To ‘cancel’ the trip?

[MotherOfOlafs]

Bit of a backstory. DD14 loves history, has done since she was small, has lots of history books, loves the museums etc. We had parents evening last week and the report from her history teacher was glowing, especially as she can be a class clown at times. So the time has almost come to pick her options. She told us at the weekend that she doesn’t want to choose history now as it’s ‘too much hard work’.

Now the issue I have is that I have already begun to pay off a trip to Auschwitz for Jan 2025. It’s a lot of money hence the school giving us over a year to pay it off. Students who are planning on taking GCSE history were strongly encouraged to join the trip with the school helping out with payments in certain cases. I’ve already paid the deposit and first instalment. To be honest I’m quite disappointed that she’s thinking of not taking it as an option as she wants to take classes that she thinks will be an easier ride and less theory/more practical stuff. So, AIBU to suggest to her that if she doesn’t take history GCSE I’m not willing to pay off any more of the trip? I’ve not said anything yet as I’d like opinions please.

Not saying that. But it is the only subject that will learn about it as part of the syllabus.

And honestly if any other big trips come up in subjects she might choose I can’t guarantee I will be able to afford them.

I’d speak to her, get the teacher to speak to her. You say she loves it, my God that’s half the battle in life - doing something you enjoy. It might be hard work but you enjoy it.

If I couldn’t afford it then I would pull the trip.

If she goes it might reaffirm her love of history? I don’t know.

Don’t parents get a say in the course choices anymore? This sounds like a silly decision for her to make imo. Decisions come with consequences. That’s not blackmail. That’s a fact.

Given her age, I'd suggest sitting down with her and actually saying that. That you prioritised paying for/saving for this trip because it would be beneficial to her studies (obviously it has other benefits too, but it's the History dept at school running it because WW2 is probably a part of the curriculum).

So if she still wants to go, despite not taking History as a GCSE, then she needs to know there won't necessarily be money for something else. E.g. If she takes English Lit and does Shakespeare, you might not have money for the trip to the Globe in London; if she takes Geography, you might not have money for the trip up Snowdon; if she takes Astrophysics, you might not have money for the trip to the Space Centre, etc.

This isn't a punishment, it's her understanding actions/choices and consequences, particularly in relation to money. Probably a very useful thing for her to learn.

And it would give her some power, which teenagers are always craving.

What subjects does she want to take? Is there a specific alternative to History?

She might find that something she thinks would be easy (like Design Technology) isn’t in fact quite as simple as it might sound …

I don’t think you are being unreasonable- people are not wrong to say that Auschwitz is an important trip no matter your GCSE choices - so surely it shouldn’t be demeaned by someone wanting to go along just for a “holiday” with their friends. (DS went on a battlefields trip and a few non history gcse people came just for the trip with mates. They didn’t seem to get much from it …)

Cross post with @BounceHighBaby!

I think you're focusing too much on 'the syllabus' and not considering the wider learning benefits.
You just need to make it clear to your DD that you won't be able to afford other big trips and maybe give her the choice of continuing with this trip or cutting the losses now to keep her options open for potential future trips. Most schools do the same 'big' trips each year, so she should be able to find out from school what trips may come up for her choice of GCSE subjects. She's old enough to choose GCSE options, so she's old enough to make that decision.

Our school has a waiting list for trips, could you see if anyone can take the place

A love and interest in History for life is more important than a qualification in it. Most students are advised to think strategic in subject choice. I would find the trip it is a place every person should make.

And I have to say I am not comfortable with a parent trying to control subject choices with money. If she is a good worker, engaged then allow her autonomy. This isn't your qualification.

Please don't cancel the trip. I took GCSE and A-Level History and ended up hating it and didn't do very well. I still have a passion for history thankfully but just not at an academic level. A trip like that will have such an impact which she will benefit from even if she doesn't go onto to study.

All these comments about blackmail, financial hold, punishment, are excessive.
DD has been on pretty much every school trip so far excluding the ski trip as I couldn’t afford it (and bloody good job as they got stuck at Dover and only had one day of skiing!)
She’s planning on choosing Drama and Media Studies because she enjoys them, fine with us. But to not take a subject she loves because it’s a lot of work baffles me. She’s a middle ground child, not super academic but not in need of any assistance and we are very happy with her progression through the years. I just don’t want her to throw away what she loves.

Not taking the subject = not going on the trip

Places are limited on these trips and this means she is depriving a history subject student from the trip.

If she really really wants to go there, she has the whole of her life ahead of her to do so, AND it may be cheaper to organise a trip there than it is to be going as part of a school trip.

I think the Spanish trip may be a lesson learnt for you.

And honestly if any other big trips come up in subjects she might choose I can’t guarantee I will be able to afford them.

Formally studying a subject like history at school is a really good way of extinguishing any passion for that subject. If she is genuinely interested she’ll continue to find ways to explore history. On that basis I’d keep the trip she’s committed to.

I’d also be saying no to any more big school trips unless she funds them herself. She’s done a couple now, I’d not be funding anymore.

I agree, @Jellycatspyjamas My DC is doing GCSE History and it's so dry - it's really just a test of how much information you can retain.

A couple of perspectives

firstly - if it’s the history trip and she’s not taking history then she shouldn’t be going.

secondly - if it’s a general trip for everyone, it might maintain her interest in history from a non academic perspective which could be life enriching.

lastly - tell her that if she goes on this one then you can’t afford any other jollies and ask her to check whether there are trips attached to other subjects she’s doing

Oh give over!
Do you honestly think the children are spending a full week piously walking around speaking in hushed tones? The trip includes bowling and dinner at the Hard Rock Cafe! Do you honestly give in to everything your child says? God your halo must be super shiny!

What is this obsession with calling people controlling.

It is not controlling to tell a child who isn’t doing a history GCSE that she can’t go on a GCSE history trip.

It is not controlling her life choices, neither is it blackmail, or financial control, or any of the other things that people are claiming on this thread.

It’s little wonder that this generation are growing up so entitled, because apparently telling them no is controlling.

She doesn’t want to do history. Therefore she doesn’t need to go on the history trip. It really is that simple.

if she wants to go to Auschwitz at some point nobody is stopping her when she can afford it.

I mean if the OP was saying to her daughter that if she went to Auschwitz then she had to do history and had no choice that would be one thing. But that’s not what the OP is doing here. She’s saying that since her DD doesn’t want to do history she doesn’t need to be going on the history trip at great expense to the OP.

Came to say this ^ but @heyho2015 is spot on. I’ve been independently and I’ve been in a group with students and it supports so many subjects directly and others indirectly that unless she has some specific reason not to go I would consider encouraging her to go. Can you find out if any /all the money you have paid can be refunded? It’s would be good to have that information before talking with her about it.

OP does if she’s putting up the money

It is shit parenting to give a child whatever they want
It is shit parenting to not teach your child about money and value

It's not shit parenting to say no , circumstances have changed so something is no longer a financial priority

Not quite related to your op but if she’s planning on taking media studies it might be good to let her know it still involves lots of theory. I did history and media studies at GCSE and both exams were essay based!

I don’t think I would stop her going on this trip just because it won’t be part of her syllabus, especially if she is a history buff. I do think it’s fair to say she might have to miss out on more relevant trips due to cost though and I would make that clear to her.