To say that the next generation is primarily screwed in terms of resilience

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And WTF do we do about it?

Obviously many young people are wonderfully resilient but the overall trend I’ve seen in my line of work (behavioural education) is that there are vast, and I mean VAST numbers of young adults who cannot leave the house, come into a classroom, look someone in the eye, make a phone call, speak infront of the class (if they make it in), cry when pronouns are wrong (daily occurrence), take responsibility to revise/get a job/learn to drive.

What is going to happen to these humans in the future?

‘My parents were Boomers and were quite comfortable inhabiting the mindset of not wanting your children to feel like they were failures, particularly my Mum. It is anecdotal but I don't think resilience is a generational trait, I think it is a personality trait.’

No one wants or should want their child to feel like a failure. But successful people all fail sometimes. The trick to resilience, which is far more easily said than done, is to fail and regard it as a learning experience, rather than feeling like a failure.

Resilience is, like all other traits, a combination of genes and environment, so clearly some people are born more resilient than others. But it is also a generational trait, as childhood environment has changed greatly over the last few decades.

An anecdote (no anecdote isn’t data, I know that) that always amazes me is children’s (and many adults) ‘need’ for water on demand. I’ve had pupils ask to leave the class to go and get a drink and, when I ask why, thinking that maybe they have a medical condition, am told they are thirsty, as if this is a serious and debilitating condition. They are amazed when I refuse and tell them they can be thirsty for an hour until lunch.

I’m a uni lecturer, 50% of my students seem to have diagnosed anxiety and get extra time, etc because of it. It’s definitely got worse in the last ten years. It was getting worse before Covid so not even sure that’s to blame.

This is so true. If anything they have it harder, there is not let up!

This, this and this.

I'm glad people do drink water now, I didn't drink tap water until I was an adult. Had loads of dental treatment and was often very thirsty at school.

Read what I replied too. The Ops original post was going on about kids crying over not knowing what pro-nouns are.

@greatwesternmailman Thank you, I'm so glad things got better for you and it really does help to hear. I think the very least any of us want are more good days than bad days for the people we care about!

‘I think young people are the opposite of cossetted and are put under a lot of pressure to perform well academically. Universities all want As for courses that required Cs a few years ago. ‘

Since the A* grade was introduced, As are now what was Bs and, given grade inflation, relatively weak yet hardworking students can often achieve As at A level.

Most of the children I teach have come from overseas. Many of these have come from war zones. They show far more resilience than I ever did.

OTOH I was less aware of current affairs and the world around me than children today seem to be. We put more responsibility for their learning on children (awareness of learning targets and levels etc.) More children than ever are living in poverty. Teens and young adults are probably well aware of how difficult it will be to own their own home. Social media piles pressure to be perfect like never before, and school issues (bullying or fallings out) can continue at home due to social media so there is no let up. It's no wonder so many young people are overwhelmed.

I mean some of those that my answer referred to were being abused

I would imagine being forced to spend 24/7 with your abusive parent instead of escaping to school 5 days a week for the better part of a year would be a massive reason to decrease someones resilience

And I have no idea why you seperated out children being abused from those at home during covid

I offered one reason for a problem which others say has got worse since covid. Why sneer at me that that cant possibly be the case because children in third world countries according to you don't have mental health issues. If it was as simple as that the problem wouldnt exist in the first place and sneering at people who try to offer reasons why certainly doesnt help the situation.

Perhaps you need to get some persepctive on responding to ideas on a forum. Certainly this kind of response shows poor resiliance and ability to cope with a conversation from your perspective.

I'm a therapist and the number of young people aged around 17-22 that just can't cope with every day life now is alarming. It's defiantly increased over the last 5-8 years. They seem to not be able to cope with any stress. It does worry me. I don't remember myself or my peers being that way at that age not sure what's causing it tbh

@Katypp

So true

I think sometimes the it's not all about you style parenting of the 70s was better in some ways

Technology, smartphones, social media I think are behind it as well as the climate crisis, depressing politics and economy, catastrophic world events, all magnified and graphically available 24/7

Well if you’re a therapist you’ll know that there is no provision for the 18-25 group and mentally ill youngsters are just dumped at 18. Your lack of empathy speaks volumes about the quality of therapy those lucky enough to receive it get.

Why are we talking about the sensitivity of young people rather than the ones who will very soon be in full-on-meltdown because a newspaper told them that a shop was using "chocolate eggs" instead of "Easter eggs" so as not to offend Muslims? And why are we worried about young people not liking phone calls and not the many senior managers in every organisation who refuse to engage with new technology and as a result someone else has to help them login to Teams every day? Nobody seems worried about them coping.

And you seem to be forgetting that a lot of these children were banned from contact without anyone outside their family for over a year- mostly to protect the above Easter egg aficionados- and probably need a bit of time to readjust after that.

Where in her post is there a lack of empathy?!!

Do you see a trend of possible causes in your work?

Do you think there were always issues but young people are now being encouraged to seek help?

When I was growing up, suicide, particularly among males, was high enough to be unexpected.

Everyone who is working to A grade standard should get an A. It shouldn't be 80% one year, 85% the next or being about the top in your cohort, it should just be about achieving the grade standard. If so many are achieving it then perhaps the teaching or study methods are better than the half arsed thrown in at the deep end never taught study skills whoops I taught you the wrong syllabus stuff we used to get in the 1980s and 1990s.

What makes you think that these two groups are mutually exclusive? Feel free to start a thread about them, I probably agree with you but it’s impossible to include every demographic you’re concerned about in one thread.

I think there is an incredibly long list of things that is causing a decline in the mental health of young people today vs previous generations. Off the top of my head:
Social media and all that encompasses - unrealistic beauty standards, online bullying, the fear that at any point you make a mistake or social faux pas it could be recorded and uploaded to the internet for millions to see
Underfunding of sports and arts in education - not all children are academic and that is fine, but by taking away these they may feel like they aren’t good/succeeding at anything and removing a creative outlet for those who may need it most
Cost of living - most households now need two adults working full time in order to possibly cover all the bills, meaning there is no longer always an adult at home when they get home etc, picking up on the stresses of parents struggling to pay bills and the costs of everyday life
The absence of a village - my parents were brought up around their extended family members, aunts, uncles, cousins, there were more people about to support parents and provide a diverse range of people for children to open up to and confide in
The underfunding of education in the UK and the shortage of teachers leading to schools having less and less resources and having to implement draconian measures that are almost certain to cause anxiety in at least some children
A reduction in easily accessible and free green spaces
An increase in children living in poverty
The impacts of Covid
NHS waiting times meaning that children with SEN are waiting years for a diagnosis and then having their EHCP fought at every step by local councils, robbing them of the support they need

Is it any surprise their mental health and resilience is suffering?!

I think they meant whether the correct gender pronouns are used (she/her, he/him, they/them) to match the individual’s preference

The bit where she failed to recognise or mention the huge amount of pressures youngsters are now under.

I wasn't referring to those with medical conditions, I was referring to those lacking in self confidence, mild anxietyetc. My daughter was really struggling - crying every night, refusing to eat, refusing to go to school, and the experiences drama and Brownies gave her turned her life around as they enabled her to believe in herself, take back control and tell the bullies where to go. And I know many parents have said the same. I'm sorry your child didn't find it helpful, no one solution will work for everyone of course.

And I work with terminally ill children, so am confronted with 'real life' on a daily basis. And I know the NHS needs to do more, I work in it and have a physical disability and a mental health condition. But equally within it we see wait lists going up as people don't follow the advice given, don't turn up for appointments, abusive to staff which leads to long term staff sickness

My point was that people need to be proactive rather than reactive. See something which needs changing, try best to change it, whether thats lobbying for better funding, volunteering with support groups, getting a job within an area passionate about to try to produce change from the inside

This!

😲 you cant say that you will be told to get some perspective by a MNer who apparently doesnt have the resilience to read a post they disagree with 🤣

I totally agree with you

I also deal with our graduates at work, and despite what some one here are saying about their age group they are all incredibly smart, well adjusted and resilient. They are a breeze to work with, far more so than some of my colleagues who are older than them. I have some male colleagues in their 50s and 60s who have huge shouting matches every time a tiny little thing goes wrong because they cant cope with it.