Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To buy flowers for teacher at parents evening

156 replies

thesurreymum · 27/02/2024 21:31

We have parents evening and I thought I would buy each of my DCs teacher a bunch of flowers. Just to say I appreciate all that they do, nothing fancy. Is it weird, will it look like I'm trying to get brownie points?

OP posts:
mrssunshinexxx · 28/02/2024 08:03

I think it's a lovely thing to do

saraclara · 28/02/2024 08:16

NotQuiteNorma · 28/02/2024 07:52

Strange how things have turned around. I remember 50 years ago our mum giving us gifts for our teacher. Now apparently it's weird...

It's not weird to give gifts to the teacher. What's weird of doing it at parents evening. Too public, too inconvenient, too uncomfortable for the teacher.

Dontblameitonsunshine · 28/02/2024 08:25

Imagine if everyone did this? If you’re going to give them flowers, give them at any other time than this

Zyq · 28/02/2024 08:41

Are you planning to do this for every parents' day for every teacher, even if, say, it's a teacher your child doesn't get on with?

AngelinaFibres · 28/02/2024 08:43

You can be kind and appreciative by giving whatever you choose on the last last before Easter holidays. Do not take something at parents evening. That would be cringey. When I was a teacher a card at the end of the year was absolutely sufficient.

AngelinaFibres · 28/02/2024 08:52

NotQuiteNorma · 28/02/2024 07:52

Strange how things have turned around. I remember 50 years ago our mum giving us gifts for our teacher. Now apparently it's weird...

We used to give a little gift on the last day of the school year. Never gave anything at Christmas or Easter. Mums were mainly SAHP when I was at school in the 70s ( married to farmers so worked but worked at home) so they were expected to bring cakes in for the school Christmas party and Easter lunch.
When I was teaching 80s,90s,2000s parents brought something small ( if they wished) on the last day of the year.

AngelinaFibres · 28/02/2024 08:58

Zyq · 28/02/2024 08:41

Are you planning to do this for every parents' day for every teacher, even if, say, it's a teacher your child doesn't get on with?

Very good point. Both my children had a teacher who they didn't like, to the point of tears at night and not wanting to go in to school . They were very long years. If you have made giving flowers frequently into your 'thing' then you are either going to have to give flowers to someone who frequently upsets your child. Or you are going to have to openly not give flowers and that's a whole new level of hassle coming for your child.

Greenshrub · 28/02/2024 08:59

thesurreymum · 27/02/2024 21:54

Exactly and always must be an ulterior motive. I just generally think that they do a great job.

Show quote history

Why post on AIBU if you’re going to ignore the dozens of posters including teachers saying no it’s a bad idea, and reply to the one person who agrees with you 🙄

It’s a bad idea. Give a box of biscuits. They can be eaten then and there between appointments if the teacher gets hungry, or put away discreetly and shared in the staff room the next day.

Imagine the poor teacher having to explain a bunch of flowers on the desk to the next 20 appointments after you’ve given them. It’s just awkward.

Unless you want the gift to be all about you and how great you are, and not the comfort or enjoyment of the recipient. In which case, go ahead.

user1471556818 · 28/02/2024 09:00

Sorry my first thought would be what a creep

saraclara · 28/02/2024 09:06

I'll say again what I way whenever there's a teacher gift thread.

On my pinboard, years into retirement, I have a simple note on lined paper, that a parent wrote to me at the end of a year with her challenging son. In a drawer I have some cards with particularly kind messages on from parents.

The flowers are dead, the chocolates eaten, the mugs gone to charity shops. But I have those notes still.

Foxesandsquirrels · 28/02/2024 09:10

To be honest it feels like it would be less weird to do this on a random day after school. For some reason doing this on parents evening seems very weird to me. Feels like a power move rather than a nice gesture.

MondayMorningChaos · 28/02/2024 09:10

Yes, it’s weird.

EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness · 28/02/2024 09:12

Not the right occasion for this. Christmas, Easter or end of year. Easter isn't far off do it just before then if you really want to do it soon. Otherwise wait till last week of school.

EarringsandLipstick · 28/02/2024 09:15

saraclara · 28/02/2024 09:06

I'll say again what I way whenever there's a teacher gift thread.

On my pinboard, years into retirement, I have a simple note on lined paper, that a parent wrote to me at the end of a year with her challenging son. In a drawer I have some cards with particularly kind messages on from parents.

The flowers are dead, the chocolates eaten, the mugs gone to charity shops. But I have those notes still.

That's lovely.

WhatAboutDarcy · 28/02/2024 09:17

It’s weird.

Just thank her at the end of your appointment and get something at the end of the year.

Livelovebehappy · 28/02/2024 09:17

Jeez you’ll be the the talk of the school playground at pick ups if you do this.

MariaVT65 · 28/02/2024 09:22

The parents evening timing is weird and flowers are big and obvious, will make you look like a brown noser.

I would wait until the day after, and maybe send in a card each to say thanks. Rather than flowers, maybe a costa gift card or biscuits or something more useful.

skygradient · 28/02/2024 09:27

EarringsandLipstick · 27/02/2024 21:46

But when would you give them?!

If you give them at the start, how awkward for the teacher, especially if they have challenging comments to make!

If it's at the end, will you not be like a magician, with a 'ta da' moment? What if you're a bit upset at any comments or feedback? And you've to hand over a bunch of flowers 😅

And how many teachers are you meeting, will you have an armful of bouquets throughout the evening.

And finally, won't it cost you a fortune? Even £5 per bunch will add up!

So no. Give them a tin of biscuits to share if you prefer.

Ta da moment 😅

"Actually can I have that back" at the end if it's negative

NoCloudsAllowed · 28/02/2024 09:28

Parents' evening has a tight turnaround, you'll spend 3 minutes of your alloted five being thanked and the teacher finding somewhere to put them.

Mercurial123 · 28/02/2024 09:29

Do you really want to be known as THAT parent? It's unnecessary and OTT.

Noseybookworm · 28/02/2024 09:35

I wouldn't at Parents evening. Give them a present at the end of year to show your appreciation.

Outnumbered99 · 28/02/2024 09:37

Gowlett · 27/02/2024 21:36

No. Gifts for teachers is BS in my opinion…

Why? Doesn't everyone love a thank you for doing their job well and at the moment teachers are dealing with such a massive stressful workload what harm is a quick thank you?

Agree this is probably a bit of a "public" way to do it but I don't see anything wrong with the gesture at all

Sleeplesnights · 28/02/2024 09:39

NotQuiteNorma · 28/02/2024 07:52

Strange how things have turned around. I remember 50 years ago our mum giving us gifts for our teacher. Now apparently it's weird...

Not weird at all but there's a time and a place. Parents evening is not the place in my opinion.

saraclara · 28/02/2024 09:54

"Actually can I have that back" at the end if it's negative

😂

DragonGypsyDoris · 28/02/2024 09:56

It's like performance parenting. Don't do it.