School detention for forgetting a ruler?

[Wizardo]

Just interested - how many people have secondary school aged kids whose school gives a detention for forgetting basic equipment like a ruler?

I wonder does it really teach kids to be organised. Surely it just means disorganised people get lots of detentions? And feeds anxiety?

My schooling in the 90s felt pretty strict but this seems borderline bonkers. My dd currently “can’t borrow a school library book for the rest of the year” as she’s so anxious about getting a detention because she handed her last book in two weeks late. So now we are visiting our local library instead to provide her with books to read! I have obviously told her to just get the detention over and done with but she is adamant and determined to avoid it.

vote Yabu for No detention given
and Yanbu for Detention given.

It depends. How many times has your child forgot something? In our school if they forget equipment 3 times they get a detention. Seems fair, why should teachers have to provide equipment?

Tbf she deserves a detention for handing in a library book 2 weeks late - that’s what I would expect to happen. YABU for pandering to her by using the local library instead - she should just get the detention over with (consequences for her actions) and get on with it!

With the ruler I think it depends how many times it had been forgotten. Once is a bit OTT but several times fair enough.

Multiply that by ten, each lesson and it gets really annoying.

They get a negative/behaviour point and 3 strikes and detention. This could be for forgetting a stationery item, having shirt untucked, walking wrong side of corridor anything really. But if caught vaping they just get isolation for 1 day. Fighting is isolation for 1 day. Swearing is also a negative. They get positives for holding doors open and handing books out, which is basic manners really

If one pupil forgets it disrupts the class. Either the teacher has to provide equipment (do they need to provide enough of every item for every pupil in case they all forget everything), the pupil has to share the equipment with someone who remembered it (thus giving neither the full use of it) or the pupil gets a substandard learning experience because they're missing it.

A detention sounds like a fair punishment as it will encourage children to try to be more organised.

In the OP's case, the daughter is discouraged from borrowing a book to avoid a detention if they fail to return it on time. That's the system working as intended, the OP is inconvenienced by having to take her to the public library, and this type of inconvenience may sometimes lead parents to encourage their children to be more organised.

As others have said if it happens regularly it’s a real pain. What happens if none of them can be bothered to remember their stuff?
It sounds like it would be more helpful if you could try and find her some systems that mean she is forgetting less things. A spare set of equipment that stays in her locker at school? Does she use reminders for things like library books. Local libraries fine you for late return and can stop you borrowing if you constantly return things late or not at all.
Kids will forget things, adults forget things, in the real world that has consequences. It’s not a big leap for school to also have consequences.
I would also be taking the drama out of the detention.

I have a friend who’s DD has ADHD and her teachers have a stash of stuff for her as part of her “reasonable adjustments” (she has to return them at the end of class). Her anxiety would be through the roof otherwise.

It’s a tough one.

@Chocolatebuttonns cross posted!

I definitely found that public shaming and punishment cured my ADHD and led me to being a shining beacon of organisation for the rest of my life.

Oh no wait, actually it was crippling anxiety and intense internalisation of being a failure which led to a serious suicide attempt at 14 and lifelong self-esteem issues and depression.

I think it's warranted. They need to remember to organise themselves and prepare for the day ahead. It shouldn't cause anxiety. If anything, giving them the tools to prepare and plan for the day ahead is part of life skills and should ease their anxiety knowing they have planned ahead and are organised. If they need help with this then help them. When I have to go into the office I have to remember to pack my bag, make sure my laptop and lunch is ready the night before and generally get everything ready so that I turn up the next day ready to work. My employer wouldn't be impressed if I turned up having forgotten my laptop and phone.

My children's school seldom hand out detentions from what I can gather. Definitely no detention for forgetting a ruler. I think the super strict schools are becoming more common. It wouldn't have suited mine they would just feel stressed and anxious.

When you see it set out like that, it is truly grim. Isolation disrupts their learning but it has needed to be introduced because after school or lunchtime detentions are given for really minor things. If a ruler etc is forgotten several times the suitable reaction is for them to have to report to head of year or some such every day for a week with said equipment. If we have to have isolation at all it should only be for highly disruptive behaviour

It is OTT, unsure why spares can't be available, perhaps people could donate rulers, I personally have tons of old stationary sitting around. The spares were available in my Grange Hill style London Comp in the 90s, no detentions. If you broke it on purpose, yes detention.It is one of these huge fusses over nothing, incredibly controlling and worsening children's mental health from the constant surveillance and punishments. I wouldn't be punished at work for forgetting a pen so why do this.

Our school pretty much never gives detentions - you’d have to do something “properly” naughty to warrant one. Forgetting stuff just would get an eye roll and you’d borrow something from school / someone else who has extra.

Also no rules on how to walk in corridors and uniform issues they’d just be asked to put it right with no further consequences. Basically they’re expected to behave like adults and are treated as such.

Taking this approach seems to work - there aren’t particularly any behaviour problems and when there are the other kids seem to disapprove and it stops pretty quickly.

(I will admit it’s a small, independent girls school so maybe easier to control a smaller population)

Things were very different in the 90s @Goldenbear.
There is a huge funding crisis in schools these days, as has already been pointed out upthread.

Our secondary has standard cards now, they get a mark for missing equipment, incorrect uniform, lost standard cards etc

3 marks equal a detention

I don't make the rules

I have however unintentionally washed a standard card

But forgetting your laptop isnt the same

If the child had turned up without their entire school bag for the day that would be the equivalent of forgetting your laptop, because they wouldn't be able to do a whole days work.

This is more like the equivalent of turning up to a meeting without a pen and instead of someone passing you one they tell you you have to sit in a meeting room for an hour to teach you not to forget a pen again

I mean you might not forget again but for some people in particular the level of anxiety they would have going into each meeting stressing about their pen would not be conducive to getting the best work out of them

At the school I work at, if the kids don't have the basic equipment they get a detention. Certain kids (some SEN for example) are on a 'Reasonable Adjustment' list and don't have to do the detection. I don't think there is a detention for forgetting to return library books. I think this is all fair.

From the teachers perspective, I gave spare equipment but invariably students will intentionally damage it, break rulers, show no care. I'm in a nice area and it's not a rough school. I count stuff in and out as it also gets packed away and then the next lesson not returned so my supply reduces.

For frequent flyers of forgotten equipment I will first contact home to get parental support to help remind them to pack stuff, if it still doesn't improve then it is a detention. Yes more effort for me but my spare equipment stash comes out of my pocket and I'm fed up, and can't afford to keep providing this stuff, no budget left for the school to provide it.

How else do you make teenagers start to take responsibility for being organised, yes I do take into account individual needs but on the whole my main issues just can't be bothered.

Our school library had a huge number of unreturned books last year, I can't remember the number but when you looked at the cost it was immense.