To not want my 18 month old's face licked by a random dog?

[CitrusBun]

Every morning we take our five year old and eighteen month old children to pre-school through a small local park. The park has a concrete path on it, and we do not stray from the path to the grass either side.

Every morning, there are two adults there with Labradors who are roaming off their leads. I don't have an issue with the dogs being off their leads, but I do have an issue with one of the dogs consistently wandering over and licking my eighteen month old's face. We don't know the dog owners, I've never suggested this approach is welcome, and my eighteen month old simply freezes and has never giggled, smiled or welcomed the approach.

I haven't yet overcome my Britishness to say something, but I will do tomorrow. Before I do - AIBU to have a problem with this? I fully appreciate the dogs aren't dangerous (AFAIK) and that some people like dogs doing this. But doesn't my eighteen month old have the right not to just be licked by a random dog? Or by default is this just accepted behaviour?

I should point out that the owners seem to understand this isn't welcome, because they tend to say their dog's name in a disappointed voice. But they don't make a move to stop him or apologise or anything like that.

No I'm not, or at least that wasn't my intention. My intention was just to check AIBU about something. The majority of comments seem to agree I'm not being unreasonable, which is great.

However where I differ is that I don't feel "stern advice", if that's what you want to call some of these posts, is helpful. There have been plenty of helpful, supportive comments and I appreciate those. I see Mumsnet as a collection of people who spend all day being supportive to their little people, so hoped to receive a little support as opposed to "stern advice". For those who have given that, thank you.

What does that even mean?

Yuck. I have two dogs. I don't let them go near kids because I know from a little persons point of view they can seem big and dominating. A parent may ask if the child can pat the dog which is fine, but I'd never let my dog approach a child.
You really need to say something. That you didn't first time and they now think it's ok.
Some fig owners really are oblivious. Yesterday I had one on the leash and a dog came up and there was a bit of growling on both sides - the owner was trailing behind and I told her there was growling - ie get your dog away from mine! She just smiled vaguely but made no move to pick up his lead and take him away! Luckily they lost interest in each other but really!

No this isn’t acceptable. My dog loves children and he would do this too, it’s his way of showing affection. Which is one of the reasons I never let him off the lead unless there’s nobody around. I’ll never understand why people think it’s ok to let their dogs approach random children. A lot of children like dogs but some might be terrified and that’s just not fair. A Labrador or similar would look absolutely huge to a young child as well.

Appreciate the nuanced take. Very clearly I haven't expressed my dislike loudly enough, but I wanted to check first that there wasn't some unwritten rule that I have to be OK with it first. They absolutely know it's not welcome, but perhaps they don't know how unwelcome.

You're clearly one of the good dog owners, and on behalf of people like me - thank you!

Incorrect, learn how to read or return to under your bridge. Either is fine.

Not your intention to be nasty?

It's interesting you're a man. You feel more confident bullying mums on mumsnet than standing up to the dog owners.

Appreciate the nuanced response, and the way you control your dog - thank you!

‘but I do have an issue with one of the dogs consistently wandering over and licking my eighteen month old's face’

Posters on this thread have read this in the opening post and assumed that the liking is a frequent occurrence. The OP responds and states that it has only happened a few times. The OP is very assertive on here but hasn’t spoken up to the dog owners. Wanted to post if unreasonable to do so, of course it is not unreasonable.

Is this thread a wind up?

Not my intention, and I apologise if it has come across as such. I feel some of the "stern advice" I have received has been unfair and verged on personal attacks, which I have not responded well to.

It is not. It was created as an attempt to see if AIBU, which I am clearly not. I received some helpful nuanced responses, which I was grateful for, then received some more "stern advice" which I felt verged on attacks, and responded badly. That's about where we are so far I think.

You’re unusually rude to be honest, but I’m not really sure why you are getting so get up? Do you feel under attack because others wouldn’t let a dog lick their child’s face?

what I would do is pick my child up and ask the owners to call their dog back. If they didn’t I’d repeat because just letting the dog slobber her wouldn’t be an option.

Exactly this

Op shouldn't have allowed it to happen for a second time

Good grief - why on earth have you allowed this to happen? You need to get between your child and the dog and gently but firmly push dog away saying 'No - Away!' in an increasingly loud voice. Look sternly at the owners and if they don't pick up on your unhappiness ask them to call their dog away.

I have Labs - they eat poo and other disgusting stuff. No way would I let them lick my face!

I believe that dog owners should keep their animals from coming uninvited into the personal space of other people.

I also believe that parents should protect the personal space of their children.

• Dog owners should not let their dogs approach strange children - as others have said it can be scary for children as well as unhygienic etc and is just poor behaviour
• However there are always idiots out there that either don’t know or don’t care that their dog is being a hazard and (in their eyes presumably) is “just being friendly” - so would just bite this in the bud OP and like others have said, when you see the dog approaching shout (politely) for them to call their dog back. And then if that doesn’t happen you then move child or get in the way etc.

An annoying situation and I hope your little one is doing okay and you both enjoy your walks 😊

I feel under attack because of some of the specific language used, but I appreciate that maybe this is just Mumsnet "stern advice" which I wasn't particularly welcoming of.

That's what I did, and that's what I've done before. But what I haven't done, and wanted to check I wasn't being unreasonable to do, was to speak proactively on it.

I have relied on Mumsnet multiple times over my children's life, and this is the first time I've received treatment like this. Perhaps it's also the first time I've needed treatment on Mumsnet like this, but it's still been jarring for me.

Yes will definitely be doing this from now on, and I appreciate your nuanced take.

Thank you, appreciate this

I do, albeit I assume the owners will do what you do and have good sense. Clearly I have been wrong to assume that they will, and I appreciate what you said.

What's your obsession with nuance about, OP? I'm not sure you really understand it.

You don't seem to understand the obvious points pps have made - if they suggest you might have some responsibility in this.

Have you just learnt the word nuanced OP?

I understand that I have responsibility, and I understand the points. I just haven't appreciated the more "stern advice" I've been given, and chosen to focus on the advice that expressed things with more...nuance to it.

It's great in scrabble

😂

Next week: How to properly use "nuanced" in a sentence.

Sorry OP but no way in hell does a dog get that close to my child- I pick them up and the give the owner a piece of my mind.