Mumsnet posts which drive me mad

[Ilovecleaning]

Anyone hate these posts?

• really really really long posts
• long posts with NO paragraphs
• posts which start ‘ I have a friend, let’s call her Jane; her DH, let’s call him Sam… you can’t bloody well follow the post. Much easier just to say Friend and DH.

Any others? 😊

• My partner plays golf. Boo hoo now he is with me I don't want him to
• I don't want my MIL to meet her new grandchild for a ridiculously long time. I just don't understand why she would want to.
• I don't work but I want to spend money.
• 'Does he have SEN?' (when bad parenting or appalling behaviour is pretty obvious)
• My child is 'feisty/headstrong/boistrous' and nursery/school have commented. AIU to be offended
• I don't want my SC around at Xmas/special occasions. I want it to be all about me and my new little family.
• I won't sleep train/make DH do bedtimes 'because I just can't, it's all about me'.
• Using 'they' for a singular instead of he/she.

Where do i start.
Mums that cant clean there homes because they have kids or a baby.
Women can cheat MN says dont say anything man cheats LTB hes scum.
Post that starts with IS THIS ABUSE he swore at me no love it not abuse.
The poster the other day sounded like she couldent look after her OWN kids because her partner was going away for the weekend.
And Mumnetters that quote you if you get a spelling wrong.
Teachers that dont like it if one says they dont like teachers yet teachers bully that person for saying it.

"How much do you earn? Full of 90% bullshit about what posters earn. See also, how much is your house worth, how much savings do you have, how much do you have in your pension?" @SweetBirdsong

There was a thread last week about cars and one poster said she'd bought her 95k car with cash from her savings but would 'never look down on someone who couldn't do that'.

Gee thanks. I am grateful that you don't look down on my 10k Nissan. 😂

Bragfest threads - hate them all! It just gives the false impression that everyone in the UK (apart from you!) routinely chucks 100k at a new car purchase.

It’s sad that people feel the need to request that people are kind in the first place. Or at least aren’t openly unkind. Being disagreed with respectfully with or being offered a helpful counter position isn’t being unkind - that should be acceptable.

Unfortunatley there are a fair share of playground bullies on here that could do with the reminder of the difference between that and downright nastiness.

Anyone's graduate DC who doesn't want to work for the magic circle/big 4/city firm is unambitious and lacks aspiration.

The posts soliciting medical advice make me cringe so much. People could really harm their health asking strangers on the Internet.

OP’s writing “no judgement please” after describing their at best questionable behaviour. Er, no - it’s an open forum. If I want to judge you I will. I also hate its twee little cousin, “Please be kind”. It basically means “Don’t say anything even vaguely critical, even though I need to hear it”. Plus anyone who actually is planning to be deliberately unkind isn’t going to be swayed by being told not to do it.

Well put.

Another is at the end of a long, self-pitying screed, the OP "I don't even know why I'm writing this".

Oh, please. You know very well why you've just written that post: you want hair pats and sympathy.

A few months back I replied to a post about a child with sensory issues, and described a technique that worked for me as my child was very similar to OPs. Along comes a poster who says that there is evidence it can have an adverse effect on some children - fair enough, helpful advise. But the poster then said that I am out of order and shouldn't be giving misguided and damaging advice to the OP which may harm her child. I didn't reply but I want to rant about it now!! All MN advise is anecdotal ffs. If OPs want professional advice specific to their child they can pay for it. It really put me off for a while.

The ‘am I pregnant’ threads always seem to have in depth descriptions of the OP’s nipples and discharge.

I am not interested in either.

Another one everyone is in high paying jobs and always own buying or selling homes.
No one as ever claimed benifits
And you get eye rolls if you have a baby under 30 nothing said if your 50.
Also my DXH no hes not your dear he your ex husband my dexp hes a ex not a dear. Dd db dil ds dss dsd FFS just type it i dont want to learn morse code.
Oh and men are scum but your happy on his payday. And the men you cant stand and you dont want him near your child yet you run and chase him for Child maintenance when you split.
And the posters that always start with i have SEN or my child cant help it they have SEN.
Stop pulling the SEN card and using it as a bloody excuse.

I don't work but I want to spend money

Don’t work because…SAHM? Disabled? On benefits? How much money are we talking?

‘My mum is on her deathbed, my DH has just run off with the binman and my leg has fallen off. I am drinking 2 bottles of beer a night or less to cope with the pain. What can I do?’

These responses:

’Actually, it’s two bottles a night or FEWER.’

‘TWO BOTTLES OF BEER? YOU’RE A RAGING ALCOHOLIC. I have a sniff of an alcohol free cider at Christmas and that’s plenty for me.’

‘Why didn’t you leave him before you had children with him and he ran off with the binman?’

More from me:

OP describes a family member with a long history of forgetting details, missing deadlines, endless clutter, other behavior that screams out possible ADHD. Other people tell OP that this family member is a selfish loser who doesn’t care and should be divorced/cut off immediately, with no one mentioning the possibility of ADHD.

Or, on the other side: OP describes a family member and gives one single example of this family member messing up something important. Without asking whether this is a pattern, other people assume ADHD.

OP, or OP’s relative, is pregnant in less than ideal circumstances. Although the post indicates that the pregnant woman intends to give birth, other people tell OP that the “smart” and “responsible” thing is to have an abortion. If the pregnant woman is the OP’s relative, people insist that OP sit this woman down and make her see that she needs to have an abortion.

OP holds a view that, while a minority view on Mumsnet, is fairly common among women. People insist that OP is really a man, because “every woman knows” or “no woman believes” full-in-the-blank.

Drives me up the wall when you read a thread from the start and there's a very obvious oversight/joke and a few posts later someone else makes the reference. Fair enough.

Then every few posts for the 27 pages of the thread someone quotes that post with "OMG great minds think alike" or 5 laugh emojis with "that's what I thought when I read OP!" And you're wading through all these pointless posts that bog the thread down.

This one is a bit more niche, but posts where the OP stresses how they “constantly” or “multiple times” have checked something with another person before it turns out the other person isn’t happy with it after all / has changed the plan. E.g. “I booked X restaurant for my birthday [blah blah] I checked with my friend constantly that she was okay going here. My birthday is tomorrow and now she says she hates it and there’s nothing on the menu she can eat, what do I do?”

I see it a lot and I always think, did you really check ‘constantly’? Wouldn’t most people just run it past their friend / DH / mother’s cat or whoever once and if they got agreement then they’d assume it was sorted?

I agree with this. However, I do get massively frustrated with posters complaining their partner is doing nothing to help with child number three, then saying “He was useless with the first two as well, but he promised it’d be different this time”. I mean, get a clue!

Agree on this one.

Ok, some may not be genuine - who knows if any are really - but who cares!

Besides, who are the spoilsports who report highly entertaining but harmless threads and get them taken down... Why!

When you get two or three people completely hijacking the OP's thread by arguing between themselves, scoring points instead of supporting the OP who, sometimes, then pleads with people not to have a row. It's wearying when this happens and can drag other posters' away from the initial point of the thread. 🌹

I was on an interestig thread yesterday which got pulled because this happened @Newestname002

This happened with a thread I started. When I emailed the mods, they accepted that it was real, but didn’t restore the thread because it was causing too much commotion. Which I was okay with, but I feel bad for anyone who wanted their thread restored and didn’t get it restored, even though they were genuine.

Me neither. Why no deletion message?!

@Isthisexpected I expected the worst had happened?

Didn't see the missing husband thread but have seen multiple threads started about it since - it was a troll.

Where's the deletion message then?

I hope that everything is ok. I saw some bad news on the local news which theoretically fitted.