To ‘cancel’ the trip?

[MotherOfOlafs]

Bit of a backstory. DD14 loves history, has done since she was small, has lots of history books, loves the museums etc. We had parents evening last week and the report from her history teacher was glowing, especially as she can be a class clown at times. So the time has almost come to pick her options. She told us at the weekend that she doesn’t want to choose history now as it’s ‘too much hard work’.

Now the issue I have is that I have already begun to pay off a trip to Auschwitz for Jan 2025. It’s a lot of money hence the school giving us over a year to pay it off. Students who are planning on taking GCSE history were strongly encouraged to join the trip with the school helping out with payments in certain cases. I’ve already paid the deposit and first instalment. To be honest I’m quite disappointed that she’s thinking of not taking it as an option as she wants to take classes that she thinks will be an easier ride and less theory/more practical stuff. So, AIBU to suggest to her that if she doesn’t take history GCSE I’m not willing to pay off any more of the trip? I’ve not said anything yet as I’d like opinions please.

Regardless of what she does at A-level, Auschwitz is of huge historical significance and we should all be educating our children about the atrocities of the past so that history doesn't repeat itself......

This is exactly what I’ve tried explaining to her, she was considering taking PE for the fact she thought it was just playing sport nonstop (wouldn’t be an issue but she has no wish to join any sports clubs or teams) until DSD explained there would be some biology style theory which she’s not keen on. Same with geography as she’d seen somewhere that they look at rainforests for half a term. She’s only got a fortnight to think about it really and we’re just trying to give her some guidance.

sounds like shes loking for an easy ride through her gcses-if shes nt willing to study i wouldnt be rewarding her with trips

You don't need a trip anywhere to do that

I think that given her confession about the Spanish trip (including what appears to have been a lie to convince you to let her go) I might be sitting her down and pointing out that it’s in pretty bad taste to look at a trip to Auschwitz as a jolly that is basically just an excuse for a fun time with her mates, even if it does involve bowling and dinner at the Hard Rock Cafe.

But insist that she go anyway, hopefully with an altered attitude.

This is an unfashionable view but it is sometimes part of being a parent that you make your child do something they don't want to do but which you know will be of benefit to them.
OP - how will you feel if in years to come your DD is angry/upset with you because you let her drop history ?

Quite.

Most of us have learned about Auschwitz without ever having been there or having any intention to go there.

Can I ask a question just for honest answers?

Would you have the same or different opinion if the trip was for a different place?

And I don't think it's blackmailing or controlling to point out that actions have consequences. The trip is history based and you were willing to fund it to support her academic choice but if she is not choosing that subject then this trip is no longer appropriate. I would also agree that a kid who is studying history who can't go because your DD has taken a place would justifiably feel aggrieved

If she’s not doing history she doesn’t need to go on the history trip. That’s common sense and hardly controlling. Half the replies on this post are very weird!
Have a chat with her and see what she’s thinking to take instead and whether she really is going to enjoy that topic more and find it easier or whether she will come round to history if she’s good at it, but it’s fine to let her know the context that the trip is only for history students. If she’s not doing it, I would see if anyone on the waiting list wants to place and get the money back

In answer to your latest question - no I think a history trip is a history trip and should be for those studying the subject. Only if they couldn't fill all the places should it be offered more widely. The battlefields of WW1 are also pretty sobering.

Unfortunately I could run that risk either way!

@MotherOfOlafs It sounds like your DD needs some more guidance on her gcse choices. I’m not clear if the issue is perceived workload or fear of essays. If workload, she needs to recognise that all GCSEs are similar (and in my experience the ‘creative’ so-called easy ones have the most work). If essays are an issue, then history is more writing than geography but much much less than English.

If the school can’t provide some holistic advice on options, I recommend looking at some past papers online as this will help you all see what the expectations are in the exams. Eg gcse history has a lot of marks allocated to short answer questions about historical context and interpretation.

in terms of the trip, I would be inclined to let it be until options are nailed down. If she doesn’t choose history, I would try to give up the place to allow another child studying history to could go instead. And then save your money for a different, appropriate school trip. So not a punishment, but also not allowing a ‘jolly’.

If she isn't doing history she doesn't need to take the trip

There are usually limited spaces and sure there will be someone who wants to do history and couldn't get a place as trip was booked

Learn from the Spanish thing

Sounds like your daughter wants the fun of the trip with friends but not the work that goes with it

If her friends weren't going would she still want to go ?

If there is another trip would you allow her to go

Or say no now but change mind

I went on one. For history. Greece

Some friends went skiing (not my idea of fun)

Others elsewhere

But one trip as knew it cost my parents a lot and that's 35yrs ago

I think that it’s quite a unique destination though. The very fact that it is Auschwitz means that there is a good reason to visit it for personal reflection and growth even without the formal study of history as an incentive.

By comparison to the language trip where less value if you don’t intend to learn the language, or a geology trip to look at rocks when you aren’t taking Geography. But those less likely to be offered to kids not doing those subjects. The fact that the school didn’t make doing history a precondition shows that they see the trip to have independent value.

I would still pay for the trip.

I would however be talking to her about the fallacy of giving up something she really enjoys because she thinks another option is easier. For a start, it probably won't be easier if she doesn't enjoy it much.

I gave up history GCSE partly because I didn't like one of the teachers but also because I thought geography might be more 'useful'(?!). I then changed A-levels a few times and kept avoiding picking history as everyone kept telling me it was hard. It was but I really enjoyed it! The other subjects I tried out just weren't as interesting to me.

As I said to a friend one "depends whether you want them to blame you for ruining their life because you let them do something or blame you because you didn't let them do something" -
Either way I think it's in the nature of youngsters to blame their parents so yes it's always 50/50.

I did have a similar situation with my own DD who wanted to drop a subject and I thought she shouldn't. We agreed if it didn't work out I wouldn't say "I told you so" and she wouldn't blame me. As it turned out she was right to drop it, it had no adverse impact and she has frequently reminded me that I was wrong !😂

A looking at it another way, she may not want to study history but by going on the trip she still gets to learn some. So that’s good, right?

(I’d probably be doing all I could to force persuade her to take the GCSE though).

I think this is a tough one. I would perhaps ask the history teacher to have a word with her. If she loves history it really is half the battle.

Personally I would still let her go, however I would also say that if other trips come up for subjects she is taking that you may not have the finances to cover them and let her have a think for a day or 2. I presume you would lose money to cancel your daughters place? So I guess you'd have to weigh up how much you would lose vs how much more needs to be paid ect.

If she's not doing history, does she not have to do geography? Where we will it's either history or geography plus English, Maths and Science and your choices.

I would also like to add and it might be worth telling your daughter, my daughter is just approaching her GCSEs and has taken drama - it is not as easy and laid back as many people think. There is lots more too and and it's quite in depth. Whilst it's fun and my daughter loves it but that's the area she wants to study and work in, there's a lot of writing to it. Lots of coursework and not as much practical as you would think so to get the grades the work effort still needs to be out in. If its not a subject she loves she may regret the decision to take drama and similar can be said for media.

If she isn't going to be taking GCSE history, then I would let the school offer the place to a child that IS studying GCSE history, who didn't manage to get a place on the trip. No doubt they have a long waiting list. You'll have to pay a small admin fee for the name change (depending on what has been booked) but should get the full amount back. (I did this with a school trip I ran when a pupil changed subject, so offered the place to someone else on the course who didn't get a place.).

My school used to offer a GCSE trip to Alton Towers for those studying GCSE Business! Lots took this GCSE option just for the trip!

There's something deeply distasteful about thinking a trip to Auschwitz is only of "benefit" to people doing GCSE History.....

Personally I'd approach this with your daughter as a reframing of the trip.

It's an expensive trip that you agreed to fund on the basis of her interests and strong possibility of her studying history for GCSE. Now the trip is very much a nice to have where she does get to engage with her interests in history...but will largely be a fun trip with her friends.

This means that future opportunities that may be related to the subjects she's studying are likely to not be affordable. Check how she feels about that and whether she'd prefer to keep back the potential money for something else.

I'd also separately have a supportive conversation about her GCSE options. What does she want to do from age 16+, how do her options fit with those plans, does she honestly think there are GCSE classes that don't have heavy study in one form or another, is she being swayed by opinions from people who find subjects 'easy' therefore don't really remember the challenging aspects?

All subjects have heavy aspects to them. My daughter took computer studies and spent the last 3 months of her lessons under exam conditions so she could demonstrate building a website and coding. It's better to study something you enjoy/are interested in than to select an option you perceive as 'easy' but have no interest in.

I wouldn’t cancel, I encouraged my DC to go on every trip they could.