To say that the next generation is primarily screwed in terms of resilience

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And WTF do we do about it?

Obviously many young people are wonderfully resilient but the overall trend I’ve seen in my line of work (behavioural education) is that there are vast, and I mean VAST numbers of young adults who cannot leave the house, come into a classroom, look someone in the eye, make a phone call, speak infront of the class (if they make it in), cry when pronouns are wrong (daily occurrence), take responsibility to revise/get a job/learn to drive.

What is going to happen to these humans in the future?

For those saying that there was always people struggling in the past. This is undoubtedly true. Anxiety is far from a new emotion. The question is are we actually making things better the way we are handling it.
Lots of people are in therapy or drinking too much to deal with their problems so that points to older generations also having MH issues. However, is it actually better that there are so many young people who stop going to school, won’t do exams because of their anxiety.
People working in schools and universities for last two decades are finding that the numbers looking for accommodations for anxiety is rising and was a trend before Covid.
As a society we do owe it to our youth to question if we are doing things right and change course if necessary.

Yep I’d agree with this.

I work for a large multinational company and regularly recruit ages 22-30. There are some great ones, but also a huge number who are just not interested in being uncomfortable when they do not know things so throw the towel in.

Curiosity, interest and any willingness to work to what they want seems to have disintegrated through the generations, and it is hugely concerning. If it’s not instant gratification or if it makes them feel like they may fail then a lot just don’t want to know.

It makes me sad, as a lot are really going to struggle to find their place in life through lack of self belief or interest.

Beautifully worded. Made me laugh, thank you

I feel like I brought today on myself by posting yesterday! Am treating myself to a large glass of wine and awaiting the complaint emails from parents tomorrow for giving fair boundaries
being mean and bullying their child.

Unfortunately I think you are right. The 'mental health' card seems to be used when some young people -and some of those in their 20s too- just simply dont want to do something and are looking for an excuse. Being challenged and put under some stress is in fact good for developing healthy mental resilience. And as for demands to remove anything from sight/hearing/activity because it causes them offence...!! FFS No one has the right not to be offended (except where actual law is broken) nor demand that because they are offended that they have the right to cancel/silence the offending view.

Being challenged and put under some stress is in fact good for developing healthy mental resilience.

Totally agree with this, which is why I said children should at times learn how to deal with feeling a bit uncomfortable. Parents are doing their children no favours at all saying that teachers cannot ask them to answer questions in lessons, speak in a group etc. I can’t believe the amount of children I teach now that I’m not allowed to direct question towards. Some parents just want any kind of slight stress or uncomfortableness totally removing, but that doesn’t help the child to learn how to deal with these feelings.

I think it's really tempting to use some kind of "mental health" excuse when the stakes are so high. I don't blame kids who do it - I think two things are interacting here (obv this is just a totally unsupported opinion, based on my memories of youth and childhood in the 80s and 90s; my sense of how things are for my kids at secondary school now; working with lots of young first jobbers at work) -

1 - mh stuff is not stigmatised like it used to be
2 - other forms of "failure" are much more to be feared now standards (in everything) are so high and there is nowhere to hide from them

Surely a lot of this has got to be down to parenting? It takes a lot to teach life skills
to DC. It takes time, effort, consistency, determination and a refusal to do shit for them (or have someone else do it) because it’s just easier. Resilience IMO
comes from parents consistently modelling resilient behaviour.

I also think, much like the Japanese situation, that there's a "what's the bloody point" attitude going on here.

I live in a city in the south east and rent for a tiny studio flat is almost £1000 per month; two beds are around £1600 per month, many of them quite shitty from what I've heard. It's scandalous.

Young people are meant to spend their academic years striving so they can enjoy the fruits of their labour when they exit...into what now?

It was so different when I was a 20-something in the 90s - I didn't even go to university but had an ok job, lived in an ok rented two bedroom flat with a boyfriend in a trendy part of town but, crucially, I was out probably four times a week - twice to the pub, twice clubbing and also ate out once or twice a week.

So many young people I know of have decent jobs, actually earning comparatively more than I was, and they're sharing crappy accommodation with friends or partners that is so expensive they can't really afford to go out. A Deliveroo once a week is a luxury.

Younger people, who maybe have older siblings in this situation, must be thinking the parental home is a sanctuary that they want to hang on too for as long as possible.

It's incredibly sad and so very bleak.

When I was a kid you tried things and if they didn't work out, you could just walk away. you could do a job in a shop or something and just leave if it didn't work out. you didn't have this digital thing following you around where everything felt so permanent. you never had to admit to anything at your next "interview" (which was basically you just showing up and asking for a job at the right moment). Loads of kids fucked up their exams and retook them. Coursework wasn't a thing before GCSEs so you could revise the week before and do alright. Or - if not, you could just do a job which didn't need tons of qualifications. you were expected to fall out with some people and not be friends with everyone. You didn't soul search if everything didn't go right, there was such a thing as a shit day. now you are supposed to ask yourself: what part did I play in that?

My daughter cries because she has too much work to do it all to a high standard; and she sometimes forgets not to be cheeky and the teachers tell her off. When I was a kid I never did all my homework; and kids just expected to get told off and the teachers were accepted as natural enemies with unreasonable expectations. Now we have somehow persuaded them to internalise adult values and they are too young and it's too hard.

So it isn't surprising that if you set all this up AND say "but on the other hand, if you have MENTAL HEALTH issues...." some of them - who are honestly feeling pretty terrible about it all - are going to be having mental health issues

@SheerLucks that too - whatever you do, literally whatever, it will never be enough, so what's the point

In the time that I have been alive, the same messages have been constantly fed downwards towards kids from teachers and another authorities that they have to work harder than physically possible; they probably aren't good enough; they need to think harder about everything and plan more for all eventualities; misfortune can be strategised against; and somehow suddenly it seems to have gone in and they are absolutely paralysed by it. I think the role models of all the people who don't do this and basically everything turns out ok have gone away somehow, all the dads who get paid although they take a piss a bit have had their jobs replaced by robots; all the mums who did a nice little part time job because they were being supported by those dads are all working flat out and strung out

My dad was an evacuee, 10 or 11, separated from his parents, placed with one sibling, 4 other siblings sent elsewhere, miles away from home in Devon. Aged 14 he started a 5 year apprenticeship, war was still on but he got on and did it.
To blame COVID for a kids lack of resilience is a nonsense. Too much time spent on devices, that are given to kids at too young an age has caused half the problem. They're exposed to material way beyond their maturity but we always make excuses and wonder what went wrong. As soon as mental health is mentioned, the world has to back off. It's a get out of jail free card for some

But dont forget that a lot of older people who had normal childhoods for the time are actually quite damaged. There is so much fucked upness apparent in people who just had to get on with it (whatever it was) and they are not psychologically in great shape.

There is something a lot of men have that not many will admit to which is that they are bitterly jealous of the way their wives treat their children (nicely) because their own mothers were told not to give them too much attention and they have been trying to get some woman to baby them ever since. Some of them are so pathetically needy and controlling. this is not healthy but the people they work with probably see them confidently making decisions every day and think they are "resilient"

that's just one example

then there's closeted gay people

This is a very interesting read and there is lots I agree with. Thank you OP for starting the thread.

I know it has been mentioned but I think screens/internet/social media in youngsters are a big contributing factor too. In the US, mental health awareness is massive, with accessing treatment and therapy for it the norm.

@trytopullyoursocksup I think you are trying to stretch the envelope here. Every generation gets things wrong; our children will be berating us in 15 years. But actually, I really think we need to stop the blame game. My parents (now 89 and 90 and divorced since 1976) have zero responsibility for me as I am 67. My DC is 24. Lives with us, saves money for a mortgage while doing that. And works two zero hours jobs to do so.

We are now seeing the result of the culture of:

• everyone’s a winner
• don’t hurt their feelings
• everyone’s a victim
• everyone’s waiting to be offended
• “I know my rights” but sadly not a clue about responsibility

whats to be done? Sadly I think we have to let them fail, only then will they learn.

I'm not sure what the answer is, but social media and phones haven't helped matters. Only my opinion, but there must be a coloration there ?

Horribly, I think I'm with @Loyallyreserved . The generation need to learn how to fail gracefully and get back up, wipe their faces, and try again.

To refer to another thread, resilience.

Social media massively. Being available to everyone all the time.
COL
Parents having to work a million jobs just to make ends meet unnable to be there emotionally and physically for their kids.
Society more and more polarised.

Personally, I'm glad to not be a young person now. I'm rising 50 (ho ho) and I think I was young in maybe the best time ever to be a young person. Kids can't make mistakes at all any more. They can't get started on adult life, can't mess up jobs, can't get permanent work, can't buy a house and teenage rebellion is co opted by inadequate adults funky uncling youth interest.

No wonder they're anxious and want to hide.

Social media pressure IS appalling. The COL pressures are affecting everyone, unless you are a plutocrat (not most of us). But under pressure, and most of us are, most of us will get through well enough regardless Not as brilliantly as we planned and hoped, but most of us will do well enough and the next generation will be okay. Nobody ever gets everything they wanted.

Likely natural selection. At least I hope so as a society can not survive like that.

@Smugglerstop social media plays a huge role. We have 8 year olds doing skincare routines with products they don't need and will actually do more harm than good as they have seen videos online. They are displaying increasingly extreme views, lots of boys were Andrew Tate fans and make misogynistic comments to the girls and staff. Some have even joked about rape. Have heard girls talking about 'hot girl summer.' They play games with adult ratings, and online game with each other for hours at a time. They have tiktok, Instagram despite the minimum age limit being 13 and the age limit on WhatsApp is 16. There is a reason it's so high.

There was a report in Ireland that 1 in 4 six year olds have a smartphone. Why? I don't understand why parents are giving kids phones so you let alone have access to these apps!