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Original poster

To buy flowers for teacher at parents evening

156 replies

thesurreymum · 27/02/2024 21:31

We have parents evening and I thought I would buy each of my DCs teacher a bunch of flowers. Just to say I appreciate all that they do, nothing fancy. Is it weird, will it look like I'm trying to get brownie points?

OP posts:
Sleeplesnights · 28/02/2024 06:30

God no. One of the parents did this and it was seen as sucking up by the other parents so hate to think what the teacher thought. Christmas or Easter only.

Georgie743 · 28/02/2024 06:38

Wow, so many comments that it's 'cringe'
or 'you'll be the talk of the school'

I'm a teacher - whilst I think end of term/year or just a random day is better - nobody would ever comment on that negatively at the schools I've worked in. Other staff would ask where the lovely flowers came from, the recipient would say 'oh Little Johnny's mum gave the them to me totally out of the blue, just to say thanks so much - how gorgeous is that' and we'd all say 'oh how lovely, they're so pretty' and that would be that. No cringe, no major fuss.

I've tipped waiting staff, I've bought my child's teacher end of year gifts, I've taken chocs to the hairdresser at Christmas, I've sent flowers to an amazing lecturer to say thanks so much at the end of my teaching degree. None of that was 'cringe' - they were tokens of appreciation.

GoodOldEmmaNess · 28/02/2024 06:41

To me it feels a bit intrusive and overbearing. I would dislike it a lot in a professional context where there is supposed to be a focus on exchanging information about the child.

Mummadeze · 28/02/2024 06:45

The thought of this made me laugh, sorry. Seems like a very weird thing to do.

WithACatLikeTread · 28/02/2024 06:46

It is weird.

Stickyricepudding · 28/02/2024 06:50

Parents evening slots are very short so giving flowers will take up half of your allocated time. By the time the teacher has got over the shock of receiving the flowers, your time is over. Use the time to discuss your child and their educational progress and give the gift at Easter.

itsgettingweird · 28/02/2024 06:53

It's never weird to show appreciation.

Teachers work hard in a never ending increasingly difficult job.

I'm sure they'd love to feel valued.

Stickyricepudding · 28/02/2024 06:56

Don't be THAT PARENT, also don't take away the focus from your child and it's not about your need for validation. Parents evening is not about this and you also risk making your child a bullying target.

Parents of other children will discuss it at home and they will hear about it and may make fun of your child. Please don't do this.

GoodOldEmmaNess · 28/02/2024 06:58

I'm sure they'd love to feel valued.

I think the best way to make a teacher feel valued is to respect their professionalism. Turning a professional meeting into yet another performance of thanks (on top of all the end-of-term stuff that parents do these days) seems like the opposite of that. I always tried to value teachers by paying attention to what they said about my child and giving them space to bring their skills into action.

LynetteScavo · 28/02/2024 06:58

I wouldn't at parents evening itself, but maybe the next day or at the end of term, just before Easter.

Busyhedgehog · 28/02/2024 07:00

I had a parent bring me some lovely little cakes at our last parents' evening. We do ours 1-2-1 or 1-2-2 in the classroom. It was a really nice gesture and they tasted amazing. Great to have after a long day talking to parents. :)

FedUpMumof10YO · 28/02/2024 07:03

I've done a fair few parents evenings over the years and I can honestly say I've never seen this happen before.

Lovely idea but no.

FedUpMumof10YO · 28/02/2024 07:04

ps it's not weird just not done. It's sweet of you to think of doing.

Fallenangelofthenorth · 28/02/2024 07:06

It's very public isn't it? I think gift giving is better when it's discreet. Otherwise it can be seen to be more about the giver than the recipient. Plus, where are they going to put the flowers when they're busy with the other parents? Biscuits handed over discreetly might be a better gift.

EarringsandLipstick · 28/02/2024 07:06

GoodOldEmmaNess · 28/02/2024 06:58

I'm sure they'd love to feel valued.

I think the best way to make a teacher feel valued is to respect their professionalism. Turning a professional meeting into yet another performance of thanks (on top of all the end-of-term stuff that parents do these days) seems like the opposite of that. I always tried to value teachers by paying attention to what they said about my child and giving them space to bring their skills into action.

Excellent post.

ShoesEverywhere · 28/02/2024 07:29

My appointments are always at the end, I bring a few bags of sweets/chocolate and offer for the teacher to choose a couple just before I leave. I know how grueling parents evenings can be and just want to give them something to enjoy on the drive home.

Pacifybull · 28/02/2024 07:31

FedUpMumof10YO · 28/02/2024 07:03

I've done a fair few parents evenings over the years and I can honestly say I've never seen this happen before.

Lovely idea but no.

No, don’t.

mynumerouno · 28/02/2024 07:32

I'd be embarrassed as much as I love flowers! Honestly, a thank you/positive comment means the world!

Hiddenvoice · 28/02/2024 07:33

As a teacher I think it’s a really lovely gesture! However it’s not needed.
Parents night is a stressful night so when a parent comes in with a sincere thank you and says how happy their child is in the classroom then that’s enough for me. If you wanted you could ask your child to create a little card, something handmade is always much more sentimental and something I keep for a long time.

If you do want to give flowers then it’s a really kind
thing to do and they will be very much appreciated.

borntobequiet · 28/02/2024 07:36

Quite apart from anything else, not everyone likes cut flowers as a present (I don’t).

Ελλe · 28/02/2024 07:39

So fucking weird 🤣

Lordofmyflies · 28/02/2024 07:40

Weird. If you want to give them anything -Christmas or end of term.

Rosestulips · 28/02/2024 07:40

although I love flowers it’s a no from me!

Have they gone above and beyond? There are other ways and times to show appreciation

NotQuiteNorma · 28/02/2024 07:52

Strange how things have turned around. I remember 50 years ago our mum giving us gifts for our teacher. Now apparently it's weird...

TheFormidableMrsC · 28/02/2024 07:53

No I definitely wouldn't do that. In primary I did end I'd term gifts but I do nothing for secondary except a thank you card at the end of term.