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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Eating apples in confined spaces

142 replies

Waking99 · 20/02/2024 16:28

I share a small office with a colleague who eats continually at their desk all day. It’s not smelly food so that’s not an issue, but it’s often crunchy and noisy foods like crisps and apples. I must have some form of misophonia I wasn’t aware of as the sound of someone eating an apple in a quiet room is unexpectedly unbearable and this is causing me a lot of stress! I also feel bad about having these feelings, am I unreasonable? I don’t think I can say anything to colleague I just need to find ways to deal with it? I assume this is a ‘me problem’?

I will leave the room when the food comes out usually, but on the occasion I can’t I feel so stressed. A small radio isn’t really enough to drown out the noise for me and I can’t wear ANC headphones all the time - for instance another colleague drops by to discuss a work issue, everyone is talking and office share colleague will open their bag and get out an apple to crunch and slurp over for the next 10 mins. I can’t leave the room mid convo so I am trapped there with the noise.

Is it really reasonable to eat apples or crisps in small spaces? I would never! 🫣

OP posts:
WeightoftheWorld · 20/02/2024 21:24

FizzyStream · 20/02/2024 16:51

Why do people feel the need to snack constantly at work? Is it boredom or genuine hunger?

I'm probably in the minority but I find it weird.

I also have misophonia though and would hate the constant eating noises. I'm in an office with one other person and she eats her lunch in the staff room so not an issue currently for me.

For me it's a mixture of hunger - I'm just more of a little and often eater naturally, I can't manage huge meals so then I feel hungry quickly so need to eat again etc, but also a stomach condition meaning I do need to eat frequently or I get stomach pain.

Waking99 · 20/02/2024 21:25

Apple lady also does a performative loud yawn about 3 times a day which is also annoying.

You know like ‘AooohhhhjhahhaaAaaooAHHHHHH’ then she will exclaim ‘oh!’ after it. This also annoys me 😠

OP posts:
Snugglemonkey · 20/02/2024 21:31

ScierraDoll · 20/02/2024 19:15

Sorry, let me make sure I've understood this. You get stressed if someone eats an apple in the same room as you?
How old are you and how have you managed to survive this long?

I am 43 and I will immediately leave a room if anyone attempts to eat an apple near me.

mylittkeitalianhome · 20/02/2024 21:36

I thought that starting to wfh would save me from the agony of apple crunchers and -god forbid, open-mouthed gum chewers - but now DH works from home, so I have to passive aggressively leave the room every time he enters with a snack. I can so totally emphasise and I think noise cancelling headphones are the only way forward.

Waking99 · 20/02/2024 21:40

ScierraDoll · 20/02/2024 19:15

Sorry, let me make sure I've understood this. You get stressed if someone eats an apple in the same room as you?
How old are you and how have you managed to survive this long?

I think we have concluded that my mother has traumatised me through years and years of licking her fingers, hands, knife, fork, spoon, plate, crisp packets (cake cases are something else to watch her scrape every single last morsel from with her tongue 🤮) she also scrapes bowls and plates and pots to death, rubs her dry crusty feet together and clears phlegm from her throat loudly and frequently.

Yes I am an adult and no I don’t always run away from an apple being eaten but this is a small room and it gives me an uncontrollable visceral reaction I can’t control (to run away and feel physically horrible) and it is 5 days a week every week.

I usually survive by walking away quickly 😂

OP posts:
Rockshore · 20/02/2024 21:40

The agency that made that Pot Noodle ad should be closed down immediately 😩🤯

beAsensible1 · 20/02/2024 21:45

I’d get some earplugs or headphones for the office tbf.

I think asking someone to leave the office to eat small snack such as an Apple etc is a bit much.

Alalalalalongalalalalalonglonglilong · 20/02/2024 21:49

It's a tricky one but if it helps my Dh is no longer allowed eat apples when we sit down together. And I recently asked him to not vocalise his yawns so much.

Devonshiregal · 20/02/2024 21:51

Lou670 · 20/02/2024 16:46

Get a job where you work alone then. Why should everyone accommodate your condition when they could have a condition where they need to eat regularly? Why should be the majority bow down to the a single person?

I have misophonia and actually tend to agree. I’d never consider actually asking someone not to eat - except my partner who isn’t allowed to break, snore, eat and a whole host of other things. If they ate alll day fair enough but if it’s one snack between breakfast and lunch for example you can’t really say anything.

Lilysienna1 · 20/02/2024 21:53

I was so relieved when I found out my ‘thing’ had a name. I’ve had misophonia for as long as I can remember. My earliest memories of it are at around the age of 6, and my dad turning the pages of the newspaper used to make me feel angry / upset. Crisp packets are my absolute worst- my children have grown up eating crisps out of a bowl to stop the rustling, or ideally- out of earshot! I can’t go to the cinema and despise public transport incase anyone is eating, flicking pages of a paper.. or normal human noises like sniffing, breathing heavily… oh and people tapping loudly on their phones, laptops… the sound some shoes make. Honestly, I feel your pain and this would drive me insane. I handle it with people I know by simply explaining it’s a ‘me’ thing and that is a real issue, it has a name (normalises it) and that I don’t expect everyone around me to change their behaviour to suit me, but if I know them I would hope they would be able to support some reasonable adjustments- like not eating right next to me, giving me advance warning so I can use my noise cancelling headphones for ten mins etc.I also joke about it a little. A bit of dark humour and taking the piss out of myself to lighten the mood and not come across as being unreasonable in my expectations!

LaughingCat · 20/02/2024 22:20

Argh… I have this with my other half sometimes. Like, the sound of him chewing (with his mouth closed), is enough to make me so pent up I want to scream and claw myself at the same time. I have the same with the sound of him breathing, or feeling it tickle my neck etc. I keep having to remind myself that it’s a ‘me’ problem, and he has every right to exist. It’s not all the time, but when it hits, it’s unbearable.

No advice, OP, just empathy and moral support to stay strong through the ick!

Thursa · 20/02/2024 22:20

If one of the family walk into the room I’m in with an apple, I walk out. If you don’t have misophonia, you cannot understand. I was delighted to find a service streaming Cagney and Lacey, but had to stop watching because of the sound of Marybeth and Harvey kissing. I had never noticed when I first watched it but now…

Caerulea · 20/02/2024 22:31

Ooo I feel you here, it's hard to explain to someone who doesn't have misophonia just how unreasonably psychotic it makes you feel on the turn of a penny.

If it's something you've only just noticed then it's probably how they are eating. I could hear one person eat an apple & be fine, but another person eating it the 'wrong' way & I'm fighting off the desire to beat them to death with it. Or have a panic attack. One of the two. It's like my body just doesn't know whether to scream or cry.

I also find it is much much worse if I'm stressed.

I really don't know what you do, if you speak with them & they switch to snacks that aren't crunchy but they are still noisy?

(@Thursa what the actual FUCK is it with putting a mic near enough to hear kissing sounds on TV?! Like seriously!! Do you remember the Army ad of the woman whispering while she snuck round her house? Muted every single time)

Jook · 20/02/2024 22:39

Rockshore · 20/02/2024 21:40

The agency that made that Pot Noodle ad should be closed down immediately 😩🤯

It genuinely makes me feel ill. It’s so disgusting. I have to turn it over.

AstralSpace · 20/02/2024 22:47

I don't have misophonia yet someone eating apples drives me mad. My dh will come and sit next to me while I watch tv and start crunching and slurping on an apple. Sometimes, I walk out.
A couple of days ago mil came over, said she wanted a snack while I was cooking dinner. I offered the fruit bowl and she took an apple then stood next to me at the stove crunching it in my ear.
The rage was boiling away inside me.

AppleDumplingWithCustard · 20/02/2024 22:49

I had a colleague who ate lots of apples. I admit I have misophonia but it was like sharing a stable with Desert Orchid. I used to have to leave the room before I committed murder.

D1LL1GAF · 20/02/2024 22:50

Lou670 · 20/02/2024 16:46

Get a job where you work alone then. Why should everyone accommodate your condition when they could have a condition where they need to eat regularly? Why should be the majority bow down to the a single person?

You clearly eat noisy food at your desk don't you?
But, you have to accept some folk can't stand it

Peterdinkle · 20/02/2024 23:48

Ugh I hate that pot noodle ad too. Also have a drama yawner at work.

SkyeB86 · 20/02/2024 23:57

Lou670 · 20/02/2024 16:52

I would suggest cutting out your social life too, just in case someone dares to bring an apple out of their bag. And don't go out meals, that would be torture for you.

Many of us do just that. I have misophonia and it's fucked up my social life no end. But God forbid anybody to be sympathetic to an actual medical condition, couldn't have these folk going a few hours without stuffing their faces on something

ThreeImaginaryBoys · 21/02/2024 00:09

Quite @SkyeB86!

I can only liken it to an asthmatic being trapped in a room full of smokers and being told that they should be the one to put up with it.

Nonumbersplease · 21/02/2024 07:14

SkyeB86 · 20/02/2024 23:57

Many of us do just that. I have misophonia and it's fucked up my social life no end. But God forbid anybody to be sympathetic to an actual medical condition, couldn't have these folk going a few hours without stuffing their faces on something

What about people who have to eat regularly due to medical conditions? I'm pregnant and have debilitating nausea that I can only keep on top of with regular snacking, and apples are one of the only foods I can stomach tbh - have to be cold and crunchy.

I WFH so this is not an issue but I think everyone could do with being a little more tolerant to others tbh.

ConflictofInterest · 21/02/2024 07:20

If I'm your colleague I'm not going to stop eating apples sorry. They get me through the very dull office day. Sometimes I take a whole bag in with me as a treat.

I absolutely can't stand the smell of coffee though, it has a definite poo tone to the smell, especially the fresh stuff. Not sure any of my colleagues will stop drinking it whatever I say though.

My DH has misophonia it's such an irritating condition on both sides.

Coffeeandtveasily · 21/02/2024 07:30

I completely understand.
I had a colleague who crunched and slurped loudly and it used to make me so angry.
He also nose breathed deeply constantly - the sounds were unbelievable and I always wondered why none of his friends or family asked if he was ok or told him about his gross eating habits.
If he was in the staffroom at the same time as me I would feel like punching things. Slurping away and crunching loudly while snorting as he merrily ate his sandwiches and pasta. Disgusting.

RampantIvy · 21/02/2024 07:35

Show quote historyWhat about people who have to eat regularly due to medical conditions?

I doubt that this is the majority of snackers though.

I do get it though. DH has had upper GI surgery and can't eat big meals. He snacks regularly, but is thoughtful enough not to piss everyone off around him by constantly crunching all day long.

MixedCouple · 21/02/2024 07:39

I know loads of people who agree noisy food.shoule not be consumed in small quiet spaces. I.e office and libraries etc.

How does Mamagment allow this.person to eat / graze all day. Don't they need their hands free. Their keyboard must be rank.

I did 6 months in a open plan office and the smells were worse the the noise as there was always loud phone calls going on. Bringing smelly foods and loud eating are just as bad.

I dont think it is mesaphomia