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AIBU?

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Original poster

Eating apples in confined spaces

142 replies

Waking99 · 20/02/2024 16:28

I share a small office with a colleague who eats continually at their desk all day. It’s not smelly food so that’s not an issue, but it’s often crunchy and noisy foods like crisps and apples. I must have some form of misophonia I wasn’t aware of as the sound of someone eating an apple in a quiet room is unexpectedly unbearable and this is causing me a lot of stress! I also feel bad about having these feelings, am I unreasonable? I don’t think I can say anything to colleague I just need to find ways to deal with it? I assume this is a ‘me problem’?

I will leave the room when the food comes out usually, but on the occasion I can’t I feel so stressed. A small radio isn’t really enough to drown out the noise for me and I can’t wear ANC headphones all the time - for instance another colleague drops by to discuss a work issue, everyone is talking and office share colleague will open their bag and get out an apple to crunch and slurp over for the next 10 mins. I can’t leave the room mid convo so I am trapped there with the noise.

Is it really reasonable to eat apples or crisps in small spaces? I would never! 🫣

OP posts:
Catza · 20/02/2024 16:33

It's reasonable to be eating non-smelly foods but if you have misophonia, you can ask for reasonable adjustments at work. Or at least have a (nice) conversation with your colleague.

Herdinggoats · 20/02/2024 16:35

To be honest if one of my colleagues approached me about this and was really apologetic and said it was 100% a them issue and would I mind, I really wouldn’t be bothered at all and be happy to accommodate them. The approach would have to be right though.

Eurocampers · 20/02/2024 16:37

I dont get these people who eat all day. I would probably explain to them what you've said here- you have a form of misophonia and you're really struggling - rather than you have to keep leaving the room perhaps they could occasionally leave the room instead especially if you're mid conversation with someone else. Can you move where you sit on the office?

Eurocampers · 20/02/2024 16:37

Herdinggoats · 20/02/2024 16:35

To be honest if one of my colleagues approached me about this and was really apologetic and said it was 100% a them issue and would I mind, I really wouldn’t be bothered at all and be happy to accommodate them. The approach would have to be right though.

This. Worded better than I did it!

Hereyoume · 20/02/2024 16:38

Misophonia is one of the most underrated conditions.

I have it and sometimes I feel like punching something or screaming. So I understand your frustration. I don't think you can ask someone to not eat an apple without sounding like the office lunatic, so I would try any other coping mechanism.

For me it's repetitive sounds, DH breathing in bed next to me is enough to give me the rage, and if he starts to snore I have to leave the room. The sound of my own breathing is even worse, I have a sleep app on my phone that plays rain and wind sounds, it's saved me from committing murder.

Jeffjefftyjeff · 20/02/2024 16:38

I snack on ‘noisy’ food at work (radishes mainly), and would absolutely accept it if I was asked not to. Misophonia is a thing, and also generally we have to be aware of what we eat in the office due to allergies amongst staff so it would just be part of that. I think you might need to be specific (is quiet food ok?)

SurelySmartie · 20/02/2024 16:40

So everyone talking in the office doesn’t bother you but someone eating an apple does?

Icystars · 20/02/2024 16:42

Oh! There’s a name for it? I HATE when people smack their lips together and make a noise when eating. Drives me mad. Not really the crunching of foods though more the bad eating manners where people have washing machine mouths and smack their lips together? Have had it since I was young.

Deepdivesueandyou · 20/02/2024 16:42

SurelySmartie · 20/02/2024 16:40

So everyone talking in the office doesn’t bother you but someone eating an apple does?

They have misophonia....

RedPony1 · 20/02/2024 16:43

I'm a grazer, i can't imagine being told i can't eat non-smelly foods at my desk.

I cant think of anything soft i'd have?! (i dont have lunch, i graze on cucumber, apple, celery, carrots etc - all crunchy things!) So i'd have to be hungry and uncomfortable?

Tough one! One of you is going to be uncomfortable either way.

Portakalkedi · 20/02/2024 16:44

It's rude and selfish to eat noisy, crunchy or stinky stuff in a small space with others, especially if it's outside a meal time. Many people are just oblivious so you'll have to spell it out.

HemlockSoup · 20/02/2024 16:45

I feel murderous thoughts when forced to be in the vicinity of an apple cruncher. It just really triggers my fight or flight instincts. I’m worried one day I’ll fight!

Last week, a colleague started eating hummus and tortilla chips at 10am. My headphones went ON.

rainbowbee · 20/02/2024 16:45

I think I have misophonia and possibly high-functioning autism. That apple would annoy me too. The problem in my office is rustling like popcorn. I moved my desk (to be away from a woman who screeches). I also find noise cancelling headphones helpful. You can get earplugs which are very discreet for when the apple comes out.

NotTerfNorCis · 20/02/2024 16:45

Can't stand eating noises in the office. So repulsive, at a visceral level.

Lou670 · 20/02/2024 16:46

Get a job where you work alone then. Why should everyone accommodate your condition when they could have a condition where they need to eat regularly? Why should be the majority bow down to the a single person?

HemlockSoup · 20/02/2024 16:46

SurelySmartie · 20/02/2024 16:40

So everyone talking in the office doesn’t bother you but someone eating an apple does?

Yes

DramaticBananas · 20/02/2024 16:49

Tea and coffee and home baking aside, I don't mind if it's around lunchtime and not a hot or smelly food. Anything else is distracting. Plus eating at a desk means sticky desks, mess and crumbs. Boak.

You have to talk in the office - it's work. You dont have to eat at your desk.

RandomUsernameHere · 20/02/2024 16:49

Love the thread title Grin
I would find that annoying though. Would headphones be an option? Listening to music would block out the sound a bit.

RandomUsernameHere · 20/02/2024 16:51

Sorry just seen headphones not an option

DoubleBingo · 20/02/2024 16:51

Try Loops. I recently got some and they are brilliant. You can hear conversations but not people noises like breathing, sniffing or eating. I was wearing them on a plane last week and was calmer as a result where I'd normally hate everyone for their noise

FizzyStream · 20/02/2024 16:51

Why do people feel the need to snack constantly at work? Is it boredom or genuine hunger?

I'm probably in the minority but I find it weird.

I also have misophonia though and would hate the constant eating noises. I'm in an office with one other person and she eats her lunch in the staff room so not an issue currently for me.

Lou670 · 20/02/2024 16:52

I would suggest cutting out your social life too, just in case someone dares to bring an apple out of their bag. And don't go out meals, that would be torture for you.

WeeOrcadian · 20/02/2024 16:52

I have misophonia and Loop have been a godsend for me. They dull.noise down but don't block it

BeachBeerBbq · 20/02/2024 16:54

Plus eating at a desk means sticky desks, mess and crumbs. Boak.
If adult's desks gets like that, they failed in adult life (bar disabilities where spills etc can't be helped). I have never made my desk sticky, messy or had crumbs.
Device to prevent these is called a plate.

Meadowfinch · 20/02/2024 16:55

Is there anywhere else for them to eat?