To ‘cancel’ the trip?

[MotherOfOlafs]

Bit of a backstory. DD14 loves history, has done since she was small, has lots of history books, loves the museums etc. We had parents evening last week and the report from her history teacher was glowing, especially as she can be a class clown at times. So the time has almost come to pick her options. She told us at the weekend that she doesn’t want to choose history now as it’s ‘too much hard work’.

Now the issue I have is that I have already begun to pay off a trip to Auschwitz for Jan 2025. It’s a lot of money hence the school giving us over a year to pay it off. Students who are planning on taking GCSE history were strongly encouraged to join the trip with the school helping out with payments in certain cases. I’ve already paid the deposit and first instalment. To be honest I’m quite disappointed that she’s thinking of not taking it as an option as she wants to take classes that she thinks will be an easier ride and less theory/more practical stuff. So, AIBU to suggest to her that if she doesn’t take history GCSE I’m not willing to pay off any more of the trip? I’ve not said anything yet as I’d like opinions please.

Yep, you would be.

I'd let her use her money for it/birthdays etc. but it's fair to say you booked it to support her studies. If she chosen a different path then you'll support those choices.

What? No don't cancel it, every single person on the planet should go to Auschwitz (at least) once, for fuck's sake don't take it away from her or link it to her study decisions, that's beyond bonkers.
In fact you should go with her.

I think she might be sorely disappointed to find that less theory/more practical can still be more work and effort.

I think the visit might be worth it regardless though.

I wouldn’t be paying for any more. It was intended in order to support a history GCSE and she won’t be doing one. It’s not a “punishment” (even if you are disappointed at her reasons) it’s just a logical consequence of not choosing history.

Although if you have already paid a lot and won’t get it back I might think differently, just because I would hate wasting that money.

Depends on the cost and your wealth
Given you describe it as expensive

If you signed up because you thought it was supporting her love of history and future studies then it quite reasonable to stop it she has changed her mind

But I'd be a bit dubious about the mind change - you might want to remind her that most people find subjects they enjoy and are good at far less hard work than "easy" subjects that aren't so interesting to them

YANBU

I wouldn't be paying. Not because she doesn't want to take history but because of her appalling attitude towards work.

Do you think her history teacher could have a word with her?

Surely the trip will benefit her enormously? It sounds like you're punishing her for her option choices.

Have a chat with her and see why she backed out of the subject. Maybe someone also frightened her with the work load. On the other hand maybe she just doesn't want to do it.

The trip is another thing altogether. Auschwitz is a valuable and worthwhile experience that anyone not just those interested in history should visit. So I'd still let her go if you can afford it but I completely understand why you are disappointed.

It might be worth checking out with the school whether the way the trip is run will assume that all students going are taking history. If they have evening activities planned which relate what they've seen to the syllabus, they may prefer not to have someone there who is not doing history (particularly if they might play the class clown). If not, then sure, the trip could be valuable regardless.
(They may also be able to tell you whether there is a reserve list for the trip - in which case you might get your money back.)

Whether she should do history GCSE is a separate question, really. History is quite content-heavy, but if she's got the interest that will help her remember facts and make connections, she may not find it as onerous as some other options.

From the other perspective I would be very disappointed if my DC happened to be taking history and couldn't go on this trip as a space was taken up by a non history studying student

If she only told you at the weekend I'd wait it out a bit

It might be fear, rebellion - something else driving her rather than what she has stated.

Allow her to explain if she wants and just be unreactive for a few days.

If she chooses not to take the GCSE then IMO it wouldn't be unreasonable to not support a GCSE history trip.

If she still wants to go on the trip, then she should do. Just because she’s not taking history for GCSE doesn’t mean she can’t still be interested in it. Plenty of value to be had in a trip to Auschwitz.

If you stop her going, you’re just blackmailing her into taking the subjects you want her to take.

Wtf?

It’s not the OP who is bonkers.

Do you apply this theiry to all atrocities or just to Auschwitz?

OP i would be saying to her that as she doesn’t wish to do history GCSE then she doesn’t need to go on a history trip to Auschwitz and deny someone else the opportunity.

I would say to her that if she does want to visit Auschwitz any time she has a lifetime to do it and ought wish to do so when she can decide and afford to do so herself.

"In fact you should go with her."

On the school trip?! 😆

Why would she go on a school trip for a subject she doesn’t take?

Have you discussed what she wants to do later, A levels, University? If she's really interested in History and might want to do it at University or beyond she may be limiting her options. If she has another plan using her proposed options then fine, keep History as a hobby. Or is she worried about expectations if she does History, she's good at it but doesn't want the pressure of being expected to carry on being good if it gets more difficult.

The trip will be a good thing whatever her decisions.

A couple of things:

1. This trip will benefit your daughter in so many of her other subjects: sociology, RE, politics, anything requiring debate and reflection, moral argument etc.
2. As well as that, it will support her growth as a young person and a citizen. The firsthand experience of seeing what a country can do to its people is sadly still very relevant today
3. It might also be the thing that reawaken her commitment to studying history, which she might pick up in 6th form.

For all these reasons I'd invest in the trip.

It sounds like it's primarily a History GCSE trip, but they had to send it to everyone because they hadn't selected their options choices yet. I don't think it's unreasonable to tell her that she can't go.
Separately, I find year 9s around options time can get very "Oh, I heard it's hard work" etc. If she's good at it and enjoys it, she should be fine, but yes, she will also have to do a bit of work

Agree with @lanthanum

You wouldn't be able to go here if not in course

Thanks all so far. Very mixed opinions but I’m taking it all on board.
I forgot to add in my first post (not trying to drip feed just legitimately forgot!) that in July last year she went on the school trip to Spain for her MFL class. This was open to all year groups and was very popular. DD insisted she loved her Spanish lessons so we let her go along. This year when looking at the options she tells us she never liked Spanish she just wanted a holiday with her friends. So perhaps I’m still feeling a bit annoyed in a way? Like she sees this as another trip with her besties?
I also agree with the point that another child who takes history will be missing out on a place as DD is going, there’s 40 spaces for potentially hundreds of pupils over 2 year groups.
But there again it would be beneficial either way, and she’s a good kid.

Whether Auschwitz is a worthwhile trip and whether DD should be going on a history trip for a subject she doesn’t intend to study are two different topics though.

There will always be opportunities to visit Auschwitz. It doesn’t need to be on a history trip if she’s not going to be doing history. In fact I’d say that denying someone who is going to be doing history GCSE is wrong.

It’s not a punishment or blackmail as some people are dramatically saying here. I mean Auschwitz isn’t an enjoyable holiday, it’s a brutal reminder of one of the most awful atrocities ever.

But realistically if she’s not going to benefit from it in terms of her doing a GCSE, if she’s really interested in going there she can go there when she can afford it.

We’re not talking denying the girl a trip to a water park.

Are you saying that you think the trip is only beneficial if she does GCSE history and that she won't benefit from it if she chooses other subjects? Have another think about that, maybe.

This