To not let 15 year old drive my children around?

[Shabooboogaloo]

Just back from half term with family in USA.
Where they live 15 year olds can drive (!) due to crap local transport.
15 year old DN has been driving to school, around town etc for 6+ months and was apparently excited to get to take my kids (10 and 12) out in the car to the local coffee place a few miles away. On their own.

Now - if they were walking I would have let the 3 get on with it, go out together but there was NO WAY I was letting them go out in a SUV in a city on their own.

Had a quiet word with the mom to that effect. Everyone thought I was the ultimate buzzkill and a bit insulting to the 15 year old. my offer to go with them was shot down. The trip didn’t happen.

YABU - fun police! It would have been fine and the 15 year old would have been able to handle it sensibly.

YANBU - 15 is too young to be responsible for young passengers, too young to be in the roads alone in fact.

Also - the US driving test is NOT like ours. Ghe ‘ test’ was on a marked out route - a bit like cycling proficiency! No one fails…

It varies between states, but my DN's were driving at that age. Weren't allowed to drink alcohol until they were 21 though.

Absolutely not! There is no way that I would have allowed this either.

I started driving at 15 as well. Full drivers licence by 16. My mom made me start learning in the spring so when I took my final it would be in winter conditions. The learning conditions are often much stricter. They need to complete x amount of hours behind the wheel with an instructor, theory tests and lessons in a class setting, not just read a book and take a test. You have set staged tests after you've reached target hours etc. (State by state it differs and is been a very long time since I got mine so this may well have changed)

In my experience, those 15/16 yo are much more competent on the roads then the 17/18 yo here. They seem to be less cocky and sensible.

But hey, your kids, your rules.

‘YANBU - in most states they are on a 'probationary' license for a period of time and aren't allowed to carry others in the car with them. Is she allowed to take passengers?’

yes. It’s all legit. Some states allow it or counties within states allow it. Don’t forget they have guns and hunting etc for kids in a lot of states too - driving a car isn’t seen as a big deal.

Not a chance.

I would go as far to say 17 is too young to drive, even though I passed my test at 17. Of course we are physically capable of learning the skill by 15/16/17 but I don’t think you are emotionally mature enough. When I was in high school a number of people ended up in fatal car accidents due to racing.

Of course there will always be people in their 20s, 30s and beyond that drive like idiots but most people mature out of this behaviour.

I think that in some states in the USA, teenagers with a driving license are not allowed to drive with other young people in the car, because of the potential peer pressure and disturbance that might occure.
Something like that.
I don't know what the law is like in the state OP is writing about.

But not all young drivers aren't safe. Their reaction times are quicker for starters given their youth. I'm juat saying it wouldn't be a blanket no from me purely based on age.

Your kid your rules.

But as an American expat who still spends a great deal of time there visiting family in various areas, hardship licenses for 15 year olds usually come with strict restrictions - notably only being used to drive to work, school or medical care. Going for coffee would absolutely not count, and they could lose the license if there were any incident in route. Most states also have restrictions on drivers under ~17 having other minors in the car (besides siblings) because they are often a distraction for inexperienced drivers.

WOW!!! I just googled and yes, it says at Alaska and Arkansas you can start driving at 14!!!
I wouldn’t allow this. And I wouldn’t go into the car with 15 y.o. driver either. It’s madness.

I would have suggest going for a test drive with them (no kids). Some qyos are more responsible than people 10 years older.

No I wouldn't have let them either, also would have been doubtful if DN was 17. Perhaps if it was a very rural area where she was literally driving on a straight empty road but not in a city!

Far more serious accidents occur on rural roads. City driving is much safer

‘hardship licenses for 15 year olds usually come with strict restrictions - notably only being used to drive to work, school or medical care. ‘

to be clear - the only restriction is to do with time, not after 10pm or before 6am or something like that - til 16!
but they can drive anywhere, on any road and take passengers for any reason pretty much.

Theres no public transport! And no sidewalks. school is 2 miles away but off a massive road, so no option to walk as there’s no sidewalk, there’s no buses and as it’s a high school the kids mostly drive or get dropped off.

For me it would depend entirely on the 15 year old. I can see why they find your decision insulting but you are ultimately responsible for the safety of your own children.

Umm…that’s quite the broad brush there. I took my test (at 15 and after months of classroom and road instruction) all throughout our city - and the friend who went with me to take hers failed!

As to the question it would depend entirely on the 15yo for me but it’s up to you as they’re your children. I remember being really excited to be grown up and take my cousins and friends out but my DM put a grinding halt to my dreams til I’d been road safe for a year. 😅

I’m actually shocked that it’s legal for her to have 2 youngsters in the car with her.

When my kids got their licenses at 16, they couldn’t have more than one younger person with them for the first year. I think they may not have been able to have more than one passenger unless they were over 18.

Driving laws are entirely state-by-state in the US, so you must have been visiting an outlier.

But regardless, I think parents are a-ok to decline permission for their children to get in any car with any driver. Your relatives should have set that expectation with their teen and supported you wholeheartedly.

This, I don't think age is relevant although 6 months isn't very long to be experienced

This is a couple of years old so some laws may have changed … but yeah not unheard of.

States are generally trending towards more restrictions. When I was 15 I had my permit within a week of turning and the same fore getting my full license when I turned 16. Totally normal and expected.

https://www.verywellfamily.com/driving-age-by-state-2611172

Oh and my kids took their test on city streets. They had 40 hours of classroom instruction, 12 hours with an instructor and 90 hours of supervised driving. When they got their licenses they were good drivers.

But if you choose not to allow your younger kids to sit with someone that’s entirely acceptable.

I wouldn't any more than I'd let a young recently qualified driver take kids out socially over here. I agree American roads are wider and traffic slower. But having lived in a rural us state, drink and drug driving is pretty widespread.

My nephew is 15 and learning to drive in Spain. Whilst it might be legal there, he is quite immature. However, I think he will be restricted to driving small engined vehicles for a while.

I teach teens. There is a huge difference between 15 and 17/18 year olds. I'm very fond of my 17/18yo students as they have pretty much grown up and are mostly sensible. I can't say the same for all the 15yos.

@Shabooboogaloo I assumed you rode in a car while you were visiting… did it escape your notice you were sharing the road with 15Yo drivers and perhaps walking next them if you were a pedestrian?

I’m assuming you didn’t witness all sorts of accidents and mayhem caused by young licensed drivers?

Fair enough if you didn’t want your kids to driven by your niece…but histrionics over the fact she is allowed to drive is a bit much

There is a reason that insurance is so expensive for young drivers.