To not let 15 year old drive my children around?

[Shabooboogaloo]

Just back from half term with family in USA.
Where they live 15 year olds can drive (!) due to crap local transport.
15 year old DN has been driving to school, around town etc for 6+ months and was apparently excited to get to take my kids (10 and 12) out in the car to the local coffee place a few miles away. On their own.

Now - if they were walking I would have let the 3 get on with it, go out together but there was NO WAY I was letting them go out in a SUV in a city on their own.

Had a quiet word with the mom to that effect. Everyone thought I was the ultimate buzzkill and a bit insulting to the 15 year old. my offer to go with them was shot down. The trip didn’t happen.

YABU - fun police! It would have been fine and the 15 year old would have been able to handle it sensibly.

YANBU - 15 is too young to be responsible for young passengers, too young to be in the roads alone in fact.

‘No school buses? That is unusual.’

High school. The kids all drive.

If the problem were personal injury claims and cheap cars that would apply equally to all drivers.

No way. The issues are being distracted by excitable little cousins whilst driving (quite possible), and being responsible enough to act sensibly if there was an incident (not so likely but even so). Both of which are separate to driving competency that you need to pass a test.

@sleepyscientist If he's driving an SUV then he might be a bit safer, but any kid he hits is significantly more likely to die

What state is this happening in?
I find parts of this hard to believe.

No way.

i wonder if there is legislation banning taking passengers. I just looked it up and some of the States with very young driving ages restrict passengers to one/over 25/etc.

I would say she’s safe but I’d say I’d be the same when it came down to it

Omg no chance far to young and American driving tests are nowhere near as comprehensive as UK ones.

‘What state is this happening in?
I find parts of this hard to believe.’

Look up what age can you drive from in the USA and you will find many that allow 14 year olds, many more 15 year olds and all by16! As for passengers - it will vary from state to state and depend on age as in some say no at 15 but yes at 15 and whatever months.
This state does allow passengers and this driver does take school friends out and is likewise driven by friends.
Ithe family are sensible, have followed all criteria etc so I assume that the driver was/is allowed to drive my kids to the coffee place but I personally didn’t look up any county or state laws as they weren’t going anyway!

It's better than here from my experience.

There's currently a petition in the U.K. to limit passengers for young drivers.

For the reason of concentration etc.

I can see the merit in the argument.

No way would I be allowing a 15yo drive my children around!

Probably.

Disabled children can drive at 16yo in the U.K. doesn't mean having passengers who can distract you is safe

It’s 16 over here and many pass their test ready for 6th form.

I whirl think USA roads, big wide roads, no children or pedestrians walking about would be a lot safer than UK dark nights with gangs of teen agers rammed in a car.

I think I would have let them.

Child seats?

I voted YABU because a 15-year old in the US that is allowed to drive legally is likely to be more responsible than a 15-year old in the UK that isn’t.
Looking at kids of 15 today and comparing them to myself at 15 in the late 1970’s I have to say that now they have fewer responsibilities than my generation had, and are much more infantilised here.
My parents left school at 14 and started to work - so they were grown up even earlier! Society’s expectations of children in theUK have now set the bar really low, IMO….

You can drive at 16 in NZ - used to be 15 until 2011.
Largely for the same reasons - enormous farms to get around and great distances to travel yet poor public transport.
The younger drivers, particularly in remote areas, were very careful - couldn't afford to lose their licence.
So would suggest it's a similar thing in the US and YABU @Shabooboogaloo for suggesting, whether you meant it or not, that this was a ridiculous idea. In esence, you've dropped a clanger on what is for them, a cultural norm

What is your experience?

US driving deaths per 100 000 of the population 12.9

UK driving deaths per100 000 of the population 2.9

Yet their driving standards are better?

Have you seen the difference between the tests we take?

‘YABU @Shabooboogaloo for suggesting, whether you meant it or not, that this was a ridiculous idea. In esence, you've dropped a clanger on what is for them, a cultural norm’

I’m not sure speaking privately to the mom was a ‘clanger’ but given their cultural norms include gun ownership too, I’m okay with saying I’m not happy with this one!

I get why they have allowed 15 year old to drive. Peer pressure, cultural norms PLUS the fact they used to literally drive the kids everywhere - school, sports, to meet friends etc absolutely nothing is walkable from their development - like I said footpaths.
in fact my going through the neighbourhood for a walk brought several locals out to see who I was and what I was doing!
If they go for a walk for exercise they drive to the park or riverfront or similar. They don’t walked out their front door and around the area.

I’d have said no but for the posters saying if the 15 year old has passed their test then what’s the problem?

im guessing those people do t realise that in a lot of states. Simply driving around a car park without crashing is enough to pass a driving test.
its not like that 15 year old has gone through the (generally much more intensive and rigorous) UK driving lessons she test.

I've taken a driving test in the UK and one in small town Missouri. They're in no way comparable. The idea that the driving test assures a safe and competent driver is fairly ridiculous if you know what it involves. Being able to start the car, turn the wheel and brake was about the breadth of it. It took less than 40 minutes to do my theory and practical test and get my licence and that included taking the photo and printing the licence!

I'm with you.

For all that the rules are different over there, and fair enough. A 15yo is still a 15yo. The temptation to show off to the younger children would be almost impossible to resist.

I didn't say their driving standards are better, juat that my experience did not match the statement that it is worse there.

I go to New York regularly and drive there. I've driven all over NY state, PA, VT, NH, and up into Canada, and found the drivers to be generally more courteous, more patient, and more law abiding.

You have to keep in mind the variances in the different states, so to quote an average of deaths per capita across the whole of the USA can be disingenuous. I suspect if you look at it that some of the bigger states have a disproptionate accident rate where people fall asleep at the wheel as opposed to having accidents due to lack of standards (although you could argue that falling asleep at the wheel is a lack if driving standards).

To me it's not that much about her age if she is a responsible teen. I would be reluctant to let any new driver (under 1-2 year) take my kids in their car.

Of course she would be insured.

The Legal age to drive in many states is 15.

Actually potentially safer to drive there with wider roads, easier parking etc.

I learned to drive at 15 when living in the US. And the roads in those rural areas are far safer than anywhere I have driven here. Also they tend to drive automatics so don't even have to shift gears.

BUT still the OP's choice as to what she is prepared to accept