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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To complain about policeman

30 replies

mousey24 · 23/02/2024 07:23

I divorced my violent ex several years ago. He then continued to abuse me through access visits until he lost his access to our child. He's now joined a forum linked to my hobby and is posting content I find distressing. I cannot block myself from seeing his posts or block him from seeing my posts. The admin won't ban him as he's just referring to "the ex". Admin say that could be about anyone and none of the other people on the forum will know it's about me. But I know it's about me.

I contacted a stalking helpline who advised me to report it all to the police. I filled in a lengthy form and sent it to the police. It detailed the past history, what he is doing now and how it is making me feel.

The police telephoned me and told me I needed to attend an in person interview. I was offered someone coming to my house or attending a police station. I chose the police station option as I didn't want the street curtain twitchers wondering why I had a police car parked outside.

I got to the station. A very disinterested officer took me into an interview room. He said he'd read my notes and nothing could be done about my ex's behaviour. He bluntly told me to delete my account from the forum and find another hobby. I was upset by this and said it was unfair that I have to keep moving on and cutting friendships to keep out of the way of an abusive man. He just slouched in the chair, repeated what he'd said and kept saying that's what he would do. He said there was nothing more the police could do and ushered me out of the police station. The whole interview lasted a few minutes.

He had no listening skills, no empathy and made me feel like a nuisance for being scared of my ex stalking me. I left feeling incredibly low and wondering what the point of having to go to the police station was.

Is it worth complaining to the police about him? Or should I just get over it and move on as he suggested?

Sorry for all the questions. I'm not in a good place mentally right now and I'm struggling to work out what to do for the best. I just want my ex to leave me alone so I can live my life how I want to.

OP posts:
NotoriousABC · 14/09/2025 07:16

Ladyzfactor · 14/09/2025 04:13

Trans people have an statistically an extremely high probability of abuse and violence. Your comment is disgusting but I honestly expect nothing less from this site

And women don’t?

porridgecake · 14/09/2025 07:36

Ladyzfactor · 14/09/2025 04:13

Trans people have an statistically an extremely high probability of abuse and violence. Your comment is disgusting but I honestly expect nothing less from this site

Please would you post a link to the statistics for the UK.

MiddleAgeRageMonster · 14/09/2025 07:56

NotoriousABC · 14/09/2025 07:16

And women don’t?

Obviously not, you can only ever be subjected to violence if you identify as a woman (regardless of whether you still have fully working male apparatus between your legs).
It's just another way society has pushed women to one side, Victoria being stalked, threatened and harassed by an ex isn't worth looking into. Victor, dressed like a parody version of a 1980's prostitute gets called a nasty name by a few teenagers whilst walking down the local High Street and out comes the full force of the law to defend this man's right to pretend to be a woman. Even if 6'2 250lb Victor loses his cool and wallops one of the kids that was name calling and by some miracle got sent to prison he would be okay, he would be the fox in the hen house and would have free reign doing whatever he wanted with his fellow inmates.
Even pretending to be a woman a man cannot experience womanhood, the odds are still stacked in their favour!!!

Ladyzfactor · 14/09/2025 08:32

You do know that the whole trans vrs women thing is just to distract you from the fact that people in power don't what to help either of us?

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