Postnatal visiting AIBU

[Showbel]

Hi I'm currently pregnant with my first, due in a couple of months. I am trying to prepare for a long & complicated labour bc my body is awkward and knowing my luck things will go that way!
My partner will be with me during labour, I've been with him almost 10 years, trust him 100% which is why I don't know why I feel this way, anyway I'll carry on,

We have quite a large family and I imagine a lot of them will want to come and visit after on the postnatal ward, I know there's set visiting times on the ward which is fine. (I think it's open visiting for partners, 2 other visitors during visiting times) I will clarify with MW in a couple of weeks.

I'm getting a bit worried though bc my partner said outside of visiting times for relatives, he will just pick up the baby from the cot, carry her outside in the hospital corridors for family to meet her.

I don't want him to do this. I explained I might not be able to join him depending on how I'm feeling and tbh I don't want to go walking round in cold corridors with our baby. And I want to be there when family are meeting her it's a special moment.

I told him I don't want him just picking up the baby and taking her elsewhere. It's chaotic for a start. I said if I wake up from a nap, for example and the baby isn't there I might panic. I want the baby to stay in the cot but obviously can be taken out of the cot if someone visits us on the ward to hold etc.
He said I'm being unreasonable because it's his baby too.

We can't agree on this. Please feel free to tell me I'm being unreasonable and help me to see sense. Maybe it's just my protective instincts kicking in already? I know I won't feel this way when we go home. But in hospital it just seems right for me and baby to stay together? AIBU?

Have to agree with @SwingTheMonkey and @SouthLondonMum22 on this page.

Nor am I keen on the way some on MN leap to "red flags".
It's not unreasonable at all for a new Dad to let a new Mum sleep if he is able to comfort the baby at any point..
However, it sounds like both OP and her partner are "imagining" what will happen / what things will be like rather than working things out as they go along, like most couples do with their new baby. Until you are in the situation, you have no idea what you will feel like.

A year !!- if a father isn’t an equal parent from day one, he’s going to be a waste of space as a father.

Not true. There’s more to being a good father than being an equal parent. Unless you think that men who work away from home, eg in the armed forces, aren’t good fathers.

You might not go to the postnatal ward anyway but they won’t let him do that. You’re not allowed to just carry the baby around and they put an electronic tag on until you’ve both been discharged.

Your anxiety isn’t unreasonable.

It’s there because your partner is behaving in a very controlling way while you are at your most vulnerable. Threatening to take the baby away while you are sleeping is a frightening thought, and he’s clearly far more bothered about exercising his parental ‘rights’ than the security and wellbeing of the baby.

Next time you see a midwife or other health professional, mention his threats about taking the baby from you- they can keep a close eye on you if they know your partner is unsupportive/controlling/potentially abusive.