To wonder what posh Mums cook for dinner…

[Primrosecottagelover]

I have just seen Pippa Middleton’s bikini photos on the DM. Three different bikinis so far, washboard abs & nothing jiggles as she chases three kids. She could easily pass as a fibreglass mannequin. I’m wondering why it is that the Middleton women and affluent women (even middle class at my child’s school), always seem to be so impossibly slim. I struggle with my weight and I would love to see the groceries, fridge contents, packed lunchboxes and dinner plans of the other half. Obviously I know what healthy eating and cooking is but, the bodies of Mothers these days is next level. Why am I struggling to keep my tummy from flopping out while women in their 40’s pull off wearing linen mini shorts (not in UK) and high waisted jeans.

Yes I do see that and a lot of it is cultural.

I lived in an EU country for a while where there were hardly any ready meals in the supermarket and it was very rare to see an overweight teenager or adult.

Most people started work very early and then had at least an hour or two for lunch. And lunch was a cooked sit down meal with at least two veg with a salad to start. It was never eaten at your desk. People did not snack outside of meal times except children would have an extra snack of stewed fruit or a yoghurt and fruit. And in the evening most adults would have a bowl of home made vegetable soup and a tiny piece of bread.

They also had long holidays and fewer hours spent working and commuting so there was time to shop and cook healthily and eat as a family. Children had one afternoon off school a week to do individual sport and often participated in team sports on Saturday mornings too.

There were not the same number of fast food outlets as in the uk and they were not permitted to be built near schools. The standard and quality of school lunches was heavily regulated.

The term “regulation” is a dirty word in the uk where commerce is allowed to reign supreme but it can be used for the good to protect public health.

Public transport was integrated and subsidised so everyone can afford to move around cities and visit their local fruit and veg market. And local parks and playgrounds very well maintained and easily accessible. And the quality and price of bread, bought daily in independent bakeries, was also subject to regulation.

You could say that of someone with an ED that they are eating or not eating exactly what they want ( I have personal experience of EDs). There is a condition called orthorexia isn’t there? It means being particularly concern with healthy eating, doesn’t it?

The number of these women making their own teenage dds anorexic is terrifying.i know of at least two that prevented their 12 year olds from eating any carbs from that age onwards.

I was stood at a party serving Italian food in the garden when they were told to choose the cherry tomatoes, the pizza is no longer for them. They are grown up now and can no longer eat it. The girls were already on the very slim side of average. There is a very very dark side to this behaviour and choice.

‘The boys’ can eat whatever they like…

But I think my point is it’s not a ‘day in day out’ drudgery of having to do 2 hours in the gym every day for example, or being on a restrictive diet. It’s more about finding things you enjoy to be active, through hobbies, social life, mode of transport etc. I was trying to counter the general tone of the thread which was ‘slim women are always miserable under eaters who spend hours doing exercise that they don’t enjoy’.

The reasons for people being overweight are complex and varied. It’s a mixture of genetics, personal circumstance and childhood history, to name just a few.

I was slim with no effort all my life, up until my mid thirties. An incredibly stressful job alongside 8 years trying to conceive and then many rounds of IVF saw some weight creep on. Then 2 pregnancies close together and the stress of raising a young family whilst working and f0 years I was overweight, in the end 5.5 stone overweight. Drinking too much alcohol and eating because it made me happy.

I had no headspace left to lose weight. I knew I had to and how to, but just couldn’t. It was only when Covid hit and it became abundantly clear being overweight was a massive risk, that I finally broke the cycle. People don’t believe when I tell them how overweight I was.

This is just my story and everyone is different. I wasn’t facing half the challenges other people are and it took me a decade to sort myself out. It’s not easy and there’s no simple solution.

They don't eat many carbs. The slim mums I know skip meals and don't eat many carbs. I've never seen them touch cake at coffee mornings and one mum I know eats steamed fish and vegetables every single day for dinner. Her dh eats the same dinner and he's slim too.
I read a random article once that said that Charles ate breakfast then nothing til dinner most days. I can't vouch for truth but I was fascinated with his fasting regime and wondered if the royals tend to fast.

I’m very slim and in my late 50s. I eat lots of carbs, and cake, and chocolate. I wish people wouldn’t generalise, saying all people like me don’t eat carbs, or must exercise all day, or starve themselves. It’s not true.

I hope you realise your findings are not a true representation of reality.
You must know that most slim people eat cake and carbohydrates.

I'm also quite baffled at the level of detail some people seem to know about what their friends/peers eat.
I think this thread is attractive to the obsessed.

The thing is if that's how your body responds then that's you. The issue comes when people who can eat like this and remain slim assume everyone is like them and therefore anyone who is larger than them must be absolute gluttonous pigs.

Yes. The number of "well if you didn't eat packets of biscuits and 12 donuts at a time" posts... Also "I was slim just walking with my pram, what's wrong with you?"

Some of us don't stuff ourselves with biscuits, do walk/cycle a lot and are still overweight.

Most overweight people I know do not have a totally hideous diet nor are they totally physically inactive

How else would you say this word?

I think little differences in diet cumulatively add up, especially as you get older. Slim friends will have a piece of cake when out but never eat biscuits or cake in the office, or are the kind of people who never sit down in the evening. Never have ovenchips, small portions at home, black coffee not milky lattes.

ive largely cut out snacking, and have lost a stone….

I feel like there are different issues on this thread and they're all getting confused. For me:

PM is a red herring because she is effectively an athlete (fact, not assumption) with an athlete's figure. I think she looks great and the cruel comments on here are disgusting and unnecessary.

PM aside, 'posh' people will always have an advantage in life because they have resources to enable them to make good choices. I'm not sure how this can be denied as although it's a generalisation, this too is factual.

The wider debate around being slim versus overweight is less clear cut, I think. I think it's really interesting that as a slim person I feel very insulted by some of the comments on here and perceive the overall tone as slim-bashing. But others have said they perceive it as bashing those who are overweight (no will power etc).

I believe there is a huge genetic component to being slim. Certainly in my case. But one thing that really stands out to me is the suggestion (again my perception) that if you don't eat a large amount of unhealthy food you're on a conscious 'diet' with an unhealthy attitude to control. If this is genuinely the thought of society this is very worrying.

The overriding thing that stands out though is how absolutely horrible people are.

But one thing that really stands out to me is the suggestion (again my perception) that if you don't eat a large amount of unhealthy food you're on a conscious 'diet' with an unhealthy attitude to control. If this is genuinely the thought of society this is very worrying

Yes this is an alarming feature of this thread.

Oh and to add...

The other thing that's confusing is that people are mixing up being slim and being underweight. Being slim is IMO a definition of being a health weight. How can it possibly be argued that being a healthy weight is unhealthy.

Yes, you’ve hit it on the head and I think that’s what I was trying and failing to get at.

It’s the normalisation of existing on unhealthy empty nutrient food which bothers me, particularly for children.

But one thing that really stands out to me is the suggestion (again my perception) that if you don't eat a large amount of unhealthy food you're on a conscious 'diet' with an unhealthy attitude to control. If this is genuinely the thought of society this is very worrying.

I don't think I have seen this on this thread - but it's a long thread and I may have missed it.

Some posters have detailed really quite restrictive eating and not ever or extremely rarely eating outside that - which does sound a bit unhealthy - but I don't think anyone has said not eating "large amounts of unhealthy food" is indicative of an unhealthy attitude.

To take one example of a restrictive diet from an earlier page:

Cut out the alcohol, sweets, biscuits, jars of sauces, crisps, bread, sugar, processed foods, etc and weight will drop off.

Now some of this is unquestionable - sweets, crisps, processed foods - but never ever eating bread, never having the odd drink, never ever having a quick meal using a jar of sauce, this is pretty damn restrictive.

(I largely follow these anyway actually - but I can't say the kids have never played up so I rushed out forgetting my lunch salad and then I ended up with a sandwich)

Well of course I know my anecdotes are just that. This isn't a study and I'm just sharing some personal experience on a thread, as others are.
There'll be those who eat all day long and remain thin, and others who skip meals to remain thin. In my 20's I ate whatever I liked and remained thin, including lots of pizza and take aways. Now, I can't and do intermittent fasting to remain at a weight that's stable but could still do with losing a few lbs. My friends are similar and some have made it a priority to be very slim and they're the ones who don't eat many carbs and prefer protein and veg.
We often talk about meals and diets as it's important to us to try to be healthy.

@SpongeBob2022

PM aside, 'posh' people will always have an advantage in life because they have resources to enable them to make good choices. I'm not sure how this can be denied as although it's a generalisation, this too is factual.

Well yes but some posters have attempted to deny it and willpower shame people - if you really want to be thin, you'll eat a bag of carrots and some lentils. That's the sort of thing that has been prominent in this thread to me

Every single time I mention on Mumsnet what I eat I get told it sounds like a miserable, joyless existence (basically I don’t snack and eat only a small amount of sweet stuff). Always makes me laugh as quite obviously if I found it to be so I wouldn’t do it.

I know it’s an awful lot harder for some than others but ultimately aren’t we all making a judgement whether the momentary pleasure of the food outweighs the calories. I’m happy to tuck into something really calorific at times but for me it has to be something seriously delicious to be worth it.

I’m glad I didn’t see that as I’m exactly the same. I actually do have snack food in the house (but small bars of chocolate, baked crisps etc) and my rule is I can have one the days I go to the gym… but quite often I eat my dinner and I’m too full afterwards! I never had a sweet tooth at all but I drastically cut down my wine consumption and have replaced it with chocolate! But still only a little at a time

We often talk about meals and diets as it's important to us to try to be healthy

You see every poster has said they remain thin for their health....yes all of us want to be healthy but research has shown that being very very slightly overweight is actually protective for our health. Vast majority of people want to be thin for aesthetic reasons...that's fine. Own it. Stop dressing it up as strong and healthy...you want to look good, that's fine.

It's true that genes play a role but it also works both ways.

All the female members of my family have a tendency to put weight on (apple figures) and it's only by being very careful with food that we can stay healthy. (My Gran had a heart attack at 60 and was overweight.)

'Blaming' your genes for either being slim (and able to eat anything and everything) or being overweight only goes so far.

We all have pre-dispositions to some things. But that doesn't equate to being unable to change our behaviour.

There's also more science now about how ultra processed food can cause weight gain even when calorie for calorie it's the same as non processed food. The worst of all are artificial sugars.

If I ate whatever I fancied, I'd be the size of a bus. I went through a fat phase just after puberty and hated it. I was simply eating too much.

At home, we don't have crisps, biscuits, cakes, puddings, sweets, sugary yoghurts etc. All our main meals are cooked from scratch.

We do have some 75-80% dark choc and DH and I have a square or two a day.

Now and again - at a weekend - I'll make a pudding.

Not posting this to be holier-than-thou but answering the OP.
And we're not 'posh'.

Thin and slim are different.

Thin= implies unhealthy.
Slim= implies healthy.

You're slim-shaming.

In very old age, being a few pounds overweight might give older people some back-up if they are ill with something else. They have some reserves. But you're looking at 3 kilos or so, not 3 stones.

And- and this is interesting- being slightly fatter and it being protective could be linked to behaviour- being sociable, mixing, eating out - coffee and cakes- which is known to help ageing.

But given we have an obesity epidemic , most older people are not just a few pounds overweight.

Fed up with slim-shaming here.