Triggered / Resilience / Decline

[ChiefEverythingOfficer]

AIBU to think that being uncomfortable is a part of life and that resilience is a really important part of mental well-being and the ability to deal with life when it's a shit show.

There are vast swathes of the planet which are affected by poverty, war etc. I bet people in those areas aren't triggered. Rather they get on with making the best of what may be grim situations.

I will go out on a limb and say that we shouldn't have to censor ourselves on the off chance it may UNWITTINGLY upset somebody in earshot and that trigger warnings are not helpful.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5014738-trigger-warning-miscarriage-did-i-cause-my-own-miscarriage

Here’s a thread about miscarriage. It has a trigger warning because women who are pregnant might not want to read about the topic, same for those who might have recently suffered a miscarriage.

Why was the OP of that thread wrong to use a trigger warning, and do you really not see it as helpful ?

If the thread was just called “did I cause it” or “was it my fault” then you’d maybe go in there and read a post about a subject you are actively trying to avoid for your own sanity and emotional wellbeing.

I fail to see why it’s bad to be considerate towards people.

AIBU that trigger warnings are not needed? That the triggered have a choice to walk away.

That's what a trigger warning is for - "hey, fair warning, I'm about to talk about this subject, if you don't like it don't click 🤷🏻‍♀️"

YANBU. Totally agree. Theres no resilience in society anymore. Hopefully it’s a phase and will
pass!

Agreed. And (quietly, as its frowned upon..) the rest of us are rolling our eyes internally when you go on about it. Because if you have anxiety and can't then answer the phone, it just means more work for the rest of us.

Well she says in the title “Did I cause my own miscarriage” so an additional warning of any kind that it’s about miscarriage seems utterly pointless.

Trigger warning for what, though?

Trigger warnings for talking about mental health issues? Crimes? Physical health issues? Bodily functions? Eating habits? Bullying? Celebs?

And if so, a broad warning or do we need to be more specific?

Because we are adults and should be able to assess a situation (be that a TV Programme, social media post, this post, water cooler conversation) and decide if we want to engage with it.

This whole trigger warning rubbish is often very self directed and I daresay attention seeking.

We all have crap to deal with in our lives. We can't expect health and safety warnings for day to day life. Nor do we need them.

You sound like you don't understand what it's like to have to PTSD or C-PTSD.

To be upset is not to be triggered. To be upset by something is a necessary part of life, of course we all need to be resilient and cope with being upset and distressed this is part of life.

To actually be triggered - in the psychiatric sense - for those of us with PTSD from trauma, it's destabilising, it can leave you unable to function. It's an illness - and as we go through our day, it's an empathic and compassionate act to help us manage our triggers. We're not avoiding them, we're titrating them, allowing us to accept and sit with and work with them slowly.

TLDR: PTSD exists, it's a psychiatric illness and nothing to do with resilience or not wanting to be upset!

Exactly, a 'trigger' is so personal anything could be one. I remember when it was a trigger thing to have a phobia of photos of holes... mn was full of posters triggered by that! What happened to that?

You’ve still not said where the harm is in adding a trigger warning though.

I think you’ve seen a small percentage that take it to the extreme/are vocal about it and leapt to the conclusion that everyone is like that.

The harm is that negatively impacts resilience. The expectation that the world should treat us with kid gloves is a slippery slope.

😂
I’m always surprised by how many emetephobes are on here.
Nobody likes sick 🤷🏼‍♀️

I've actually only come across trigger warning on MN - never seen one elsewhere. I dont think they reduce resilience because the nature of some thread titles is you dont know its about child death, rape etc til you opened it. There are lots of reasons you might not want to engage with that topic at any point and can avoid them.

I also dont think resilience is some inner core streghth thats a constant state of being. It about the support and strategies you have in place to bounce back from a given difficulty. I am resilient to redundancy because i have insurance, savings and my partner earns too. I am not resilient to other things and some things i might be resilient to one day but not another.

Maybe it’s always been there but now society makes a bit more room for it? Instead of insisting we all conform to exact types. I think it’s better to be able to say when things are bad. Because one person hasn’t experienced a thing, doesn’t make it untrue.

I don't think trigger warnings are needed if the thread title is clear, like in the miscarriage example posted above. Otherwise, they're a handy shorthand for warning people who don't want to read a thread about various upsetting things, who might otherwise have clicked on it.

Ok, I'll bite.

In some people who have been exposed to traumatic situations, when those memories are triggered they have what are called non-epileptic seizures.

www.sth.nhs.uk/clientfiles/File/pd3922_NonEpilepticSeizures.pdf

So this looks like an epileptic seizure - they lose consciousness, fall to the ground, shake about a bit, wet and shit themselves.

So some people who have been raped, or abused, or in a traumatic situation, if they are triggered they will do that. In a public place.

Why the actual fuck would you not want people to be able to stop that? It's fucking embarrassing when you lose consciousness in a public place and come to to find everyone staring at you and that an ambulance has been called.

Yes, I've been abused. Yes, trigger warnings are helpful for me. FUCK off with this resilience shit until you have learnt some basic fucking humanity.

Well said. I honestly think those who think exposing people with PTSD to trauma triggers will magically make them resilient are guilty of “tabloidthink” and believe the world is black and white, that there is one true common sense, and it’s “woke” or broke. Single-threaded thinking patterns for people with little empathy and no emotional intelligence.

Very well put and trigger warnings help with this.

By providing trigger warnings, you're giving people a heads up about the content and they can then choose whether or not to proceed with full knowledge of what they're going to encounter.

You see, you had my sympathy until you got aggressive. If you had read the thread you would see that I took have suffered through a traumatic event.

The difference is that I am resilient enough not to need conversational warnings.

The alternative, for example is you could just have ignored this thread. You were not compelled to read or comment, and if you had chosen to ignore it, you would not have been 'triggered'.

Sorry you have had it tough, but frankly it's your problem to deal with.

I'm an emetephobe and it's not about "not liking sick". It about avoiding specific foods in case they make you sick, checking restaurant hygiene ratings before eating there and pre-screening the menu so you can choose low risk foods, it's about binning any food that might be 'off' or that looks or smells unusual in case it's gone 'off', it's about days of anxiety when there's a sick bug going around and symptom-watching in case you have it, it's not wanting to travel because the only thing more panic inducing than vomiting is the potential of vomiting somewhere away from home.

My fear of vomiting is linked to PTSD too.

Sorry you have had it tough, but frankly it's your problem to deal with.

Well aren't you a peach. Good of you to start showing your true colours before the end of page one though.

So people only deserve sympathy if they are 'nice' and 'kind'?
And because you OP don't have physical consequences of your own traumatic experience, those who do suffer them should just shut up because it's their own fault and d they should be more 'resilient'?

Gotcha.

(For clarity - I'm in no way triggered by your thread, but I have enough basic humanity to understand that different people react differently to traumatic events and it is not in any way their fault if they do suffer involuntary physical or mental health effects)

I agree with you in some parts op. I do think there is a current culture where people expect others to tip toe around them which is very self centred, and instead of trying to find ways to overcome their fears and anxieties, they expect the world to adjust for them. But the world is a horrible and unpredictable place and that won’t happen. I had terrible anxiety myself a few years back and was borderline agoraphobic, but I forced myself to face up to it, which did mean putting myself in horrible situations and feeling like shit, but eventually it worked and life started to feel easier. There needs to be some self management as well, like if you’ve just been through a miscarriage is a website where the majority of posters will be mums, and will be taking about children really for you? It would be far better to have a break than to accidentally stumble on a post you might find upsetting.
I’m not totally compassionless though, in real life I know what my friends and family are going through and would steer clear of topics I know could upset them.

Are you resilient or have you just internalised your trauma? Either way, you don’t get a medal for it. Just because you deal with something in a certain way doesn’t mean others should do and it’s nothing to do with resilience. Like I said before, trigger warnings do no harm to those who don’t need them.

“The difference is that I am resilient enough not to need conversational warnings.”

You might be confusing resilient with healed.

I don’t think trigger warnings have anything to do with resilience. If you’re in a PTSD condition severe enough that your trauma response can be triggered, then you’re already past the point when resilience will help.

Resilience is something else - it’s a quality which would have made the person who underwent trauma less likely to experience it with post traumatic stress - it comes much earlier in this process. Trigger warnings are for when we’re already waaaaaay past resilience.