National Trust visit spoilt by overzealous staff or AIBU?

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Visited a beautiful NT country house today. Huge 17th century house with Capability Brown landscaped parkland. The house has lots of art by Van Dyck - one of my favourite artists and I was really looking forward to spending a couple of hours with DH wandering around in the beautiful spaces enjoying the peace and quiet. However, every time I stopped to look at a painting one of the staff would come up to me and start talking. This happened several times in every room we wandered into. I totally get the enthusiasm and expertise of the staff but I wasn't really interested in hearing about the Civil War etc., I just wanted to enjoy the paintings in peace. We do visit NT properties occasionally but have never found this to be a problem before.
The staff just seemed to be unable to read my body language as I was trying to walk away or indicate that I didn't want to talk or listen to them by not responding or engaging with them. Short of telling them to shut up it was impossible.
It was a very quiet day with not many visitors so they were probably bored but it was way too much for us.
AIBU by being a miserable bugger (I know I'm quite unsociable at times) or should I be allowed to wander round in peace? Perhaps they should give out 'don't talk to me' badges with the tickets if you want to be left in peace!

Try holidaying in a Landmark Trust property
Bliss

😂😂 Brilliant

I absolutely loathe NT volunteers. I am a member and every single time I go to one I get told off about something. Parked in the wrong place (no signs), not got the right membership card (they can look you up on the system but don't want to), taking two forks for one slice of cake (we were sharing). Last time I went I bought a mini kite in the gift shop then was immediately told off for telling my daughter we could give it a try outside ("we don't like kites on our properties" .... errr don't sell them then?!)

Honestly it seems like a load of busy bodies who enjoy bossing other people around. I would rather pay more money and have a positive customer service experience.

It was a couple of people, I noticed it because I’ve seen it on a few threads so I mentioned it. A few people agreed with me. So, yeah, whatever I guess. Not worth getting worked up about. Just another Mumsnet day.

I think this is very true. Not everyone who visits a historic site wants to learn interesting facts or have things pointed out to them. Lots of people prefer just to soak up the atmosphere and enjoy the experience of being somewhere unusual or beautiful.

The visitors don't owe you an audience though. They've paid and will visit in the way they choose to. I don't care about facts either. I don't collect them and I'm not usually that interested in the intricate history of a place. I just want to look at things, relax, enjoy the atmosphere. I couldn't care less about what happened in such and such a room in 1758 and what battle took place in the area etc. It's just a trip out to get out of the house to be honest.

Being talked at and forced to engage in unwanted interaction can be really uncomfortable and difficult for some people. Are these people supposed to be excluded from visiting these places? Even introverts, autists, the depressed, the bereaved and the disinterested are allowed to go on trips too you know.

I agree that the badge idea is great.

I am a guide in a historic house privately owned not NT and when people come into a room I say morning/afternoon and then I just say please let me know if you have any questions and then leave it up to them , some people love to chat and others just prefer to absorb the history themselves!

I don't disagree with anything you say either. I wouldn't dream of 'forcing' someone to listen to me when they aren't interested. I do my best to 'read' them when they come into the room. Tend to say something like Good Afternoon/Morning. Welcome to the (room I am in). I may ask if they have been before or comment on the weather ( the grounds are wonderful in good weather), or something equally friendly. Usually say something like 'Happy to answer any questions'.

But some visitors actually DO want to know more and enjoy chatting, which from all the posts on here, you wouldn't think so! Very demoralising to me as a volunteer, to be honest!

Why is demoralising? The people that want to engage with you will and you can enjoy your role
me wanting to be left alone is just that
its not a value judgement on you
to quote my teenage daughter "it's not all about you".

There are several posts on here saying that people hate Guides, in places. Of course that is demoralising to someone who does guiding. I don't disagree that some people want to be left alone and they should be allowed to do so, of course.

Sometimes I just go somewhere because they have nice trees and I like the scones in the coffee shop 😂

I always found the English Heritage places were more relaxing to visit. The NT always seemed like they were just tolerating visitors and were convinced you were going to end up misbehaving in some way so needed constant supervision whilst there.

I think a lot of the people you have had bad experiences there will be paid staff. They don’t normally use volunteers in the teashop afaik.

We went to the Auckland project and ended up discussing Spanish art with Jonathan Ruffer who endowed it with £160 million. I wasn't going to tell him to bugger off.

People don’t all want the same visit/experience.
Just like we are different types of learners.

Honestly if you try and tell me stuff, I’m not listening. I don’t take information well that way, I like to read it. It’s why there should be different types of interpretation available for people to engage with. I don’t think guides should be offended. You are there to look after the room and provide information for those that want it - not to give it to people who aren’t interested. However I think policy dictates you engage.

NT want you to take out a membership. Individual houses make money if you sign up at their house (they have targets, hence the hard sell) to make their budgets up. But if you want memberships and repeat visitors to shop/use the cafe, then you have to recognise they don’t want to come and be told the same stuff over and over.

NT is in financial trouble (hence cutting tons of staff) so they need to think more out of the box about why people don’t visit/have a negative experience.

We re the opposite.
We find NT more relaxing as there are less kids. EngHeritage have more castles and kiddy events. NT more old houses. So the former attract more kids. We went to EH when boys were young but quickly moved on to NT for a bit of peace, quiet and less fake staging.
If you’ve got young kids then yes EH more relaxing because there are lots of other kids around I suppose.

They never talk to me, I have to go up to them and do the excuse me could you tell me...

I must not look like an NT sort of person.

Yes we did have an EH membership when the kids were younger. They're adults now. They used to buy the little wooden swords in the gift shop then charge around fighting everything 😂

English Heritage sites typically have less stuff to break.

I once spent a morning at the entrance to an EH castle as my group was doing an event inside and they wanted one of us out the front to help tell visitors what to expect. All morning there was an EH staff member doing a massive hard sell on membership on every single person that came in. I felt sorry for her training for a career in heritage only to end up like a glorified double glazing salesman but even more sorry for the visitors who had to get past her to get in. I have never experienced quite such a hard sell with National Trust.

Generally I’ve found that I’m left alone at NT properties (and other similar non-NT historic houses and the overbearing guides are rare, of course they’re the ones that stick in the mind. I’m not keen on lazy generalisations about ageing, it equalling loneliness or loneliness itself being presented as some sort of character flaw. Why are any of us in the roles we are in, paid or otherwise? Probably for a variety of reasons.

Most guides just say “let me know if you have questions” and I think that’s enough. More than that every time you cross the threshold of another room gets a bit much. As mentioned by a PP, the more “problematic” guides generally appear at your side with an open question or statement about the room/house/contents rather than asking if you have any questions and this makes it more difficult to extract yourself from a conversation that has already started, without being rude. In those situations I usually respond with “how interesting, I’ll definitely come and find you IF I have further questions, thank you”, said with a smile and as stepping away. This is both definite and affirms the other person as having valuable information, because I don’t want to be rude, abrupt or unkind. It’s perfectly possible to close down a conversation without being rude.

I have chronically low frustration tolerance and an even lower boredom threshold so I often find I don’t stop long enough in many of the rooms anyway. I’m then kicking my heels next to the lavender bags and tartan rugs in the NT gift shop while my DH is still in the first room doing a forensic examination of a bit of carpet or a Meissen jug. You’re best off slipping into the room behind my DH while he keeps the guide talking ;)

Sounds like when you walk into Lush and immediately want to leave!!

An alternate problem... I was at the Royal Academy of Arts recently and asked a member of staff if they knew anything about the work on display in the room they were standing in. I had some questions about it. They said shortly, "No," and that was it, no further interaction, no suggestion where I might find information, no advice to ask another member of staff who might know anything about the work I'd paid to see.

Oh you lucky thing! That was the place I mentioned upthread, where we took turns to squelch round and take in as much as we could in half an hour. Such a fantastic place and the guides certainly seem to know their stuff, even when they aren’t the owner. I did have a lovely chat about Frosterley Marble and the other places I’ve seen it. We’ve plans to go there again and take longer to take in everything.

Seen this in action. On one occasion smiley older gent ran up the stairs past the tour group, no one had any idea who he was but the guide (having greeted him and literally bowed with his "Good morning my Lord") then spent some time regaling us with his life history from birth.

At one of the Royal houses, I actually had a room guide stomp off in a huff because I was insufficiently enraptured by one of the late Queen Mother's interior design ideas, even though I'd said clearly "their house their rooolz" (or words to that effect) You'd have thought I'd committed high treason.

@cookingwithabigail · Today 14:54

The visitors don't owe you an audience though. They've paid and will visit in the way they choose to. I don't care about facts either. I don't collect them and I'm not usually that interested in the intricate history of a place. I just want to look at things, relax, enjoy the atmosphere. I couldn't care less about what happened in such and such a room in 1758 and what battle took place in the area etc. It's just a trip out to get out of the house to be honest.

Being talked at and forced to engage in unwanted interaction can be really uncomfortable and difficult for some people. Are these people supposed to be excluded from visiting these places? Even introverts, autists, the depressed, the bereaved and the disinterested are allowed to go on trips too you know.

I agree that the badge idea is great.

Yeah this. ^

Maybe not with FUCK OFF on it though 😆 (tempting as it is!!!)

Maybe a 'code colour'... Like if you don't want anyone approaching you, you were a red circle badge. If you DO want to interact, wear a green circle badge. The size of a 2p piece. Make it a little sticky label. That would do.

@historygeek12

I am a guide in a historic house privately owned not NT and when people come into a room I say morning/afternoon and then I just say please let me know if you have any questions and then leave it up to them , some people love to chat and others just prefer to absorb the history themselves!

Perfect! That sounds ideal. And you sound nice. 😃

And of course, some volunteers are just like you, but it's the ones who are a bit pushy and chatty that people are a bit irked with.

Doesn't mean they are bored old foggies though!