To wonder if I am an alcoholic?

[MiniEg]

I LOVE a wine. I was drinking most nights up until a few weeks ago, I am fine and can go without it to be honest but I do miss it. I have 2 young kids and don't want to damage my health.

Does anybody else love a wine? some nights I would finish a bottle and feel absolutely fine, others, could only manage 2 glasses without feeling sick etc. My family have always drank a lot so its the norm to them really so its difficult to understand what is actually normal

Well no but obviously somebody who doesn't drink that much at all, anything will seem a lot to them,

I don't think anyone is going to say that someone who drinks more than twice a year is an alcoholic - or even twice a week, to be honest.

I don't drink but DH will drink 3-4 nights a week. I don't think he has any problems with alcohol by any means, even though he clearly drinks way more than I do.

I grew up with an alcoholic stepfather, he held a very responsible job so much so that his decisions meant many people could have died if he made the wrong one. He was a functioning alcoholic, alcohol did kill him prematurely.

A friend once said drinking alone that was what she thought was a slippery slope and I tend to agree. I’m a social drinker and don’t drink alone.

Find some sort of home based hobby if he works late.

I much prefer to drink wine alone watching TV eating chocolate! I can quite happily meet my friends alcohol free and do not fancy it at all. I love a bath with a glass of freezing cold wine.

I can recommend CBD drinks if you're looking to relax without alcohol. I buy Goodrays and have a couple in the evenings, and it's sooo much better.

Or just have a spliff and be done with it! haha

I think it is a difficult one as it seems to vary a lot by person.

I know one guy in rude health in his late 80s who did business lunches big time when they were a thing, and still meets his mates for boozy lunches and dinners. And yet you read of people who seem to drink moderately (maybe half a bottle a day) and end up with alcoholic liver disease.

Much safer to cut right down but, if you really enjoy it and don’t lack money, I am sure you could pay for a full liver screen to see how much it is affecting you!

I had a full blood count recently and all came back ok

There's some weird definitions of what an alcoholic is on here.

If you can go without alcohol and function perfectly well without it for a few days weeks or months then how are you are an alcoholic?

Liking and enjoying wine doesn't mean you have an addiction.

I don't drink in the week, but I look forward to a drink on Friday and Saturday because I enjoy the taste and feeling alcohol gives me when I do. I also look forward to other things I don't do on most days too like eating chocolate, watching a film, having a lie-in, going shopping, having my hair done, getting a take-away etc.

So glad you have decided to knock it on the head, your children need their Mum, now and in the future.

I have a relation who can go weeks without a drink and function perfectly well...then they have a drink,they are very much an alcoholic.

My view might be tainted as there's an alcoholism problem on one side of the family.

Every single person that ever asked me or someone else if they were an alcoholic became one if they weren't there already. 3 college friends too so not just where there is a family history.

I've no professional experience in this area so take what I'm saying with a pinch of salt but IME, there's a very short window between when someone begins to question if they are drinking too much and if they should cut down and between when they are no longer able to.

Excessive drinkers, particular those drinking at home with no or limited company, typically become Problem Drinkers or Alcoholics with 6-12 months of asking the question of others from what I can see.

If you can go without alcohol and function perfectly well without it for a few days weeks or months then how are you are an alcoholic?

Lots of alcoholics can "give up" or go without a drink for long periods but that doesn't mean they're not alcoholics.

I lost a friend to alcoholism a few years ago.

She regularly went 6+ months without touching a drop and would, to an outsider, look completely normal. But then something would happen to upset her, she'd lose control and binge. She'd then have a few weeks/months of drinking regularly - eventually she would drink herself into a stupor and end up in hospital. Then (like clockwork) she'd stop, withdraw and anywhere between a week and six months later, the cycle would start again.

She drank herself into a stupor in the end and after being blue-lighted to hospital, she died of multi-organ failure a few days later. She was only 56.

A full blood count tells you nothing, you need a liver function test.
It's a bit like diabetes, obesity etc even though it's becoming more and more common doesn't mean that these conditions are not causing severe health issues. It doesn't matter all your friends and family are drinking, your liver doesn't care about that. It's not safety in numbers.

I think if you can finish a bottle in one evening that is over the recommended amount but it doesn't necessarily mean you are an alcoholic. I personally dont drink more than 2 glasses either if we go out for a meal or if we open a bottle Friday evening we might finish it between 2 of us over the weekend. We sometimes go a month or more without drinking. If you find yourself craving it I think you are on a dangerous slope.

Alcoholic isn’t a helpful term. Look up grey area drinking. Far more people are in that. It’s really common but it’s also a good time to cut back, before it becomes a serious problem.
There are loads of great resources out there - apps, books, email programs, social media groups. If cutting back is your goal, you’ll find something that suits you.

Crikey - that's a documentary...thanks for recommending it.

Clearly all bright and emotionally intelligent people.

Maybe any of the things that people that don't drive do?

Op hasn't said if she's a driver.

It does sound as if you have picked up an unhealthy attitude to drink from your family OP.
Thats an a lot of alcohol to be consuming

I agree, an alcoholic is a bit outdated, but it refers to someone who is physically dependent on alcohol to function, who would have serious withdrawal symptoms if they stopped and who is compelled to drink regularly.

Someone who drinks heavily but can stop for a while, or someone who has periods of not drinking but then binges and makes themselves ill has a problem with alcohol but not necessarily a dependency. Therefore wouldn't be described as an alcoholic.

OP does not sound like an alcoholic, but she drinks more than is healthy and needs to cut back before it becomes a dependency.

What a brilliant, heartbreaking documentary.

I was shocked by the doctor saying they had patients who drank 60 units a week. That’s less than a bottle of wine a night (obviously a bottle a night is loads but I hadn’t realised it was enough to put someone in hospital).

I agree. There are many recovered alcoholics who write books and post on YouTube, but William Porter really explains it succinctly.

It's so easy to slip from social drinking to drinking at home to drinking too much. Since becoming almost teetotal I feel more energetic and less anxious, my skin looks better and my sleep has improved tremendously. What's not to like!

Echoing previous posters, recommend you look into “grey area drinking”.
this is a useful, short summary some (not all) of which applied to me.

https://sarahrusbatch.com/blog/8-signs-you-are-a-grey-area-drinker

I am one of a group of six women who meet weekly for a meal and a drink. Everyone buys a round so we usually have 6 drinks, some drink beer, some wine and some spirits. I usually feel quite merry but am not drunk and don't have any after effects. My weekly intake is usually below the NHS guidelines. I decided to do dry January and while I miss the alcohol I still enjoy the food and the company. However, my 5 friends all reacted very negatively when I announced I was doing dry January and asked me what was the point! I suspect they are unable to go four weeks without alcohol! Does this mean they are functioning alcoholics?