To think there have to be some clearer reasons for the rise in school attendance problems?

[FloorWipes]

Inspired by this article https://unherd.com/2024/02/the-tragedy-of-britains-school-refusers/

How specifically has the pandemic affected things? Why is the environment so inhospitable to the neurodivergent?

Many reasons. For starters we are listening to our children more, which can only be a good thing. Parents are keeping their dc off school and trying to work out why they are school refusing instead of dragging them in to school kicking and screaming. There is the pandemic which has caused an increase in mental health issues. Students who would have been in special needs schools 30, or even 10 years ago are struggling in school. Long waits of 2+ years for autism/adhd assessments. Lack of funds means that there are less TA's and students who need 1-1 are having to share a TA. Which is great for my 10 year old who has learning disabilities because he is paired up with one of his best friends who has similar needs and they really enjoy working together. Not so much for a child who can't cope with noise and gets paired up with someone who stims loudly. Is it just school refusing we are talking about it absence in general? Because I think that with the schools closing during lockdown and the teacher strikes there are more parents who no longer feel guilty about term time holidays. Then there are the parents who keep their child off school for a cold in case it's covid. And the ones who send their child to school when they should be at home to get their 100% attendance or because they are under pressure at work. Which means half the class catch it the next week.

If it were a contagion then my son would be in school as that is where all his friends are. He is the only one EBSA.

I wanted Dd to have some friends which is why l didn’t want EOTAS.

EOTAS doesn’t have to equate to no friends. That is an extremely narrow and incorrect view of what EOTAS can be.

I think that this is more or less what I was going to say. That plus days of teachers strikes just detaching some children when the links are already considerably weakened.

Well where was she supposed to find them?

Home Ed groups were all aimed at GCSE or under.

It may be a ‘narrow’ view. But I know nothing about it, could find no info on it, and my LEA don’t like it.

Perhapa you’d like to share where posts 16 students educated at home meet other post 16?

So judgemental.

You do realise EOTAS doesn’t have to be the child sat at home, don’t you?

Many EOTAS packages don’t include any time spent at home. Many include DC accessing APs, tuition centres, sports/arts/chess/gaming/social groups, accessing the community…

No l don’t know. But she wouldn’t be able to cope with all that.

She wants to go to the same place every day. And I suspect the things you are talking about are aimed at under 16. It would also be up to us to take her to these places as she won’t travel alone.

Also, and I respect everyone's right to strike, but last year's strikes didn't do schools any favours when it came to parents thinking about when to take holidays. I think it was about 8 school days last year that some schools were shut for. Almost two full weeks. So it does make parents laugh when they get letters explaining how important it is for children to be in school every school day - but it didn't matter them missing almost two weeks due to the strikes. I was very thankful my kids' school only closed for the first two strike days and then managed to keep open for the rest. And even then, even though for years I've done my best to have my two oldest kids in school as much as possible, never taking term time holidays, never getting appointments during the school day where possible, always making sure homework was done, we had a family member visiting on the second strike day so I let my boys not do some of the assigned work so that we could all go out for lunch. So I can well imagine some parents now thinking, sod it, let's go on a cheaper term time holiday.

Agree with this. I can only imagine my (very loving and kind) parents’ reaction if I had refused to go to school.

safe to say I’d have been frog marched in.

Indeed. DD2 wants to go to school and be with her friends, but can't manage it at the moment.

No social contagion at home either, DD1 was not school avoidant and did really well, as did DH and I. And we used to really believe in state education, DH was a school governor until recently for about ten years.

This. My son is being assessed for asd and is almost impossible to get into school.

I have an autistic daugher who was a chronic school refuser and I have a very anxious son who is also not keen (partly, I think, because skipping school was 'normalised' by his older sister).
However I really don't understand why threads like this are hijacked by parents of children with ASD etc with a chip on their shoulder and brushing aside the fact that some children do not have a good reason for skipping school and are just doing it because they can.
Parents of children with a good justification for missing school (which is usually mental-health or ASD based) are not being criticised as far as I can see, but they always appear telling others not to criticise them because they don't know what they are talking about.
I moved heaven and earth to get my daughter into school and I often failed. My view was at some point in the future, she would have to do something she didn't want to and found difficult, so making school officially optional for her was not a good foundation for the future.

EOTAS doesn’t have to be at home or can include a mixture of provision at home and away from the home. Packages are bespoke to individual needs, whatever is suitable and meets DC’s needs.

I suspect the things you are talking about are aimed at under 16.

You suspect wrong. EOTAS packages, including provision away from the home, can be for all age groups, including in your LA.

It would also be up to us to take her to these places as she won’t travel alone.

Parents can not be compelled to deliver, facilitate or organise any provision in an EOTAS package. Transport and an escort can be provided.

It is irrelevant to your DD anyway, because it is obviously not inappropriate for provision to be made in a school for her, therefore she doesn’t meet the LA threshold for EOTAS. I was just highlighting it is incorrect to think EOTAS = no friends.

safe to say I’d have been frog marched in.

Thanks for that understanding response, @justcallmebettty 🙄

Most parents have tried frog marching their kids in. Clearly you know bugger all about it.

In our case it got to her getting out of the car and running away from school or running away from home as she was so fearful of it. Once it got to that stage, and then she got a bit bigger - 5'10" and ten stone+, no frogmarching was possible and everything I read advised that it was entirely counterproductive (as I had felt in my bones all along).

However I really don't understand why threads like this are hijacked by parents of children with ASD etc with a chip on their shoulder and brushing aside the fact that some children do not have a good reason for skipping school and are just doing it because they can.

Yes they fucking well ARE being criticised as everyone gets tarred with the same brush and so many parents are fined when their kids and they are really struggling, for a penalty which was meant to prevent term time holidays or parents who don't know or care where their kids are if not in school, who are very, very few.

Even in the latter case - how does the fine help the child? It doesn't.

I knew nothing about this.

So I’m not sure how it was a narrow view. I only knew what l knew which was nothing, despite endless research.

Have you ever been in a situation where your child is incredibly, incredibly distressed about going into school?

I used to think the same as you until I'd experienced it myself.

@BibbleandSqwauk thank you for the apology - you did misread my post but I was referencing another poster wanting flexi schooling as a right for every child and I was making the point that kids like my DS would use that in a way it isn’t meant for unfortunately.

i’m not sure I’m expressing myself clearly because I totally agree our school system isn’t fit for purpose (I work in it) but I don’t see how, with current resources, we could make flexi schooling a right. I think at the moment our resources should be spent on helping those with ND and other needs to access education that works for them.

My DS is not ND and doesn’t have needs - he’s just a kid who’s rather be doing anything but school. And I see his point - there are so many more useful things he could be doing with his time than learning to regurgitate pointless facts that he can google in a second. But we are where we are 🤷‍♀️.

Oh and to those posters saying “frog march them in”, I’ve worked with families where their kids have tried to throw themselves from a moving car to avoid school so yer, frog marching isn’t really where they are 🙄😬.

It is a narrow view of EOTAS to think EOTAS equals no friends. You obviously disagree, which is obviously fine. But I stand by EOTAS does not have to equal no friends and to think that does is a narrow view of what EOTAS can be.

Some with EOTAS don’t have friends. That’s more about the child’s needs and wouldn’t change whether they attended a setting or not. But many with EOTAS do have friends.

Mine did this too. She also tried to wrestle the steering wheel from my hands. I had to call the police on a few occasions.
However, I still think the starting point should be children are expected to go to school.

This is a very simplistic view.
Do you think all of us with children with EBSA haven't frog marched our children in, 40 or 50 times? Haven't shouted and threatened? Haven't cried ourselves? Haven't dreaded every bad day? Haven't spent 4 hours a day for months on end supporting our youngsters getting up and dressed and driven them in to facilitate their attendance, only to find the school can't get them in to lessons? Haven't lost jobs or had to cut down hours?

At their worst, my child lay in a foetal position on the bathroom floor for an hour after I had run the bath, laid out clothes and towel etc. Couldn't take their hands away from their face as they were so disgusting that no one must be allowed to look at them. Shook like a leaf crying and clinging on to me at aged 17 when I managed to get them in to school for a planned meeting. Tbh by that point my main concern was whether they would survive at all, not whether or not this might impact GCSE results.

If it were as simple as frog marching a child in and wahey, problem solved, wouldn't that be wonderful? Spoiler - it isn't.

I think that’s a really personal decision and entirely down to the individual needs/abilities of the child and the family involved. I couldn’t judge as I’m not in that place.

Absolutely this. The teachers strikes were the “sod it” moment for me and many other people I know

You would have to be inhuman to have forced dd in when EBSA was at its worst. I wouldn't despite being told by SENCo and called into multiple 9am meetings (I think they thought we stayed in bed) Dd was vomiting,hyperventilating, couldn't speak etc. I ignored all their "advice" to force her in,take her phone,switch off the internet, make home life uncomfortable and followed my instincts and nurtured her, formally complained to CAMHS to get ASD specific support and went to SENDIST to get the school that best met her needs. Strangely enough once in an environment that met her needs dd attended every day happily with no sign of EBSA.