere. It’s because he wears a hoodie with giant pockets. Do you just have a coat that looks perfect for shoplifting?

I'm definitely aware.My anxiety is terrible.I think I will stop shopping there.its just not worth it now

One winter I shopped without a coat,because I thought this might be the reason.I froze my arse off,wearing a thin jumper thinking this was the case.Safe to say it wasn't.I was followed anyway

I can't help but think it's not just you but everyone else at the moment, OP. But when eyes are on us, it feels like we're being singled out. I'm not sure we are being singled out.
I'm the most mundane looking person imaginable (if you're going to judge a book and all that). I look like Olive Oyl. I walk into my Sainsbury's local and the security guard follows me and really watches me (and probably others). I was buying a bottle of prosecco for a friend's birthday and I was really struggling trying to decide what to get. I don't really drink much and I don't know my wines too well. The more I lingered by the wines, the more invasive the security guard became. It was really uncomfortable, but I'm 52 and no longer have any fucks to give with regards to the stupidity/insanity of every day life.

It is annoying, being followed. But, that said, shop lifting is off the charts. One of the guys at my local co-op was telling me a couple of days ago that shop lifting has increased tenfold and shop keepers are too scared to stop thieves because of fear of a concealed weapon. It calms down if there's a security guard on duty but not by much. Shoplifters don't even care if there is a security guard because they can't really do a whole lot either. So I think security guards just try and look as intimidating as they can...
to middle aged mums like me with my stupid coke bottle glasses, wearing a hi vis bike helmet and matching vest over my Seasalt coat. 🙄

A few weeks ago,there was 3 men in the middle of the store,stealing the power tools.The guard(who had been enthusiastically following me),the manager and deputy manager all stood in the door way watching them leave with the power tools.Apparently they are not allowed to chase them or confront them,or even stop them.Puzzles me even more why I can be followed,but actual shoplifters can't be stopped.

@ColourMeBlue I would have had to say something if she was glaring.
Not rudely, or Karen like but "may I ask why you are glaring at me, I find you intimidating and aggressive, you also walked into me so I think I have a right to enquire whether there is an issue?"

I definitely think I would flag politely with the store manager, they are there to help stop stock loss, not to intimidate innocent customers so badly they felt uncomfortable in store.

If you're genuinely followed that closely every time, I would want to speak to the manager about it. It might well be that there's a known shoplifter who looks very like you, and yes, there could be a photo of them in the back of the store that all security staff are shown.

I mentioned elsewhere that I was stopped for a self scan basket check five times in a row at my local Waitrose. That's highly unusual there, and I got a bit freaked out. I've never had a 'missed' item so I wondered what was going on.
I called the national customer service number in the end and asked if there was some kind of black mark against me. The woman was lovely, looked into it, and said that there was nothing on the system to flag me up. Since then I've never been checked!

This is an astute answer.

I've spent over 20 years looking for shoplifters at our business and it's hard to put your finger on what it is about some people without obvious tells but hyper vigilance is definitely one. Scumbags seem to have this radar built in that notices even minor attention really quickly. Most other people are relatively oblivious to their surroundings in that way

Funnily enough I am also always very interesting to shop security but tbf if I walked into my shop I'd watch me, I do look like one I'd say something if one of them came up and brushed me though, that's off key

I take AGES in shops as well because I don't have a list, I'm indecisive and I just walk round and round collecting stuff so if they commit to following me they're in for the long haul

Is it really appropriate in the current climate to refer to shoplifters as "scumbags"?

Considering there is a rise in people who would never have even consider stealing from a supermarket being forced into it due to the cost of living crisis, I think calling them scumbags is completely unfair.

There but for the grace of God and all that.

We don't see much of that kind of theft.

The majority of shoplifting in London is stealing to order or just stealing a shelf load of detergent to sell. On the very rare occasion we ever catch anyone stealing food we'd likely send them away with food.

So no, I have no problem calling them scumbags

How old are your kids? Possible maybe one of them has pinched something in the past (however small) and they've clocked that you're related so just keep an eye on you too?

Agree that, while perfectly innocent, the hypervigilance will be a red flag to them - ask any customs officer, and while they may not be able to explain exactly how they do it they'll confirm there's generally a "tell" which causes folk to be pulled over

Thing is the same subtle signs may well alert security staff even if you go elsewhere, so I'd probably just carry on at the same shop and try not to worry about it

I'd be tempted to play with them, too. But then, I’m an oldie with time on my hands.
I would have some sympathy for security guards and stores but they seem to consistently target the wrong people: the large families, the less well off, the easy targets, whilst letting the more blatant or professional thieves get away with hauls of electrical items, alcohol, etc.
If they can't detain them, they could at least photograph them, put more expensive items on chains, behind glass, etc.
I know that's an expensive outlay, but we are told that so many tens of thousands of pounds are lost to shoplifting, it might make sense.
I bet Argos doesn’t get too much shop theft!

Yes, the hyper vigilance is a thing I think. People tend to be looking around to see who's around when they want to do something they know is wrong or they might get confronted about. Or if they feel that they might be accused even if innocent with no intentions.

I wouldn't and don't notice security guards but
I've not been driving long and have a little panic every time a police car is behind me, and they stay behind me a while, and probably drive far worse than I would if it were unmarked and I didn't know!
My car etc is legal and I don't speed or drive deliberately dangerously but my car is a bit boy racer type I think and I'm not very experienced so I become hyper aware they're there and that may well affect my behaviour which alerts them and possibly they follow me while they check out my plates etc, or maybe they're just going in the same direction 🤷🏼‍♀️.

This happened to a friend of mine. She's a plus-sized, disabled dark-skinned woman.
She went to a shop in her hometown with her sibling, and security followed them all around the shop, absolutely making sure they knew they were being watched.
I recently went to visit her and expressed an interest in looking in the shop, and she told me about her experience. I said I could go later but she decided that she'd take her chances after I said I'd ask if there was a problem should it happen again.
Same security person on the door. No following us, although they did glare very obviously at my friend as we went in.
No idea why she is viewed with suspicion.

I'm followed because of my colour. I wish I could switch off being brown but oh well. Your fighting a losing battle the security guards who often don't have two brain cells to run together are told who to look out for and who to follow. I'm often with my very small children do they think I have time to shoplift

I'd have filled up a whole trolley, then wheeled it to her, and flounced out leaving her to deal with it

My DH has been a supermarket security guard and has suggested that perhaps you look like a well known shoplifter.

She won't have to deal with it. Some other happless minimum wage assistant will.