To not want my 18 month old's face licked by a random dog?

[CitrusBun]

Every morning we take our five year old and eighteen month old children to pre-school through a small local park. The park has a concrete path on it, and we do not stray from the path to the grass either side.

Every morning, there are two adults there with Labradors who are roaming off their leads. I don't have an issue with the dogs being off their leads, but I do have an issue with one of the dogs consistently wandering over and licking my eighteen month old's face. We don't know the dog owners, I've never suggested this approach is welcome, and my eighteen month old simply freezes and has never giggled, smiled or welcomed the approach.

I haven't yet overcome my Britishness to say something, but I will do tomorrow. Before I do - AIBU to have a problem with this? I fully appreciate the dogs aren't dangerous (AFAIK) and that some people like dogs doing this. But doesn't my eighteen month old have the right not to just be licked by a random dog? Or by default is this just accepted behaviour?

I should point out that the owners seem to understand this isn't welcome, because they tend to say their dog's name in a disappointed voice. But they don't make a move to stop him or apologise or anything like that.

Look forward to it.

Well, I kinda do.

But then I also don't?

I have complex, subtle feelings about it.

Clearly appropriate and necessary in this case too - thank you.

What an odd thread.

Very funny thread. Dog ones make poeple go crazy, see also if you complain that someone else’s cat has shat in your garden or eaten the birds.

do tell us how your interaction with the pesky labs goes !

yes it's been an interesting morning

OP you used the word "consistently" in your OP and you didn't say that you actively move your child away when this "consistently" happens. So people are rightly questioning that. The first thing I'd do with my 18 month old is whip them up into my arms the second I saw an unleashed dog bounding towards them. If it became a "consistent" pattern that I could predict, I'd either 1) speak up and tell the owners to get their dog away from my child, 2) carry my child through that area until dogs were gone, or 3) choose a different route. Most likely a combination of 1) and 2).

The dog owners are out of order, but your approach comes across as far too passive.

That was a pretty good answer OP 👍🏻

Yes - I didn't quite realise what I was getting into. Lessons learned for sure.

Thanks, will do. I mean let's face it, I can't imagine it'll be any worse than this morning has gone.

Fully valid points, and I appreciate the way you made them. I've usually done #2 for a while when this has happened, and they seem to get the point afterwards. It just frustrates me that they obviously don't see this as enough of a problem to stop their dogs doing it permanently. That's clearly because I haven't done #1, but will do tomorrow.

One good one, a hundred bad. I'll take it and call it a day I think

You are not being unreasonable. You should have made it plain before now you do not find it acceptable. When i was small a dog i new well and had petted loads of times decided to bite the end of my nose off. You cannot be too careful.

I’m a lab owner and I’d be horrified if he licked a child’s face. If I saw your child again, I’d be putting him on a lead (or calling him to my side) until you’d walked past.

Yes - I didn't quite realise what I was getting into

😂 sorry OP but its 1/10 - and I only give you 1 point because its keeping me entertained at work!

I am actually a dog lover but my neighbour's dog does this and it's so gross. My little boy makes it very known that the dog isn't welcome when it approaches as he's been taken by surprise too many times! I think my neighbour is embarrassed by it as they don't say much when it happens, I've made comments to make it clear it's not welcome and always feel on edge when we're near the dog as I need to be ready to jump in front of my kid if it gets too close. You're obviously not BU but just make it clearer next time you see these people that they need to keep the dog away, or get in front of your toddler before the dog gets near them.

Valid, and will do from tomorrow. Thank you

Clearly you're one of the good ones, and I wish I could swap you for the ones I have!

It’s not Britishness preventing you from saying something. I’m British and would have told them off the first time, not anticipate that they would call it away despite not doing it 100% of the previous times.

The owners are BU but you need to pick up your child or stand in between the dogs and toddler.

Frankly it's 1 more than I thought you'd give me, so forgive me for seeing it as not entirely negative

I think this is the exact situation I'm in, except my little one hasn't done what yours has which is fair enough considering the size difference and his lack of experience. Will rectify tomorrow.

To be fair they have gotten the point previously, and I know I missed this off in the thread earlier and the (fiery) responses since. What's lacking I think is an understanding on their part that this is never going to be received well, and it surprises me that they don't know that.

Tomorrow I'll make it clearer.

😂

Managing to be both annoying and patronising

I’m glad to hear it.

So many dog owners think their dogs are the centre of the universe and probably think it’s cute/funny/cheeky blah blah that their fucking ‘fur babies’ are ‘making friends 🙄🙄🙄’ with people. Is rude of them to assume that you and your family are happy with this unwanted imposition.

As you are not I hope you tell them tomorrow. It’s disgusting

I think people are giving you the kind of strong comments which you clearly weren't expecting ( one of the ones you accused of being a troll certainly isn't because I've seen her username on here for at least ten years) is because many people are shocked you didn't say anything to the dog owners the very first time, let alone let it happen again and still not say anything. It just seems so incredibly passive when it comes to protecting your child.

Am a dog owner and I'd be appalled if my dog did this to a child.

Not all children are comfortable with dogs.

Not all dogs can be trusted around children.

Dogs spend half their lives sticking their noses up other dogs butts.

You are absolutely within your right to tell the owners to control their animals.

I'm sure lots of the people who've given me "stern advice" are long term members, and I'm sure they didn't mean for me to get as upset as I did when I read the comments. But while I appreciated advice, and understand that I hadn't done enough in this case, I reacted very badly to what I felt were wider assumptions and attacks on me.

What I take from this is that it is very clear I am not being unreasonable, but can be unreasonably prickly when it comes to assumptions people feel they are entitled to make about my wider parenting skills, and will bear this in mind for the future.