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AIBU?

To think that emailing your colleagues from hols is a toxic behaviour

130 replies

Isthatrue · 26/02/2024 15:37

I have a couple of people in my team (Managers) who are unable to switch off when on leave and constantly email and send message on Teams even when on leave. I am not talking about 1 follow up on an important matter but more of a proper back and forth on stuff that can easily wait and doesn’t need them to be involved. I can’t stand it! I think it’s a) sad to see they are unable to switch off from work and relax and b) creates a toxic culture for which some people think it is expected to be connected even if technically on leave.

Am I the only one to feel p.ss.d off about this?

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Am I being unreasonable?

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Herdinggoats · 26/02/2024 15:42

i think it depends on the size of your business and company culture. I often work on holiday, I am the only person in my team, and if I don’t when I come back someone will have done what they “think” should’ve happened and honestly it just causes me more stress, work and trouble than if I’d fielded a few emails on holiday

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Isthatrue · 26/02/2024 15:45

@Herdinggoats we are a team of 20 in our function and these are just emails to follow up on non urgent topics and “clarify” a few points, nothing vital that needs to be deal with or that needs their intervention

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Magnastorm · 26/02/2024 15:47

YANBU.

Without fail, I will send back a jokey "don't you have anything better to do on your holiday" type response and refuse to engage any further with them.

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inabubble3 · 26/02/2024 15:47

Yup it’s bad. If there’s an emergency that absolutely no one else can deal with then maybe I see it ( but really someone else should cover). I work somewhere where managers email and teams on their day off. They have also messaged/ phoned me on days off about soemthing absolutely that Could have been dealt with on my next working days (like they could have teams messaged me and I pick it up when I’m in). I’ve defo had to enforce some boundaries and tbh I think it means I’m not viewed very well as a result.

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Niknakk · 26/02/2024 15:48

It's not toxic no. Just because a manager chooses not to switch off that doesn't mean at all that other people need to be the same.

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Nightshade9 · 26/02/2024 15:49

I think this is a personal thing to an individual and role. I have large team and I find it much easier to relax whilst I’m away if I have a quick look at email once a day and field anything I feel needed or helpful. My team know I don’t expect it from them when they are away.

Like the PP I don’t think the world will end, but it suits me and definitely makes when I come back much smoother.

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Isthatrue · 26/02/2024 15:51

I think the issue is that often more junior people in the team feel “oh, Joanna is online if though she is on holiday in Spain, perhaps the same is expected from me when I am off”. It just perpetrates an always online culture which is unhealthy in my opinion.

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MandyRiceDavies · 26/02/2024 15:52

Magnastorm · 26/02/2024 15:47

YANBU.

Without fail, I will send back a jokey "don't you have anything better to do on your holiday" type response and refuse to engage any further with them.

How appalling. You'd be sacked for this where I work.

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Niknakk · 26/02/2024 15:52

Doesn't matter how many of my bosses were online while away, it wouldnt make me think oh let's log on in Spain. No way.

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Ponoka7 · 26/02/2024 15:53

It depends on the nature of the business. Not everyone needs to relax, especially if you enjoy your job and care about your staff.

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WinchSparkle80 · 26/02/2024 15:56

It is expected in my company that you respond to teams on weekends and time off and it annoys me hugely.

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ChaToilLeam · 26/02/2024 15:57

My work phone and work email stay off when I’m on holiday. I know it depends very much on the nature of the business, but I delegate before I leave so everyone knows where to find support, and two people are trusted with my personal mobile to be used only in case of the most pressing emergency. If any of my team email me when they are on holiday I’ll handle whatever they have asked about of course, but then tell them to shoo off back to the beach or bar or whatever. People need proper breaks from work.

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Niknakk · 26/02/2024 15:57

WinchSparkle80 · 26/02/2024 15:56

It is expected in my company that you respond to teams on weekends and time off and it annoys me hugely.

That's a really bad company with a bad culture.

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Purplefrock · 26/02/2024 15:57

I have a friend who is that manager. She works 24/7 we never go anywhere when she doesn't deal with calls and emails. I've tried to tell her, but she genuinely believes the world will end if she doesn't. She's not doing it to undermine anyone, she thinks they need her

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TeenLifeMum · 26/02/2024 15:58

My teams is on my phone so sometimes I see stuff and do reply if it needs an urgent response. If I was away I wouldn’t but last week I was just taking a day of left over leave so did dip in while sat in the car waiting for the rain to pass. I don’t expect it from my team but I’m paid quite a bit more so am willingly flexible.

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Besttobe8001 · 26/02/2024 15:59

I like to test what happens with my team when I'm on holiday by leaving them to get on with it. I delegate before I go and make it really really clear with written and verbal instructions who is in charge of what and who should be making decisions or escalating them.

You should never be indispensable in the workplace, if you are there's a big risk to the business.

Plus I've got better things to do on holiday!

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PlantPlug · 26/02/2024 16:03

These people will be in for a shock if they're in an accident and unable to work for a period of time and their workplace is able to carry on without them.

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gannett · 26/02/2024 16:04

It would be toxic if they were making requests or micro-managing while on holiday. Also toxic if the rest of the team were expected to do the same so managers who do this should make it clear it isn't an expectation.

In and of itself it's not toxic though. People deal with their workload differently. I've explained to my team that it's far more stressful to me to come back to two weeks' worth of unread emails that I have to spend hours slogging through, than it is to just keep on top of my inbox for 5-10 minutes every day. And yes, sending quick responses if they don't require any thought. That is my work-life balance and I'm happy with it.

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rwalker · 26/02/2024 16:05

Wouldn’t bother me let them crack on . Our managers are paid impressive salaries it’s up to them how they manage there work load

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Isthatrue · 26/02/2024 16:06

The people I am referring to have a managerial role in a big team but they aren’t the only ones at that grade, there are plenty other of us around who are experienced and that others can escalate to. I understand some matters are more urgent and need to be dealth with but the continous back and forth on stuff that is absolutely not urgent is quite pathetic tbh, just shows you can’t even enjoy a few days off without thinking of work and having it all under control

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99point6 · 26/02/2024 16:07

I hope they look back on retirement and reflect that it was worth it. Their poor families/ holiday companions. What is the point of going away if you are transported mentally back to work?
See also martyrs that don't take their annual leave allowance.

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RampantIvy · 26/02/2024 16:10

It's not toxic. It's not something I would do.

I think you misunderstand the meaning of toxic.

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WinchSparkle80 · 26/02/2024 16:11

Niknakk · 26/02/2024 15:57

That's a really bad company with a bad culture.

Absolutely- poor manager and american company- am looking for a new role.

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Magnastorm · 26/02/2024 16:18

MandyRiceDavies · 26/02/2024 15:52

How appalling. You'd be sacked for this where I work.

Good job I don't then, eh?

It's indicative of a culture of management not trusting their teams, and incredibly toxic.

It usually also comes with the expectation that if management are doing it, then everyone should be "just checking in" whilst on holiday which I absolutely will not do.

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benid · 26/02/2024 16:22

YANBU at all. I am a senior manager and turn all my notifications off while I am away (and every weekend) as in an absolute emergency someone would surely ring me if they needed my input.

There are certain bellends colleagues who like to think they are indispensable and email people while they are away but I agree that this is toxic and models unreasonable expectations for junior staff.

Even if you want to check emails you can delay sending until you are back in the office - I do this on my colleague's day off so she doesn't get any work emails from me til she's back in the office.

Boundaries are healthy!

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