Eating apples in confined spaces

[Waking99]

I share a small office with a colleague who eats continually at their desk all day. It’s not smelly food so that’s not an issue, but it’s often crunchy and noisy foods like crisps and apples. I must have some form of misophonia I wasn’t aware of as the sound of someone eating an apple in a quiet room is unexpectedly unbearable and this is causing me a lot of stress! I also feel bad about having these feelings, am I unreasonable? I don’t think I can say anything to colleague I just need to find ways to deal with it? I assume this is a ‘me problem’?

I will leave the room when the food comes out usually, but on the occasion I can’t I feel so stressed. A small radio isn’t really enough to drown out the noise for me and I can’t wear ANC headphones all the time - for instance another colleague drops by to discuss a work issue, everyone is talking and office share colleague will open their bag and get out an apple to crunch and slurp over for the next 10 mins. I can’t leave the room mid convo so I am trapped there with the noise.

Is it really reasonable to eat apples or crisps in small spaces? I would never! 🫣

I literally hated sharing a small office where people ate at their desks all day. One of them kept making stinking cup a soups and slurped away at the vile stuff. I was forever opening the window when she left the room to air it. Apple crunching annoys me generally. Get over yourself, I’m not impressed with your dedication to five a pissing day. As for people who spend a year peeling an orange, then another year gathering the peel up and leaving it in their bin for a fortnight.. just, no.

I think it’s a me problem though. That pot noodle ad with her slurping it up literally makes me feel ill.

Agree. I used to work in an open plan office where there was a multitude of sounds. It was too much when the phone customer service team moved in and one could always be heard over all of it. Shared a lunch hour with her once and had to stick my headphones in because she scraped her silverware when eating, made smacking noises, clearing her throat every few seconds. I just wanted to get a break from the constant noise and have some time off my earphones. In meetings, she would mmhmm and nod while everyone was silent listening. I thought it was just me, nope, other colleagues had complained too. She was told politely she was loud but she didn’t change.

Going on maternity leave was lovely not to hear her anymore and she was gone two months after I went on it.

Everyone is agreeing it’s an op problem but surely the fact so many people are saying it would upset them too is a sign that perhaps we should all be a bit more considerate of colleagues when eating in the office.

I have auditory sensory issues, so I have a lot of compassion for this. But I think you're right that this is largely a you issue to solve.

Start by doing everything you can on your end to help with the noise. Get quality noise cancelling headphones as well as some "lighter" ear plugs like Loops that you can still hear through to have conversations/respond to people. Add a white noise machine to the office (discuss with your officemate to find a sound you both don't mind) - your employer may be willing to purchase this. I get that you can't avoid all of the noise all of the time with these, but if you can control 95% of the noise you'll likely find that your reaction to the remainder eases dramatically. Feeling like you can't control/escape the sounds is a big part of the psychological reaction to them.

This is your coworker's office & desk as well, so it's not reasonable to just ask for her to stop eating. But once you've done everything on your end, it's ok to gently ask for her help as well, keeping perspective that no one has done anything wrong and this is just one of those awkward compatibility issues when two different people are sharing a small space 40 hours a week. Asking her to limit eating during the times you have to take off your headphones/earplugs but you wearing them as much as possible might be a reasonable compromise.

I think listening to someone eating an apple is infuriating. I am a really calm laid back person but worked with a man who ate apples and I was filled with rage. I got on very well with him and also liked him but when the apples came out…. I never said anything.

I don’t understand the need to eat all day , but maybe I am conditioned that way because I am in a job where I can only eat and go to the toilet in set breaks ( teacher ) and those rules include during pregnancy. Nurses , doctors , carers ,shop assistants and the list goes on , all manage to survive without constant grazing .

I could have written this! I have misophonia too and also sit in a small office with a constant grazer! The noise makes me feel so stressed and on edge, it is unbearable to me. I manage it mostly by turning up the music really loudly on my headphones to try and block out the noise of scrapping cutlery on plates or the crunching of crackers. For apples and carrots I have to leave - I do office errands, go to the loo, go get a cuppa, anything. I just can't be in the same room. I also try my best not to be there for the persons main lunch but it's not at a constant time. It sounds daft if you're not someone who is affected but it's horrible (to me akin to nails on a blackboard). You have my sympathies!

Sorry, let me make sure I've understood this. You get stressed if someone eats an apple in the same room as you?
How old are you and how have you managed to survive this long?

I can't handle people eating apples! I have to leave the room. I've never met anyone who felt the same though. I don't have the same thing with Crisps or other noisy food though. Something about the crunch of an apple sends shovers through me and it really painful. I just thought I was weird.

To be fair though, I've never felt it would be reasonable to ask someone to move or not eat it near me. I suppose I might have to if it was a regular occurrence

Why are people eating at their desk all day long? If they are in an office isn’t there a break area they can use?

I also have misophonia, drives me mad (it's not really someone else's problem, it's all me). However, I also have a very serious banana allergy - try explaining that to people chomping on their 'healthy snack' and leaving the skin all over the place (gives off gasses, within half an hour I'm on the epipen)

Yes. Everyone's different. Some people really struggle with noise - look up misophonia and also autism. It's a medical thing. Apples and carrots aside I'm a fully functioning adult and manage very well thanks :)

How old are you and how have you managed to reach adulthood (assuming you have) with this much ignorance?

I have misophonia so you have my sympathy OP. I would be reduced either to tears or rage if I had to listen to someone crunching all day.

I wish people realised that constant chomping and slurping is horrendous to be forced to listen to if you suffer from it. People should be considerate enough to use the eating areas.

Buy earplugs? I mean, eating is essential and the problem is yours. Kindly, just make reasonable adjustments yourself?

Some people eat apples like horses. It's highly annoying. Some people are sloppy eaters. Some are ok at eating. I get it. Unfortunately can you work from home / loops / head sets? As it's not eggs or mc d I think you might need to try and fix it your side. However I do understand how upsetting / annoying it is.

I’m new to working in a big office and find the snacking at desks quite strange and maybe an indication people aren’t getting/taking proper breaks. I just get up and eat my crisps/apples in the stairwell 😂

You don't understand Misophonia.

😄I can feel the rage rising just reading this post. Can't you just eat at lunchtime?

Thankfully none of my colleagues feel the need to snack all day. I would find it hard if they did.

@Hereyoume I can relate

That’s how misophonia works. It isn’t all noise that’s the issue, it’s specific sounds. And it’s absolute torture if you can’t get away from the noise.

This thread has made me really want an apple (but we only have oranges and grapes)…

Loops work well.

I miss the days when it was unthinkable to eat at work outside specified meal breaks!

Surely this is why lunchtime was invented ?Who are these people noshing 24/7!

I am also a sufferer of misophonia.
It is much more than getting "stressed". You feel "the rage", cortisol rushes around your body, your flight or fight response is triggered. I had a heart attack at 53 since the continual cortisol caused my arteries to narrow, and blood pressure and cholesterol to increase.

Fellow sufferers, and there are many on this thread, need to keep an eye on blood pressure. Misophonia over time can have catastrophic consequences.