To think there's an off/bad vibe out there?

[ARichSeamToMine]

Does the world feel "off"?
Sorry if this seems ranty, I'm really interested in the vote though.

I'm feeling like there's a weird vibe out there.

I live in London, meet a lot of people through work and am not just judging by my circle.

I've been struggling to articulate this.

I'm late 40s and have seen recessions etc before.

Was out in the City tonight and I would say bar and restaurant were busy for a Monday night, so good there. The street I was on had several completely closed offices, pubs and two gyms, which was sad.

I understand that changes in social habits have been affected by working patterns etc.

I just feel there is something else at play

I increasingly find that people are a bit...strange? We saw groups in the bar, who presumably went out together from choice, just gazing at their phones. I was never anti tech but I'm starting to wonder if there is something in the idea that it affects communication skills.

my friend is worried about her dad because he constantly watches videos of fights - this is a TV show in the US now I hear.

I know a lot of people in my age group feel very "meh" and have little enthusiasm for things, but it's not just middle age. I don't think so anyway.

I'm happy if people are happy, but starting to wonder if they are happy. I meet a lot of people who don't want to go out, are up at 5am walking a dog, they take care of themselves with a good diet, often vegan, don't drink alcohol.

I'm not saying any of these things are bad. I can see if the City is reasonably busy on a Monday night, hospitality must be recovering, which is great.

But something out in the world feels off...like people aren't interested in much.

My online creative writing group has almost no posts. The tutor is regularly cancelling workshops and looking to do online only.

I'm in touch with a couple of exes and we are staying friends but they seem to do nothing but gaming. One in particular has no friends and is not bothered.

I might get flamed but I do wonder if men are particularly prone to doing less stuff if they are single.

Again, that is fine if they are happy. But I get this sense that people aren't happy.

Social anxiety seems very much on the rise.

Just curious to know if others get this vibe.

YABU - people are fine and just living life as usual

YANBU - people are losing communication skills and becoming unhappy

Yes, the borders were closed for some time, but the country was not in actual lockdown for terribly long. Auckland had an extra lockdown or two, but the rest of us got off pretty lightly really. People were allowed to leave the country btw, they just might have had trouble getting back in. People overseas were warned at the start of lockdown to return asap if they wanted to get back home.

Well yes, Auckland did spend more time in lockdown than the rest of us - but Auckland is not NZ, and none of us were locked down for "years"

How many more times???? The borders being closed is not the same as people being in lockdown. You can think it crazy for as long as you like, but look at our death toll from covid compared to that of the UK, and I can assure you that our government weren't out partying while their citizens suffered.

We have many of our own issues atm but I don't see anything like all this negativity here that I read on MN.

But we aren’t comparing now to the 80s or 70s, but to 5 or 10 years ago.
I’m not harking back to the good old days when I was young, but to 5 years ago when I was in the same house, job and wage bracket as I am now.

I haven’t scrolled through the entire thread but @jellew raises an interesting point about not feeling this “weird vibe” as a parent running around and keeping the children entertained. I have a daughter and when I think about Covid, although there was a lockdown I was too busy being “strong” for my daughter and keeping busy and using my imagination to turn the house into a haven and playing (as in with toys as a child would) and so we didn’t get too bogged down with tech as much - yes we had hours in front of the TV but we got bored of that eventually.

Post pandemic my life is similar, school run, play dates, being off our phones to set an example of what healthy boundaries with tech looks like. Life is busy and even though I don’t see my friends as much as I’d like to, I’m always in this community of parents.

Not to say that you need children to experience fulfilment but we need people. The times in life I feel human are usually when I’ve socialised a little (and im an introvert - defined as being energised when alone, having a low social battery and small pool of very close friends).

I used to play The sims when I was younger and there are 6 bars to represent essential needs - hunger, fatigue, sleep etc and I remember one being social. When the sims social bar was low, the social bunny would pop up and the sim would become insane.

I never understood how much socialising was a human need until recently. And no amount of chat platforms and VR experiences can truly replace that.

Oooh, I'll put you in touch with a couple of my cousins in Auckland and Nelson and they'll tell you just how much they disagree with you. They voted Jacinda's replacement out because they felt so strongly that it had been badly handled.

Whoop de do - I couldn't care less about your cousins in Auckland and Nelson tbh, so you needn't bother.

So 2005 then, not sure what point you are making, apart from trying to deny someone elses experience? People had mobiles in the 80s, were you around then?

Well aren't you a charmer!! You are just showing that the comments on this thread about how unpleasant people have become are indeed true!

Incidentally, you have derailed this thread from its original discussion. I made one comment and it was completely unnecessary for people to pile on about NZ's covid response. And no, I don't particularly care about people in Auckland, given that they couldn't give a stuff about anyone in any other part of the country.

When you watch dystopian films, everyone just constantly works on a machine, nobody goes out and has fun, life is hard, everywhere is dirty and broken, people are fighting. Well...

There’s a line in Handmaid’s tale when talking over the forbidden scrabble board that the commander says “change is never better for everyone” I think
this country is/ has changing some people are benefiting but it’s not the masses,

Your reply kind of highlights my point. In Britain having a national identity or vision has become sysnonymous with flag waving (or 3 word political soundbites). That’s not what identity is. It’s more a cultural confidence about living in a decent society with some core shared values and aspirations for the future. And not looking at other demographics to yourself (be they richer segments, poorer, immigrants, different generations) with suspicion and intolerance. Flags have nothing to do with it.

The prospects for younger people depend on where you are. I'm in a small town in the midlands and here it is still possible for a young couple to get on the housing market on modest salaries.

It is possible to commute into London in 2 hours. Not something you would want to do every day (I did for a number of years and it is a killer) but 1/2 times per week is manageable both in terms of cost and time.

The town where I grew up was already out of reach for anyone without family money 30 years ago so that is nothing new.

And you are able to attribute all those character defects to someone because they wave a flag? What utter crap. I have no flag. Have never had a flag and do not intend to obtain a flag. I’ve seen Palestinian flags galore recently so are you claiming that their owners are all culturally unconfident? Lack shared values and aspirations ? Look at others with suspicion and intolerance? Pretty amazing if you, personally, can read all that about thousands of folk simply by looking at their flags 😮 I call bullshit! Actually I call flagphobia 🤭

The mobiles in the 80s were not even vaguely the same thing as smart phones of today.

Totally agree with this post and thanks for saying it. I remember how much hope and pride there was in the late 1990s - but how that went hand in hand with celebrating diversity and a pride in being tolerant/diverse as a country. I’m sure the country was no less racist/xenophobic but it was far less acceptable to say it.

The idea that you can’t have national pride without it meaning “flag waving” is missing the point.

Daffodil - well if AI has anything to do with it, we won't all be constantly working on machines

Bonkers. Just bookers. Why do you think people are carrying Palestinian flags? Why? Give it a millisecond’s thought please.

I’m not sure what this has to do with anything? The point being made is that we have no national pride or shared community identity or vision in Britain. Which did not used to be the case. And that that is not incompatible with being a tolerant/diverse country that wants the best for all its people.

Ok, so how would you try to unite people in a common cause? Flags and keffiyehs seem to be heavily used by even non Palestinian protesters so are they all wrong?

Flags and national identity are not the same thing.

How would I unite people around a common cause or national identity? Honestly I think it has taken 15 years of quite cruel leadership to erode it. And I think it would take a similar amount of time to build it back up - plus investment in our built environment, education, health and communities.

But I also suspect that any attempt would be sabotaged by countries (incl. Russia) who want to see us divided and broken. As another poster mentioned, through troll farms and media manipulation. I suspect the days of a shared vision for community good are over.

As my school age child said 1 st we had Brexit , then covid, then war in Ukraine. I think people are also depressed by col, state of NHS , police and post office scandals, general state of the country, there's no good things nationally in sight, I personally thought once covid hit we are entering a more uncertain world , I have noticed people are less interested in doing things outside their homes for whatever reasons and other people in different social circles say that people are less sociable

So how should national unity be realistically rebuilt? Or have you already given up? Poverty seems a pretty global issue apart from those who are obscenely rich. Where are the government, any government of any country, going to obtain the money to make this investment, which I also agree is much needed? I’d pay more tax for better services but the current two party system in this country serves as a barrier to raising taxes.

Returning to the reviled flags though, do you not think that most groups foster a strong sense of identity and unity through devices such as flags, symbols colours etc? All countries, especially those with a monoculture, have flags and what about football teams etc? I think you’re being a little premature to write them off entirely. Like I said why do you think we are seeing so many Palestinian flags in our public spaces? Do they mean anything or are they just random? A fashion statement?

Tech, ai, WW3 probably. I hope I’m dead by then 😆well I will be thank goodness.
People are obsessed with their phones, she says whilst on her mobile.
I have two employees obsessed with online gaming at 2-5am, affecting their work so their line managers are going down the well-being route.
Lockdown, being alone and enjoying it. Memes are built around the concept that being alone is addictive.
People are entitled, selfish, cruel and self serving. There’s an unhealthy obsession with commercialism. What can I have, what can I buy, throwaway culture. I’m not sure we deserve the planet we abuse.