Hate housesharing, feel like a loser

[Cantwaittomoveout]

Fortunately I'm able to leave in one month. I went through a breakup and had to move somewhere else, however I still owed a further two months of rent on the flat I shared with my ex so I couldn't afford much, hence moving into a houseshare.
I can't move back to my parents as they live 2 hours away from my job.
I don't have enough space at all for all of my belongings, everything is crammed into this room.
I am sharing a kitchen with 5 others so can't really cook much, been just buying a lot of stuff outside or eating ready meals which I feel embarrassed about.
I am sharing the bathroom, it's an all female household and somebody constantly leaves skid marks in the toilet, hairs in the sink and so on. I've reported this to the agency, they said they'd have a word but nothing has changed.
I can't even watch TV because I'm in an attic room and the internet signal is poor, having connection issues so I have to watch everything on my phone.
I can literally hear someone snoring on the floor below so have to wear earplugs every night.
Or having loud phone conversations at 6:30am.
I'm glad I'm not dating anyone as I'd be embarrassed to bring them here. I did my best to make it nice with decorations and such but the lack of space is an issue.
I'm 32, my anxiety is really bad ATM and I recently got rejected by a guy I liked, it's not the end of the world but it's adding to my shame.
I ended up financially supporting my ex which was one of the reasons I left, my savings aren't great, I'll be able to build them back up hopefully after next month but it's another thing that makes me feel ashamed.
Not sure what I'm looking for, just a vent really. The saving grace is that I've only got a month left.

I was living in shared accommodation at a similar age, I got divorced at 28, I lived in shared housing for a couple of years. I just needed to get back on my feet financially . As difficult as it was and I had jointly owned my lovely flat previously it was worth it. It’s a time that will pass. Decades down the line that period of shared expenses and savings really helped map my life. The stairs collapsed at one point in that house and we had mice in the kitchen. I have a good friend who spent so much on her rented flat because she refused to share it scuppered her financially for life really as she missed the boat when house prices rose.

Im sorry you are in this situation. It’s really hard for single people at the moment in terms of rent - unless you earn a really big salary. Hold on to the thought that it’s temporary, you will save up and you will get somewhere better. Focus on the future.

Many people have to house share for many years. Would you think they are a 'loser' because of this?

There's ups and downs to house sharing but I can sympathise, especially when it's not part of your plan. It's not easy but I hope you are least have nice (and tidy) housemates?

This is the just the start of your next chapter. Count down the days until you get to move out. Fingers crossed the rest of the year looks up for you

Thank you for understanding me. I just feel shame every day ATM, I'm very fortunate they are letting me leave end of March as the tenancy was supposed to be until June.
I used to cook a lot in the flat I shared with my ex, this does not feel like my home in any shape or form, and I do feel like it's difficult for single people.

I rarely see them, we have no living or dining room, no communal area. However as mentioned one of them keeps leaving the toilet in a dirty state and it's disgusting. Thank you, it's been a rubbish start to the year.

why do you feel shame about house sharing? Sorry you aren't coming across well here at all.

My ds is 29 and in a house share. He’s an NHS professional but just can’t afford anything else at the moment. He doesn’t want to live at home with us at his age - and I understand that, he wants his privacy and independence.

I know people in their 50s in house shares, it's pretty common

Sorry but why do you feel shame? Do you think you are above house sharing or that it is beneath you?

I am not saying there is anything wrong whatsoever with housesharing, I apologise for it coming across like that. I've just chosen a particularly bad one, but there are much better ones out there.

You complained to the agency about other people's messiness? Why not just have a conversation with your flat mates or if you don't feel you can do that, leave a sign up in the bathroom?

I don't know which person it is for certain, and it's more of a HMO thing than a houseshare, I very rarely see any of the others, we don't know each other, occasionally pass each other in the kitchen but that's all. A note is a good idea.

ah ok, yes I get you. You say you are with 5 other women and it's hell, that's why I never understand why so many ads ask for women only. Because some of the worst housemates I had were women and groups of women in a house share can be outright toxic and horrible.

I don't think agency will be sorting out houseshare mess. It is what it is

Agencies do bugger all with complaints, they could be managing 100s of other houses and a complaint about mess or other usually goes ignored.

It's often not easy living in a house share but I can't see a single thing here that you need to be ashamed of. You're getting back on your feet after a break up and that is all.

The toilet thing is not nice though - could you blu tack a sign to the door saying 'Please use the toilet brush after you use the loo!' or something similar

In ds house share they all club together for a cleaner once a week.

Presumably because she's lost what she worked hard for.

She's upset about HER situation. She's not criticising anyone else

You’ve made an intelligent decision to house share for a bit and get yourself on your feet financially . Îm sure some house shares are nice but yours doesn’t sound that great what with the dirty bathroom and the attic, i understand you not liking it . Remember it’s only temporary though, you have a job and a plan. Best wishes op.

Thank you. I'm lucky I have a full-time job I enjoy which pays ok. Maybe it's a good thing the man rejected me, I'd have not wanted to invite him here anyway.
Exactly, I am not criticising anyone else, I lived in a lovely houseshare several years ago when single, I've just chosen a bad one.
I'll be able to get a very small studio flat end of March hopefully, still be able to save but at least I won't be sharing, I'll try to look towards the future.

It doesn't feel like your home because it isn't. It's only a temporary fix. Can you take your mind off it by looking for and viewing affordable flats or studios near your work, that look fresh and well kept? Start planning your future and just get through the next few months.

Agree. You have been at great pains to tell us that this is a brief and shitty phase in your life that you will soon be leaving behind and moving on to much better things...what does this imply about the many people for whom sharing is a long-term choice or necessity?

I would recommend steering clear of dating for a bit until you have moved not because you need to feel ashamed but because you need headspace to move. Good luck.

It's all temporary. Can you apply for jobs back where your parents are?