To think my children should be able to be home for more than an hour during the day?

[Doesthisdescribeyou]

We got back about fifty minutes ago. Three year old and baby. Made lunch for three year old and he ate it, spilling a fair amount on the floor. He then lay on the floor so got covered in food. Took him to the toilet and he’d wet himself, ran to get clean clothes. Meanwhile the baby is crying and I’m running back and forth trying to sort her. As I’m trying (unsuccessfully) to feed her the three year old is going to his toy box and bringing toys into the lounge which now looks like a tornado. To my shame I ended up shouting.

Yet all morning we’ve been out and they’ve been delightful.

Am I doing something wrong here?

Why are you shouting at a child for being a child?

Because I wasn’t the middle man on the cross at Calvary?

1. clean up floor before he gets down.- just a quick wipe round
2. reduce the number of toys he has access to.
3. baby can cry for a bit - not a problem.

But I have to admit that I had an almost 8 year gap between mine so I don’t have first hand experience!

I agree it's harder being in the house. I usually take packed lunches and stay out longer (back after three, ideally after four), or do two trips, morning and afternoon. But I find it easier to stay out than get us all back out in the afternoon (I've got three under fives so I get it!).

Just sounds like you don't have enough patience for kids being kids tbh! Understandable, they can be royally annoying! Really though, if they've been good all morning it's hardly crime of the century for a three year old to spill food, wet themselves or get toys out or for a baby to cry.

Maybe you needed to get back earlier so you could get everything done before they (and you) got the pre-nap grumps?

I'm a bit confused, what has the time got to do with what happened? Have a cup of tea and stick the telly on and let him play, can all be scooped up later.

I hear you and sympathise. When mine were all little it was easier to be out the house then at home, the time use to go on forever at home. We spent a lot of time in playparks.

No you’re not doing anything wrong. It’s just normal behaviour for young children. I remember those days well having a disabled child and 2 younger ones just a year apart. Some days were absolute chaos.

How old is the baby?

I'm confused...just leave the mess in the kitchen till all food is done.

What did he do wrong with the toys?! They're supposed to be played with. clear up at end of day once they're in bed surely?

What's Calvary and a cross got to do with anything? Shouting isn't limited to the non religious.

Why shout at a 3 year old for playing with their toys? They can all be put back, it's not as if they're smashing the house up.
Maybe you could see someone about your anger issues.

Does your 3yo go to nursery?

Not sure I can see the problem with toys, but I suppose it depends whether just upended storage containers and isn't actually playing with anything

Sounds really normal to me for children that small. Are you suggesting the 3 y o is BU? Agree reduce toys. If they’re scattering toys that’s not settling, could be too many options. Small children are really hard work. When does 3 yo get nursery hours?

No you’re doing nothing wrong. And ignore the smug / facetious replies. Life with 2 small kids is hard and relentless and it often feels like everything needs to be done right away at a mile a minute. I used to call them “mad moments” and notice how many times a day I felt like this. Take a minute to breathe, fix the most urgent things eg. clean clothes - can 3 year old do that themselves? The food on floor can wait unless dangerous or smelly. The baby might have to cry for a minute but that’s fine so long as they’re safe. Ideally 3 year old can bring toys to play with baby while you’re cleaning up the food.
Being at home is often harder than popping out with a picnic - but I appreciate that would still involve packing a bag, making food, etc, and coats and shoes battle - it doesn’t always feel worth the fight every day. Yes you should be able to be at home for an hour but no it’s unlikely to ever be a peaceful hour!

And why not play the tidy up song and have 3 y o help cleanup?

The 3 year old is being a 3 year old and yes they’re a pita at times. You, however are an adult and a mother and didn’t handle this well on this occasion by shouting.

Agree with PP’s being out and about a lot occupies the elder children far more and means you and baby get fresh air and interaction with others. Most DM’s I know are out a lot with DC even if they have a large garden!

The OP literally says, "To my shame I ended up shouting." She knows it wasn't ideal, but she's a stressed out human being! Stop trying to stick the boot in.

No ones being smug here. It sounds life OP wants to vent here which is fine but also sounds like her mothering experience is limited, hence the advice.

Not related to this post but why aren’t there more parenting classes?

Why doesn’t he have toys in the lounge? He wants to be with his family and his toys. If you keep toys in a different room you either need to feed the baby there or expect him to bring toys to you.

Meals times/toileting are always going to be a tricky point. They’re at a difficult age but your oldest will soon be much more independent.

People are so rude!!!
Well I get it. Totally.
Love your 'cross' comment (I'll be nicking that one).
Hope you get some downtime later.
Good Luck to some of the posters ... perhaps they're tired out from polishing their haloes.

Pretty normal behaviour from a 3 year old and a baby! In the coming years, you are going to need a higher level of tolerance.

I once went upstairs to have a shower after work before cooking dinner. My husband was overseas. My three year old felt neglected. He went into our downstairs bathroom, popped the plug in the basin and turned the taps on. It was luckily a quick shower as the water had reached the hallway when I came back down. I eventually I got the carpets dry. I think I probably shouted at the three year old for doing it and the six year old for not raising the alarm.

Kids are tiring sometimes. Don't stress about the mess. Let them play.

It can be tidied away later. Don't worry about having a perfectly tidy house when you have little ones (or big ones!)

It might be easier if you bring the toybox into the lounge. So he can play in the same room that you're in.

You’re not doing anything wrong, small children cause chaos. I always found being out with mine easier than at home.
You only have one pair of hands and so can only do one thing at a time. You’ve just got to decide what’s the most important.

Hope they both have a nap for you after lunch and you get a break.

This.