I am being catfished right now!

[qualitychat]

I received a friend request on Facebook just now. This is definitely someone catfishing me. He comes from Austin, Texas but has pigeon English. He is a Marine Engineer living in Sweden. He does a very dangerous job. He is a nice looking man, he has sent me a photo. He tragically lost his wife 5 years ago due to medical negligence. Am I wrong in stringing him alone?

Different setup but same results. Not some vulnerable, lonely woman!

https://www.thecut.com/article/amazon-scam-call-ftc-arrest-warrants.html

This need to start claiming racism etc off the back of these kinds of threads is tedious.

So We’re not supposed to talk about the fact that most of these romance scammers are based in Africa then? And predominantly Nigeria because it’s a shitty attitude to have? Never mind that it’s a fact and Nigeria is well known for being the home of multiple scams.

It must be horrible for the genuine Nigerians who live there, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that it’s true.

Similarly the fact that India is home to multiple scam call centres as is Pakistan.

So maybe we should just say nothing then. Don’t mention where most of them come from because that’s racist and has a shitty vibe.

Don’t toy with them because they might have been trafficked.

How long will it be before someone comes on here and says that maybe some of these people genuinely are lonely and to toy with them is just cruel.

We get enough of the do gooders come out on the threads where OP’s have had a message from a tour guide or taxi driver they met in Srilanca/morocco/<insert country of choice> ten years ago telling their sob story, and posters jump on it saying that he obviously felt OP had no-one else to turn to.

These people are scum. Every last one of them.

Maybe if the governments of these countries clamped down harder on them the countries wouldn’t earn the reputations they have.

Oh there are plenty of opportunities. Next time you get a call from Microsoft or your bank saying your details have been compromised, just play along. Get sillier and sillier.

They didn't engage with it. He hacked them and got all their details, family details, friends' numbers, friends' fathers' numbers. I watched that programmed too and my take was that the laws need to change quicker, not that women are to blame for engaging.

@swayingpalmtree oh yeh, the tinder swindler, it made me think that being decidedly average protected me from the belief that a pilot / international business man of mystery from a rich family (he implied that and used their surname despite being no relation) would ever be interested in me. But these girls were young, beautiful, blonde, had friends, lives, homes, jobs et cetera, I guess their thinking was ''why wouldn't he be interested''. I think the communication through second language is key. I read the conversations and thought, how boring, but it was through both of their second language. I think you lose sight of how boring a conversation is when it's in your second language. I know I'd be quicker to get bored in English than I would in Spanish.

I had a Instagram request last night from a total stranger. A quick google lens upload sent me to the scam diggers website. If vulnerable friends or families are being hooked by this scam, it may be worth showing them the website scamdigger.com
Oh, my guy has now changed his name 😉

Oh that’s so sad

But these girls were young, beautiful, blonde, had friends, lives, homes, jobs et cetera, I guess their thinking was ''why wouldn't he be interested''

Exactly- they could have had anyone they wanted and they had supportive friends and families so it's not as if they were totally alone and desperate for company. I must admit, I did wonder at times what they saw in him, he came across as really slimy to me and yes, a lot of his communication had very little substance to it, it was all superficial BS like "I miss you baby" etc

I was cheering for the woman who got revenge at the end by selling all his designer clothes under the pretence of sending him the money and then kept it for herself. Bloody good for her!

Sorry OP but He sounds like the same one my colleague was in a relationship with two weeks ago. He dumped her very quickly when she got too keen which is a pity as she was going to ask him for money 😁

There are thousands of them, op knows this.

Scammer

I can't remember where I saw or heard this, possibly Qi? Apparently there is an advantage to the scammers in being reasonably obvious from the start. It saves them spending a lot of time working on people who, once the request for money comes, will shut them right down. Better to select initially for those who are more likely to go the distance.

From that point of view I think there's actually a big difference between stringing them along Vs immediately blocking them. If everyone who recognises the catfisher immediately wasted a chunk of their time the enterprise becomes less profitable. If everyone immediately blocks and moves on they get to spend their time on victims likely to actually hand over money. What you're doing is a public service OP.

I watched that last noght

this is coming about because of social media. It never ceases to amaze me how much Information that is on a public forum!!! Don’t put shit on any social media platform whatsoever. These people target those.

don’t post photos! Don’t have your real name. Doesn’t matter if it’s locked down. They’ll find it so stop doing it so they can get into your systems.

what he did was the worst cyber stalking ever in the uk. He is one of the only people in the uk with a long sentence. There’s handfuls at that.

you need to stop posting stuff

wgatever you do. Do NOT POST PHOTOS OF YOUR CHILDREN!

I can’t shout this stuff loud enough. Have really complex passwords. All basic stuff but the best advice is don’t put it out there in the first place.

Love this! “Luckily I have a spare house”✨ 🏠✨
Only the wolves are a bit bothersome…

“Have you ever have sex ones” 😂🤣

I agree with you. The laws need to be changed and the SM companies who facilitate these scams by not having tight enough security should be held to account.

I watched that programme last night (Can I Tell You A Secret?) and wondered why when they were first approached by an unknown who 'had a secret' did they keep chatting? Why not just ignore? In his case, I doubt ignoring would have made a scrap of difference - he was maniacal about them and destroying the lives of total strangers. But I did still think - why not block from the start? I'm not victim blaming or shaming. I'm just intrigued how different people react.

In the Guardian article above, she says some of the women who fell for love scams were lawyers, doctors, CEOs. I found this SO hard to believe. How could a high-functioning brain not tell you that there is nothing of substance in this relationship?

My FB page largely consists of photos of DH, sons, their partners and the grandchildren. I am 79.
Mysteriously I seem to be an object of desire by assorted American high ranked military widowers and retired orthopaedic surgeons.

Again, I did wonder what those women understood of social media when they were saying: he knew my dad's name, my sister's name - all this private information, so it had to be someone I knew. And I was thinking, it was never private - every person and event in your life was on SM and accessible worldwide to anyone with an internet connection. People don't realise how very public their lives are.

These scammers are scum and not very original with their “story”. 🚩Not sure if anyone has read the book Keanu Reeves is not in love with you which is very funny and where the author strings along the scammers and has spoken to women who have been scammed.

I know a lot of us are here for the amusement factor, but I think it's important that anyone who gets approached like this should blow it open. The more people who read about these scams, the more who see that it's all fake - that their 'love letters and poems' are ripped from a central site, that the stories are all the same, that the photos are stolen - then the more chance there is that people will see a scam before it happens.

People who are scammed tend to feel shamed into keeping quiet about it. So nobody else finds out about 'Derek Michael' who is a surgeon in Iran with one son....

Oh, and it's widowER for a man. A widow is a woman.

@ItsTapasTime I had that same guy send me a FB friends request earlier this week - I recognise the photo!!

Wow - talk about timing! Just left the thread for a minute to check my emails, and there's one there from the dvla saying my MOT has run out. Unusually for me, I happen to know when my MOT is due but I think a few oriole might fall for this one. Beware folks!

You can set your privacy settings so that no one (public) can find you on Facebook.

You can also set all your privacy and security settings so very few people can find you at all, and avoid being tagged in friends' photos or posts.

If you run a business of any kind though, you need an open profile on Facebook so people can contact you. And these scammers will come through on business pages too (I've got an Author Page, and you would not BELIEVE the number of attempted scammers that hit that one up!)