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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was I BU to leave the pub after being told off by the manager?

575 replies

EmptyTheFrickingBins · 25/02/2024 23:26

I had booked a table for a group of seven people to celebrate a Ruby wedding anniversary. On arrival to the pub we found the table with our reservation and sat down to wait for the rest of party - this was at 4:30 which was our booked time.

Three other guests were already seated at the table and there was no indication that any other table had been reserved for us.

My parents - who are both elderly and disabled - arrived and I returned to the table with them where we asked the other guests if they'd be happy to share-- there would have been room and we couldn't move because the only free tables were for four or under. This was at 4:45 and we had been waiting for them to finish.

They reacted in a very angry way and stormed off from the table and must have informed the staff on the way out.

I just want to be clear - at no point where we rude or demanding.

We were viewing the menu when a manager in a pink top came over to the table and told us rudely that we shouldn't have asked the other guests to move (again - at no point did we do this), that another table had been reserved for us and we should have spoken to the staff - again none of this was indicated, and only the one table had our name on it!

I felt extremely embarrassed by the interaction - we sat at the table in good faith as it had the reserved sign on with our name.

The woman's attitude was awful and spoiled the night - we ended up leaving because we no longer felt welcome - everyone was looking at us as she told us off!

OP posts:
WhatNoRaisins · 26/02/2024 07:02

Tatonka · 26/02/2024 06:50

Lots of places put reserve signs on and you can still sit at them, often you'll be told you can sit there til x o clock

Show quote history

See if that was the case then why not just drink up and bugger off?

PurpleFlower1983 · 26/02/2024 07:05

Your behaviour was strange and you should have approached the staff. Reserved or not, the table was already occupied and therefore not available to you.

Weddingmom · 26/02/2024 07:06

Tatonka · 26/02/2024 06:50

Lots of places put reserve signs on and you can still sit at them, often you'll be told you can sit there til x o clock

Show quote history

This

Rubbishconfession · 26/02/2024 07:07

WhatNoRaisins · 26/02/2024 07:02

See if that was the case then why not just drink up and bugger off?

Show quote history

Sounds like that party had had their meal there though as their plates were still there.

All they probably knew was that was their allocated table and some randoms were trying to muscle in on them whilst they were still there.

AlwaysGinPlease · 26/02/2024 07:07

PurpleFlower1983 · 26/02/2024 07:05

Your behaviour was strange and you should have approached the staff. Reserved or not, the table was already occupied and therefore not available to you.

This.

NonoLePetitRobot · 26/02/2024 07:10

I'm not sure why you are getting a hard time. The table had your name on it and it's not like you tried to manhandle the other people off it. I think the restaurant ballsed up the reservations and the manager was trying to cover her mistake.

PriOn1 · 26/02/2024 07:12

I see you didn’t ask them to move, OP. Rather, you say you asked them if it was okay to share. If you did so politely, then it wasn’t unreasonable if there was nowhere else you could practically sit and it was a very big table (which it sounds like it was).

Personally, I would probably have asked a member of staff as I’d have wanted the table for my group, as I’d booked it. Was there a reason you didn’t ask someone?

Whatever occurred, given there was a mix-up and whoever was to blame, a good, experienced member of staff would have politely apologized for the mix up, led you to your new table and made sure you were comfortable.

I should imagine the member of staff had been shouted at by the other customers and rather than behaving in a completely professional manner, came and took it out on you. Human and understandable, but it has lost them a table full of customers and no, I don’t think you were unreasonable to leave.

notacooldad · 26/02/2024 07:12

I think you were in the wrong.
Hungry Horse or not, I'm sure most people would make themselves known to staff and let them show you which table you are at.

SgtJuneAckland · 26/02/2024 07:12

On the upside, by leaving you didn't have to eat at a hungry horse pub

ahoyhoyhoy · 26/02/2024 07:13

OP I voted YANBU as you weren’t unreasonable to leave at that point, it sounds a bit chaotic. Altho as others are pointing out I would have said ‘excuse me we have a booking’ to someone first 😬

It would be good to get more info though -
What actually happened in those first 15 mins and did no staff ask if you were okay?
What did you actually say to the 3 people sat at the table?
Was there a different area of the pub that the other large table the staff member supposedly set up for you might have been?
What did the staff member actually say to you?

Mothership4two · 26/02/2024 07:13

WhatNoRaisins · 26/02/2024 06:41

The other customers sound really odd, could they not read the reserved sign? I'd probably have got a staff member because I'm quite socially awkward but actually I think good for you for claiming the table.

As the pub had set up an alternative table for the OP, maybe these customers had had a conversation with staff and were aware and knew they didn't have to rush off. As the info OP is giving is patchy and hasn't put in what these customers actually said, it's difficult to tell what really happened.

Grabbing a table isn't a good idea as it's rude and you could start an argument and/or make a mistake like the OP did.

puzzledout · 26/02/2024 07:16

Mothership4two · 26/02/2024 06:28

@CasperGutman

For all those saying that the OP should have spoken to staff first or waited to be seated - yes, that is often the expected procedure.
But in a pub-type setup the cultural norm is to find a table before you ever approach the bar or interact with staff.

If you have booked a table the norm is to check with staff first. Most pubs don't write names on the tables, so how else would you know where to sit? if you haven't booked then yes in a pub the cultural norm is to look for a free table first before you go to the bar to make sure you get one.

And this table apparently had a sign with the OP's name on it. If that sign isn't to inform you which table has been allocated to your party, what is its purpose?

It doesn't matter, if the previous party hadn't yet left the table that had our name on it, I would ask the staff to sort it out, not go and sit down which could come across as passive aggressive and is just rude. If OP had gone straight to a member of staff when they had arrived then none of this would have happened.

I question the OP's version of how polite she actually was having stood around for 15 minutes assuming the other party had overrun. Also, if she nicely asked to join the table surely the other party would have just said "no" or "can you please wait until we leave" rather than angrily storming off and complaining. OP conveniently doesn't reveal what was said - surely there was some sort of interaction?

This

WhatNoRaisins · 26/02/2024 07:16

If they'd actually set up a table surely they would have moved the sign with their name on it when they did so. I can't imagine just chilling and taking my time over a meal on someone else's reserved table.

nosleepforme · 26/02/2024 07:16

1smallhamsterfoot · 25/02/2024 23:54

Why ask if you’re unreasonable if you aren’t willing to even briefly entertain the possibility that you might be?!?

This

Toomuchgoingon79 · 26/02/2024 07:17

The odd part of this is that you didn't approach a member of staff and say 'excuse me, my names X and we've booked a table for 10'. That's what normal people would do.

BristolBorn · 26/02/2024 07:17

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

IggOrEgg · 26/02/2024 07:19

HeddaGarbled · 25/02/2024 23:53

It’s not normal behaviour to go and plonk yourself down on a table that other people are using and ask them to leave. If there was a mix-up with the table reservations, any normal person would talk to the staff about it not try and evict other customers.

This. Your behaviour was bizarre and quite rude really.

puzzledout · 26/02/2024 07:20

WhatNoRaisins · 26/02/2024 07:16

If they'd actually set up a table surely they would have moved the sign with their name on it when they did so. I can't imagine just chilling and taking my time over a meal on someone else's reserved table.

Very often life been to a busy restaurant without a booking and Bern told you can have this table but it is reserved for x time.

If OP had spoken to staff they would've then advised the current guests that you they had arrived and waiting for the table. Rather than PA go and plokk themselves down.

dayswithaY · 26/02/2024 07:20

Applauding the use of the word “plonk” - I’ve never heard it so many times on one thread!

It conjures up images of a huffy person dropping down into a seat with a face like thunder and seething with silent rage.

Look at it from the other diners’ perspective, OP. A group come bustling in and stand quite close having a loud conversation about the reserved sign and their name while you’re finishing your Hunters Chicken.

You try to continue your conversation but there’s an icy wind blowing from the other end of the table as the new people eye your plates and continue to tut and sigh about their group arriving and where will they sit. You decide to skip the banoffee pie and just leave as it’s becoming too awkward.

They tell a staff member in pink as obviously, it’s a situation and needs to be dealt with.

I’m guessing the people you plonked yourself down next to feel equally wronged.

If you’ve booked a large table for a special occasion with lots of guests - talk to the staff. If you want to just sit down and eat go to McDonalds.

Theimpossiblegirl · 26/02/2024 07:20

I'm afraid you were in the wrong. You should have checked in with the staff on arrival. Even in a Hungry Horse. And you were rude.

bakebeans · 26/02/2024 07:22

Any pub or restaurant I've been in including a Toby carvery. If a table has been reserved, normal protocol would be to approach a member of staff and let them know.
There could have been some mix up and if those people were at the wrong table it is up to the staff to sort it out?

They may have already decided to give you another table but forgot to move your reservation from that one.

Beautiful3 · 26/02/2024 07:22

It's always best to ask staff to clear the reserved table for you.

bakebeans · 26/02/2024 07:23

The manager however was very unreasonable to speak to you the way he did.

Londonrach1 · 26/02/2024 07:24

Yabu and very rude. Can't believe you did what you did. You wait and ask the staff. You were rude and wrong. Next time you wait and ask like everyone else.

JaneKatSuttonGoals · 26/02/2024 07:27

Manager was unprofessional, but I don't really understand why you wouldn't approach a member of staff and ask about your table - also if there were other tables made up or not your parents could have plonked themselves at one while you sorted the table situation out.
Hooe you managed to find somewhere else to accommodate large party at 4:30 on Sunday and didn't ruin the afternoon completely with your flounce.