To wonder if I am an alcoholic?

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I LOVE a wine. I was drinking most nights up until a few weeks ago, I am fine and can go without it to be honest but I do miss it. I have 2 young kids and don't want to damage my health.

Does anybody else love a wine? some nights I would finish a bottle and feel absolutely fine, others, could only manage 2 glasses without feeling sick etc. My family have always drank a lot so its the norm to them really so its difficult to understand what is actually normal

I love wine but it makes me feel so nice I realise it could very easily become a habit. I drink in moderation maybe 2 glasses every couple of weeks. If you're drinking every night and sometimes a whole bottle then it's too much.

If you've easily gone a few weeks without wine you're probably not an alcoholic. But it sounds like you were drinking an unhealthy amount, far beyond the NHS recommended amounts. And what would happen if you had an emergency with one of your kids and you couldn't drive?

I think drinking a small amount daily is normal by definition (usual, typical) but whether it should be, or whether it's healthy, are separate questions. I don't think drinking a bottle a day is normal, though.

If you even have to ask, you're likely to have a problem with alcohol, in my opinion.

Alcohol takes up zero headspace for me.

Well, you don't sound physically dependent but you do sound as if you're drinking more than is good for you and it has become at best a habit, at worst a compulsion.

The question "I am an alcoholic" isn't necessarily helpful as you can have all sorts of problems with drink that fall short of the stereotype of an alcoholic. A better question might be "is drinking like this making my life better or worse, easier or harder?"

Maybe start by taking a month off. That won't answer the question of whether you need to stop permanently (it's pretty easy not to drink for a month) but it will give you a bit of distance so that you can see whether stopping might be beneficial to you.

A bottle of wine a night is a lot and can leave you with a problem if there's an emergency. It's also not doing your liver any favours. The government guidelines are 14 units a week for a woman. As a former regular drinker myself, I found giving up the daily half bottle (more at weekends) helped my weight, complexion and energy levels. Can you give yourself a break?

Absolutely this. People cling to the old stereotype of an alcoholic drinking all day everyday, spirits out of brown paper bag type stuff, . Reality is different in that alcoholics come in different guises. Some are easier to spot than others. Those who are middle class wine drinking parents seem to be amongst those who can drink daily and see it as normal. It’s not. It’s every bit as destructive as the person who downs vodkas. Stopping drinking for periods amd going back to it proves nothing

Before addiction phase there is the habit phase, when we do things under the influence of others (everyone is having a drink) or out of boredom (inhaling packet of crisps every night while watching tv), as a coping mechanism (going trough pack of custard creams daily at work) or just out of convenience (kebab on the way home from station). If you can break the habit and switch the things around - no, you're not an alcoholic/sugar/junk food addict. If you do struggle, have low mood, looking for excuses to have your glass of wine on Tuesday afternoon then it's time to seek help.

No, op, you’re not an alcoholic, clearly. But you are justifying a worrying and unhealthy habit, which could ultimately descend there.

although I caveat that my saying my own view is either you are the type to become an alcoholic or not.

I do not like your phrasing, does anyone else like a wine, what a silly question, and you then Justify your drinking by saying what you’re used to. However you caveat it with you understand about your health.

personally I think you’re on a precipice.

Use to love it and over drink/was getting concerned how often I was drinking/habit kicking in, it really is the devil.

Very fortunate I managed to just stop dead as part of dry January.

If you can catch rain in my heart on iplayer - it is worth a watch.
BBC iPlayer - Rain in My Heart

I'd say if you can control your drinking and you don't need it to function, you're not an alcoholic.

Maybe you have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, a lot of people do, it doesn't mean there's a dependency on it.

By all accounts it is easy to cross the line between it being a want and it being a need though. Drinking every night over a long period of time can grow from something you fancy and enjoy into something you need and feel you have no control over.

It's definitely not normal to be drinking every day, even small amounts - well certainly not for me or anyone I know anyway.

OP I think your family have normalised drinking a lot and that has obviously really affected you to the point that you don't even know what's normal or not. I think you need to be very, very careful you don't do the same to your children.

Too many people use alcohol to cope with the boredom/anxiety/stress of day to day life and this sometimes is passed down through families IMO. You might be an alcoholic you might not, but this is not a healthy relationship with alcohol and at some point that will impact your children one way or another. I think you need to find healthier more functional ways to enjoy yourself and fill your evenings.

I don't think the label is helpful.

If you think you are drinking too much - you are.

You should do a search OP the exact same question was asked very recently.

I'm an alcoholic, and I don't think having a wine or two most nights makes you an alcoholic. You might have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol though. And a bottle a night is certainly too much from a health perspective if you're doing it on a regular basis.

Have you ever had a long stretch of abstinence - as in a month, 3 months, a year - when you weren't pregnant?

If you haven't, I'd really recommend it. When I was drinking, I thought that wine helped me relax and enjoy my down time. Now that I haven't had a drink in nearly a year, I realise actually how stressed and not relaxed it made me. I love a weekend evening with a cup of tea now, or an early Sunday morning up reading a book - things I never did when I was either drinking or hungover on the weekend. And I find parenting so much easier now too - and more enjoyable.

This whole 'mummy wine culture' thing is a big fat lie. Actually being a parent is so much nicer when you aren't thinking about a drink or regretting drinking. I realise how hard I made it all for myself for so long. If you don't have a problem, stopping for a time should be pretty easy. If it's not easy, then you probably have an even better reason to stop. I would recommend 3 months or a year off for anyone. I never would have imagined the difference it would have made in my health and wellbeing and quality of life. I don't think you have to be an alcoholic though to appreciate the positive impact though.

Basically, alcohol is a highly addictive poison. So if you are addicted to it, it's honestly not a reason to feel ashamed. LOADS of people are. It's how it works. It's what happens next that's important.

People think alcohol dependency only means being physically dependent on it to the point you can't quit without medical detox. This is both wrong and extremely unhelpful. The effects of prolonged alcohol use on your brain are extremely real and take a long period of sobriety to recover from, whether you need to medically detox or not.

If seeking help with alcohol dependency were as normalised as using the NHS stop smoking service, there would be a lot less harm from alcohol abuse. There is SO much stigma about disclosing you can't control your alcohol use.

No you don't need to reach "rock bottom". No you don't need to be at the stage where you've lost your job and your family and everyone hates you. That's like not calling the fire brigade because only your kitchen is on fire.

You sound very self aware OP. Time to make a change! Start by reading This Naked Mind and take it from there. Best of luck!

It’s a tricky one. And not one you’ll get an answer to on here. Some will say if you have a drink more than twice a year, you’re a raging alcoholic. Some will say a drink every night is ok. If you think you’re drinking too much, you probably are. And like a pp I’d highly recommend a month or two without booze to re set.
I bloody love red wine, I could happily drink it every night but I know that’s not healthy. If I could find a non alcoholic red that tasted anything like proper wine, I’d drink that - it’s not the feeling of alcohol I’m really after. I limit myself to not drinking at home. I only have a couple of glasses if we go out to eat or are socialising.

I don't know anyone these days who drink daily.

I realise how hard I made it all for myself for so long

Wise words.

www.drinkaware.co.uk/

Such a silly outdated attitude.

Addiction isn't categorised by volume imo, it's by dependency. If you need wine to function, if you need it to feel relaxed, if you're prioritising it over other important things in your life (work/family etc) then it's probably creeping towards a dependency. If not it's just something unhealthy that you happen to enjoy.

Be mindful of your units. If you're drinking more than 2 bottles per week then you're easily over your recommended 14 units per week. And this could cause health issues down the line.

You know enough to instantly diagnose OP. But not enough to know that shame is a shit way to approach it. Well done.

OP if you think you have a problem, and there is some clear water between a drinking problem and clinical dependence, talk to someone. There are probably alcohol and drug counsellors in your area.

It’s not normal to drink every day. I had to set a mental boundary for myself, which means I don’t drink on a school night - I’m only allowed to drink on Fridays and Saturdays.