Triggered / Resilience / Decline

[ChiefEverythingOfficer]

AIBU to think that being uncomfortable is a part of life and that resilience is a really important part of mental well-being and the ability to deal with life when it's a shit show.

There are vast swathes of the planet which are affected by poverty, war etc. I bet people in those areas aren't triggered. Rather they get on with making the best of what may be grim situations.

I will go out on a limb and say that we shouldn't have to censor ourselves on the off chance it may UNWITTINGLY upset somebody in earshot and that trigger warnings are not helpful.

Women are vain and shallow with shrieky voices and moan about everything.

Sorry just trying this uncensored thing out, is it fine ? A good way to be ? Or is it only to be used against people YOU don’t like ?

I wouldn't be triggered by that, I would tell them to stop talking SHITE and fuck off.

You have missed my point.

It’s not a constructive comment, but it’s just an opinion and by itself shouldn’t cause harmful mental distress nor render others unable to respond (in kind or otherwise) or to go about their life.

Transwomen are women. Not a threat. Go about your day.

Uncensored.

I would say your response would constitute losing emotional control and is the very definition of triggered

triiiiigggerrrred 🎵

Again. You MISSED the point - which is about trigger warnings.

Again - that is a statement of opinion. I don't like it or agree with it, I may choose to rebut it. I would not be triggered by it.

There are vast swathes of the planet which are affected by poverty, war etc. I bet people in those areas aren't triggered. Rather they get on with making the best of what may be grim situations.

I suspect ou’re wrong about this, OP. I think there are huge amounts of untreated mental health issues affecting people who live in poverty and war zones. I’m only just beginning to understand how badly my grandparents (Now long dead) were impacted by WWII and how their subsequent relationship difficulties and unhappiness were driven, to some extent, by their experiences then. And they were resilient and did knuckle down and just get on, it doesn’t mean they weren’t hugely affected and things in daily life didn’t bring back the challenges in ways that caused knee jerk reactions they felt they had no control over.

I grew up in poverty and am also pretty resilient, according to friends and family. But there are things related to my upbringing that cause me to react on a physical level that don’t cause others to react that way.

I agree that trigger warnings as such aren’t a good idea (and some research has shown that they can increase anxiety as, IIRC, people worry about what they are going to read and that heightens their reaction when they do read it!) and that we need to actively develop resilience rather than avoiding challenges. But I don’t think that is done simply be pretending things don’t do long lasting harm to our psyche.

Oh that is where we differ then. I am not triggered - I am responding.

I certainly would not need to be warned.

Possibly an unpopular opinion but I agree with you @ChiefEverythingOfficer

As a society I think we are a bit fragile about our feelings. Sometimes you've just got to deal with shit things happening, it's not everyone else's responsibility or problem.

Obviously targeted and intentional acts to cause harm or upset are not included!

Sure, but things really can reawaken recent trauma. You see it on here all the time regarding threads about rape, miscarriage etc - very traumatic events which can genuinely cause affected people to relive some of their emotional distress, particularly if they haven’t fully healed from it.

That's very thought provoking. I am not saying we should ride roughshod, to be clear.

Personally I have experienced a terribly traumatic experience - I witnessed a death in close proximity - the person who died was terribly disfigured by a high caliber weapon.

I don't like seeing anything related to suicide or gunshot wounds to the head. I don't expect or want a trigger warning though. It would not help me to pretend it didn't happen. It did, it was shit.

Go on - what did you say? How bigoted/racist/misogynistic was it and are you hoping that people will agree and make you feel justified in saying it if you ask in a vague enough way?

I was triggered by Sort Your Life Out (BBC) this week and I don’t mind saying it. I was resilient enough to make it through loved ones dying of cancer in quick succession, but I am not going to be able to watch a tv program showing two wee girls that lost their mum to cancer.

I didn't say anything. The thread is about NOT needing trigger warnings.

I am quite aware that it's not ok to spout '-IST' shite. What I don't think we need is a warnings.

That wouldn’t trigger me. It’s either someone making a stupid joke (they’d get one back) or a sexist prick (they’d be ignored/told to fuck off).

Not triggering, just factually wrong.

I agree OP. I wish people would just bugger on in silence sometimes unless it was life/death/bankruptcy. It’s hard to feel optimistic about anything when all you hear is about people’s mental or physical health struggles, how ‘terrified’ they are of everything, and of course the inevitable poster who jumps in with their very dark story during what was otherwise a lighthearted thread. I wish we could wind the clock back 20 years, it was so much more of a laugh.

Surely that would mean reframing an awful lot of discussion or disagreement as a “triggered” reaction?

Eg:

If I said “The earth is flat”
And you said “Don’t talk shite”

You would be triggered?

What rubbish.

I am practicing my resilience and ability to convey my point on this thread.

Reiterating:

📢👉AIBU that trigger warnings are not needed? That the triggered have a choice to walk away.

❌I am not endorsing racist, misogynist, age-geist, sexist opinions or saying we have a right to go round shouting hate from the rooftops. I am saying that offensive, shit things are not made ok with a trigger warning.

How can you walk away from a trigger if you don't know it's going to be there?

I don’t understand why you don’t want “trigger warnings” though? What harm are they doing? Why do you want people to get upset when they don’t have to be?

I agree completely. I'll get flamed but a lot of today's navel gazing and molly coddling is (IMHO) broderline narcissistic.

I understand there are significant mental health issues out there. I have a friend who had an horrific childhood, and I can see how this affects his life everyday. However, for a lot of people, the triggers and anxiety often seem to be attention seeking and indicate a complete lack of resilience and willingness to try. Sometimes you just need to get on with it. Life isn't easy or fair for most people, and it never will be.

It's not easy to work alongside this new sickness affecting every other colleague

Never known do much 'anxiety' all of a sudden!