To think there's an off/bad vibe out there?

[ARichSeamToMine]

Does the world feel "off"?
Sorry if this seems ranty, I'm really interested in the vote though.

I'm feeling like there's a weird vibe out there.

I live in London, meet a lot of people through work and am not just judging by my circle.

I've been struggling to articulate this.

I'm late 40s and have seen recessions etc before.

Was out in the City tonight and I would say bar and restaurant were busy for a Monday night, so good there. The street I was on had several completely closed offices, pubs and two gyms, which was sad.

I understand that changes in social habits have been affected by working patterns etc.

I just feel there is something else at play

I increasingly find that people are a bit...strange? We saw groups in the bar, who presumably went out together from choice, just gazing at their phones. I was never anti tech but I'm starting to wonder if there is something in the idea that it affects communication skills.

my friend is worried about her dad because he constantly watches videos of fights - this is a TV show in the US now I hear.

I know a lot of people in my age group feel very "meh" and have little enthusiasm for things, but it's not just middle age. I don't think so anyway.

I'm happy if people are happy, but starting to wonder if they are happy. I meet a lot of people who don't want to go out, are up at 5am walking a dog, they take care of themselves with a good diet, often vegan, don't drink alcohol.

I'm not saying any of these things are bad. I can see if the City is reasonably busy on a Monday night, hospitality must be recovering, which is great.

But something out in the world feels off...like people aren't interested in much.

My online creative writing group has almost no posts. The tutor is regularly cancelling workshops and looking to do online only.

I'm in touch with a couple of exes and we are staying friends but they seem to do nothing but gaming. One in particular has no friends and is not bothered.

I might get flamed but I do wonder if men are particularly prone to doing less stuff if they are single.

Again, that is fine if they are happy. But I get this sense that people aren't happy.

Social anxiety seems very much on the rise.

Just curious to know if others get this vibe.

YABU - people are fine and just living life as usual

YANBU - people are losing communication skills and becoming unhappy

I know exactly what you mean OP, even though as you say it’s something intangible and hard to articulate.

I think essentially, post-Covid and mid-cost of living crisis and online addiction crisis, there are an awful lot of damaged, traumatised, mentally unwell people out there, and another large and increasing group of people who have basically just given up on life and are going through the motions. There is very little joy or optimism in the world at present, and increasingly people seem to be retreating into their own little bubbles (very often living life virtually, via social media bubbles). I certainly seem to come across fewer and fewer healthy, well-adjusted people in my own day-to-day life.

My own outer London suburb is becoming increasingly run-down and grim; as people find life tougher and tougher you can really sense the gradual breakdown of social norms and community cohesion. We are looking to move out soon to somewhere more middle class and economically insulated - bit of a calculated, cynical move really, but our priority is our small DD and her future life chances.

Street homelessness and tents has pretty much exploded.

Street homelessness and tents has pretty much exploded.

A vehement yes to this - I counted seven homeless people begging on our local high street yesterday. Until a couple of years ago there were none at all.

@Charlize43

London fringe.

Our roads are full of potholes. It adds to the general feeling that no one cares or is looking after the areas we live in.

Romance is subjective though. Even before covid/CoL etc, my idea of romance was never wine & dine, flowers, drinks, restaurants etc. I've always been a walk along the coast with a bag of chips kind of girl. We've never celebrated Valentines day because we don't need one day to show love, we do it all the time. An M&S meal deal (low effort, minimal washing up) and a film sounds lovely.

If the low key, quiet life doesn't suit someone, great, they can do what they want. But I think since lockdown, it's become more acceptable to be less sociable, live a bit more simply, and that's ok.

@TempsPerdu "Thank you OP for articulating something I absolutely have felt."

I haven't really said anything useful except "weird vibe" though! 😂

Genuinely surprised at the number of thoughtful responses. Even those of us who are doing okay are getting a "weird vibe".

I don’t like feeling ripped off - which is pretty much the experience of even a coffee out.

Cost of groceries is so high that I don’t want to spend more on lunch or take away food either.

Most people are okay, there is a lot of post pandemic fatigue and mental health related issues.

I would go out more but for other priority expenses more than a change in being social.

Poor quality of life pre pandemic, especially post Brexit, many years of Tory disinvestment and disinterest in our public services (except for exploitation for their afuent mates) the same as when they were in too long before but now they don’t even bother to hide it.

We (DH and I)used to go out for meals but with rising costs we can't justify it. We are on good money but bills have gone up 200 a month and you can't then justify 100 of that on a meal out especially with 16 year old DS's eating habits and both DCs clothing, savings for uni which we don't were we are going to find. I wonder where all the wealth is as it is definitely not with the majority of Middle and working classes anymore!

Yes, there is that feeling of being ripped off, even though you know cafes etc have to cover costs. With things like that being limited, social interaction for many is not there and this worsens feelings of unease IMO.

Nope don't feel that things are different. If anything, things are getting livelier and people are returning.

Life is busy and on the whole good. Live in Zone 2/3 and work in Zone 1, London.

Yeah, I think post-COVID reality.is part of it. Social isolation.

We've been in recession for so long now. At least ordinary people have, not billionaires. Brexit feels like a decisive turning point where life in the UK took a turn downhill - travel problems and shipping delays, not to mention a lot of businesses going bust, talented Europeans and academics going home. This country feels like it's on its knees eg the NHS, councils going bust, government services on their knees from cuts and incompetence.

On top of that it sometimes feels like the "end of times" with global warming in the background that we can't seem to change.

On top of that we have done serious geopolitical world conflicts, like all the middle east Islamic conflicts plus Russia/Ukraine. It feels like the world is becoming a less safe place even for us in the relatively safe UK.

It's tough to rise above it, yet we must somehow become more hopeful. I hope that a new government might give us the shot in the arm we need. I mean if all the Tory party have to offer is cuts in inheritance taxes and stopping small boats then we really are pandering to the lowest common denominator.

It’s very interesting to me that most of the positive posts seem to be from London. Is that (hopefully?) because London is further ahead than the rest of the country in recovering from the pandemic? Or, more negatively, is it because Londoners are more insulated from the COL due to higher salaries?

I feel this way and for me it’s a Tory government and brexit and the resulting cost of living crisis brought on my a government who couldn’t give a fuck if most people live or die . I’m public sector so my job is poorly paid and bleak and I feel I have nothing to look forward to anymore .

Hardly the latter. The reason salaries are higher in London is that COL is higher. I just think that London has more going for it than most of the rest of the country. It is still a truly world leading city, no other city has more going for it except just possibly New York and I personally prefer London.

Rise of extreme right politics across Europe and US, genocide in the Middle East that our politicians won’t call an end to, economy trashed with no real safety net. Even if people don’t care about it in their own lives I think it contributes to a sense of no moral boundaries… you can implode the economy, appeal to people’s bassist instincts, and allow the killing of 29,000 people in 4 months and argue that a ceasefire isn’t the right call. There is literally no moral compass at the political level and that creates a gnawing sense of anxiety, and rightly so tbh.

Completely agree! People are desensitised to the max. ‘Don’t look up’ doesn’t seem like a comedy anymore. The world is so bizzare. I sometimes wish I woke up in 1991 again … or plan our family move somewhere far far away from civilisation. We get bombarded by so much negativity every day. And technology seems like the worst kind of crack. So sad

When I saw that the doorway of one of the now closed-down banks near me had been turned into a small tent city by several homeless people that seemed not only deeply sad but profoundly symbolic of the state we are in. There were about 5 people living there (if you can call it living) plus a couple of dogs.

I think there are so many towns and cities that fit the description or boarded up shops and increased homelessness. I know that local Facebook groups here seem to think we are the only town this is happening to, but it’s everywhere.

I think it’s a mix of a lot already mentioned on this thread.

Also, the uniqueness of people is gone, the different characters, the different looks, the different personalities. It’s like a society of clones. These clones are all living life through SM.

I in my 40’s but generally I only find old people & kids interesting & fun.

The fun, carefree, happy society imo is all but gone.

A huge contribution must be made by the synthetic food industry and how addictive the cheapest foods are that are produced using them.

It's not logical to think our brains can function properly on them.

Sadly, it's a depth of pollution that's inside us.

My antidote is to cook clean and simple food and hold my loved ones tight and dear

Yes - a lot are tourists and obviously there is wealth for some, which is a buffer against costs (and public services) but will require some serious wider change for recovery.

Someone said that the young adults were angry.

Well look at their parents, working from home so very little to talk about. The how was your day conversation gone. Their parents have changed so much become introverted. That must be bewildering to witness suddenly your mum and dad who used to be fun have turned into granny and grandad.

They're too into your business because they're no longer working, commuting. Every perceived teen transgression over analysed. They're way too interested in your education, blaming teachers, the government, they've become such a downer.

They don't go out any more so no mates round while they are with their own friends.

They're smothering their kids, what happened to benign neglect.

I dunno. I think high salaries have something to do with it.

In the bubble that is the City of London, salaries are generally high. During covid, these high earners kept their salaries and could work from home so quality of life increased without serious pressure from COL. Savings also increased during covid because of less spend on going out and holidays, so there is more cash accumulated that is now being splashed around.

The job market was crazy hot about a year or two ago, and salaries went up loads. It has calmed down but still lots of new jobs going in my sector.

People are returning to the offices, as the trend is towards working in the office, rather than from home. But most places are still hybrid working. When I go into the office, I meet up with friends more and have coffees with colleagues, so restaurants and cafes are busy. At rush hour, I sometimes cannot get a seat on the train. Unheard of over the last few years.

People are on their phones, true, but a lot of purposeful striding on the pavements. There is buzz and energy.

30 million tourists visit London each year which does help the buzz factor